101 WWE Ficlets!
by Special Agent FUNK
Summary: 101 very short stories about some of the, in my opinion, coolest WWE-superstars
1. Damn you all to hell!

**I don't any of the WWE-superstars okidoki?** If I did I wouldn't be here writing about them, but doing other stuff to them.  
Ewww Ella, don't say that.

_sighs_ I don't know why I'm doing this, but hey, we all get bored sometimes. There will 101, and hurray, they will all be about my favorite WWE-superstars (and lesser favorites too sometimes) Bleh. There will be humor, romance, randomness, horror, supernatural stuff, friendship and maybe even poetry lmbo.

* * *

The King of Kings was sitting in his comfy chair, the controller loosely in his hands.  
"Hehe, you're going down..." He mumbled to his television while pressing some buttons and confirming his actions.  
He was on a roll. Nobody knew he was a gamer, because he liked keeping it a secret, but he was. And a pretty good one too!  
It helped him improve his hand-eye coordination, and well, it was fun. He just adored his gamecube. In his opinion Gamecube was the best because everything was so colorful and happy. And well, Triple H loved bright colors.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door, and he looked up to see who it was.

Kane stepped in, looking a bit lost. "Paul? Have you seen my Nintendo DS?"

Okay, so maybe Triple H shared his gaming secret with one person, and that happened to be the Big Red Monster. He thought it'd be better to tell Kane because it was hard to keep any embarassing secrets from him... And it was quite nice to find out Kane himself was a gamer too.

"Eh, I saw it somewhere..." Triple H put down his controller casually and stood up, disappearing into his bedroom. "Found it!" He yelled happily.  
He came back in, waving with the Nintendo DS Kane had been looking for. "Why do you have a pink one anyway?"  
Kan shrugged. "It matches my outfit."

Triple H took another good look at Kane and realised he was wearing a shirt in the exact same color as his NDS. He shrugged. He had been in the wrestling business for so long, nothing surprised him anymore.  
Kane babbled on about his outfit, but Triple H didn't notice... The only thing he did notice was his videogame, and how apparantly he had lost a battle because Kane had come in a distracted him.

'Doduo has fainted.' It read on his television screen. Doduo had been fried by a thundershock.  
Triple H turned to Kane and looked angry. "Damn you Glen!" He yelled.  
He turned to the tv. "Damn you too Pikachu! Damn you all to hell!" He left the room, muttering to himself, leaving Kane behind looking even more lost than when he came in.  
Kane scratched the back of his head. "Wait, why was my NDS in your bedroom?!"


	2. The Inventor

I don't any of the WWE-superstars!

Hurray.

The Undertaker woke up to the sound of someone mumbling.  
He opened one eye and didn't know where he was. He only knew his head was hurting, and the mumbling was coming from the other side of the room.  
He sat up in his own, very stylish way and saw Chris Jericho staring at him.

"Chris? What's going on? Where am I? Why are you here? Wasn't I supposed to see Glen today? Why is my head hurting?"  
Chris tilted his head and glared at the Taker to shut him up.

"Something doesn't make sense." He said to the Undertaker.  
"I know." Taker replied.

Chris got up from his chair and walked up to the Undertaker, staring at him and shaking his head.  
"What's wrong Chris?" Taker asked.  
"I found a new profession."  
"Which would be...?"  
"I am what you call an inventor now." Chris said. "And you, you were my first project."  
"Eh?"  
"I have turned you into a red monster, but something's just not right..." Chris said. "I can't figure out what though."

The Undertaker was confused. His head hurt and something really wasn't right, he could feel it too.

"You know..." Chris continued, "I wanted to live up to my name. And I wanted you to live up to your name too. So I decided to help you out and..."  
Chris' sentence was cut off by the Taker, who didn't know what he was talking about.  
"What do you mean?" He asked Chris confused.  
"Well, I was thinking, since my wrestlingname is 'the Inventor' I decided to invent something. And since yours is 'the Big Red Monster' I wanted to make you a big red monster." Chris said, explaining his weird babbling. "But something just doesn't seem right..."

The Undertaker looked angry. "My wrestlingname is The Undertaker, and yours is Chris Jericho, or Y2J. Glen is who they call the Big Red Monster, and inventors invent things, they don't mess around with actual human beings"  
"OH! That explains a lot! Thanks Mark, now I understand why you didn't turn out the way I wanted you to"  
"Eh"  
"I'd say take a look in the mirror..." Chris sighed. "I'm sorry, I thought I was the Inventor and you the Big Red Monster. Since I'm Y2J I didn't make you a red monster, but..."

The Undertaker hopped off of the table he was on and walked up to the large mirror attached to the wall. He stood in front of it and after only a few seconds he turned around with the speed of light and glared at Chris very scarily.  
"I'm sorry, you were supposed to come out red, I didn't know the paint would be..."  
"Deeppink?!" Taker yelled. "You made me pink?! You are so going to hell!"


	3. I'm da Bomb

No own WWE ya? Whoohoo.

R&R and I will give you a cookie.

* * *

All WWE superstars stared at Batista as he entered the stage. They were curious, yet a bit worried about what the Animal was going to do.

"Hi, I'm David, and I wrote a song. I will play and sing it for you now..."

_My name is David, and I'm da Bomb,  
being this cool makes use some slang,  
whenever I enter a room everyone shivers,  
because I like to make things go bang_

_I'm too sexy for my shirt, so I usually don't wear it,  
even my pants I prefer to take off.  
It makes me feel free and very masculine,  
and it makes things easier when I want to make love._

_They call me the Animal, and they don't mean I'm a kitten,  
no really, I am a polarbear at least,  
but I prefer to see myself as a lion,  
I am David, and I'm a sexy beast._

_My name is David, and I'm da Bomb,  
being this cool makes use some slang,  
whenever I enter a room everyone shivers,  
because I like to make things go bang_

_My muscles will always be bigger than yours,  
and you will never look as good as I do,  
in fact I am the Shaman of Sexy, I am the Heartbreak Kid,  
I am the Chick-Magnet and if you really think about it,  
you know that that is true._

_Because my name is David, and I'm da Bomb,  
being this cool makes use some slang,  
whenever I enter a room everyone shivers,  
because I like to make things go bang_

A few people were staring at Batista, mouths wide open and eyes as big as satellite dishes. Some others were rolling over the floor laughing, and Shawn Michaels stood up to make his way to the stage aswell.  
He climbed up and with the same amount of arrogance he proclaimed; _"I am the Heartbreak Kid, and I think you are sick, so here, just for you, I present Sweet Chin Music"  
_Shawn kicked Batista to the ground and left the stage again. Batista the real Heartbreak Kid? I didn't think so...


	4. Masks and a hat

I don't own these people aiight?! Only on posters and dvd's. Hehehehe.  
_Obsessive grin_  
Never mind.  
Thanks for those who have already read/reviewed I appreciate it!

* * *

"They made me see a shrink."  
"Why?" CM Punk asked confused.  
"Because I stole Rey Mysterio's mask."

Punk shrugged, he never knew why Kane disliked Rey, and maybe seeing a shrink wouldn't hurt the Big Red Machine in the end.

"So what happened?" Punk asked.  
Kane shrugged. "I burned his office down, stole the African masks from the wall, got arrested, got thrown into jail, called Mark, Mark set the police-station on fire, I escaped, the police went after Mark and forgot about me."  
Punk cocked an eyebrow. "So now Mark is in jail?" He asked confused.  
Kane nodded.  
"And you're not going to try and get him out."  
Kane shook his head.  
"Why not?"

The Big Red Machine hesitated, but decided to answer truthfully.

"It was all set-up from the beginning right?" He said. "The reason I stole Rey's mask is because I wanted Vince to make me see a shrink, and than I planned on burning the place down, going to jail, and everything else that happened..."  
"So in the end you wanted Mark in jail." CM Punk said, happy because he actually understood Kane's weird explanation.  
"Yep."  
"But why?"  
Kane shrugged again. "I stole his hat and he found out."  
Punk cocked his eyebrow again. "So?"  
"Mark told me he would send me to hell." Kane said.  
"Yeah..."  
"I don't want to go to hell. I'm too pretty for it anyway."


	5. It's under my bed!

I don't own them people ya?

Note: I said there would be a lot of genre's. Well scratch that, it's going to be humor, because I can only do drama in longer fics.  
And I'm sorry but Kane will probably around a lot -- Just like Taker, Y2J and Batista.

* * *

"I'm telling you, it's under my bed." He said, making wild gestures with his arms. "And it was tall and huge!"  
"John, there's is nothing underneath your bed, except for some dust." The Miz said annoyed.  
"There is something there! I'm sure it's not human, no human gets that large!"

John was at the verge of crying. Never in his whole life had he liked the darkness, and ever since there had been something, or someone under his bed for the past two days, he was afraid to go to sleep aswell.

"Did you ever turn on the light when you saw 'him'?"  
John shook his head. "Hell no, he could eat me."  
The Miz sighed. "But if you turn it on it might go away, ask Mark, creatures from the Dark do not like light."

John realised his friend made sense. Mark came from hell, so he should know what to do...

"Mark!" He yelled when the Undertaker walked by. "I need your help!"  
Taker moaned. "No, I'm not playing cowboys and indians with you again."  
"No, no, you must tell me what to do!"  
"I'm telling you to eh..." Taker thought for a moment. "I'm telling you to steal Glen's pants, because he stole my hat."  
John shook his head. "I mean, you need to tell me what to do about the thing under my bed!"  
The Deadman smirked. "I'd say get someone to clean your room, if dust starts to look like something it's never good."

John was annoyed. He wasn't tidy, but he wasn't dirty either!

"I mean, there's someone under my bed and he comes out at night and stares at me..." John said. "And since you're from hell, you should know how I have to chase it away."  
Taker sighed. "I'm not from hell, I pretend to be, so see a shrink if you're seeing things..."

John sighed and turned around to go back to the Miz.

The Big Show walked by and smirked at the Undertaker. "Is he scared?"  
Taker nodded. "I still don't understand how you fit under his bed though..."


	6. Apples

I don't ownnnnnn themmmmmm ja?  
Ja.  
Ugh.

* * *

"It's the only thing you can answer to every single question." Carlito said satisfied.  
"Oh really?" THE Brian Kendrick asked. "Let's try..."  
Carlito nodded.

"What is your favorite food?"  
"Apples." Carlito said smiling.  
"What is the best thing to come out of the ground?"  
"Apples, because they grow on a tree, which comes out of the ground."  
Brain smirked. "What is your second name?"  
"Apple." Carlito said. "My mother was quite fond of them too."  
"Carlito Apple?" Brian asked confused.  
"Apple." Carlito said nodding.

Brian appeared to think for a moment.

"What is the best thing on this planet?"  
"Apples." Carlito said satisfied.  
"No, I am the best thing on the planet." Brian said annoyed. "And you know that!"  
"Apples are. Apples are red, you're not, therefore apples are better."  
Brian sighed. "What kind of computer do you own?"  
"APPLE!" Carlito said. "I told you, apples are the key to a better life!"  
"Really?" Brian asked. "Than tell me, what do you like to have next to you in bed?"

Carlito shrugged and smiled. "Apple."

Brian took a step back, away from the freaky Carlito. "You are sick and twisted!" He yelled before running off.

"Damnit Brian, FIONA Apple!"


	7. Depression

Don't own, don't care.  
Thanks for the reviews people, I'm happy with yoouuu. Lmbo.

* * *

Matt sighed and looked depressed. His life was boring him, and it brought out the worst in him.

"I feel so old and ugly and stupid." He complained to Jeff.  
Jeff frowned. "Why?"

MVP, who was passing by and overheard them said "Because he is old, ugly and stupid."  
Matt stared at Jeff. "See? He's right..." He groaned "I'm going to kill myself now."

Matt got up from his sulking place on the floor and started to walk away, but he stopped when Jeff yelled after him.  
"Matt, wait!"  
Matt turned around. "What is it? Are you going to stop your big brother from doing something stupid?"  
Jeff shook his head. "No, I just wondered if I could have your bicycle."


	8. Finish the sentence

YOU KNOW! I still don't own them.

Ha.

* * *

They wanted to play a game, and Triple H, THE Game, decided what they would play.

"So, I'll give you this note, and it has sentences you should finish. However, everyone can finish one sentence, and than you'll fold it so the other doesn't see your sentence, and give it to the person next to you, so he can finish the next. That way we'll get a story that could make us laugh"  
Everyone shrugged. So the King of Kings never made sense... Who cares, they were so bored they'd play anything.

_There once was..._  
**AN APPLE!**  
_That wanted...  
_**To play Pokemon.  
**_But he couldn't, because..._  
**Someone turned him into a Big PINK Machine! I hate you CHRIS!**  
_So instead he..._  
**Stole everyone's masks haha haha hahaha hahaaaaa!**  
_And later on he decided to..._  
**Write a song about bombs**  
_Because...  
_**He thought he was stupid fat and ugleeeh  
**_And he lived...  
_**With a monster under his bed, not so happily ever after.**


	9. German

I don't own anything related to the WWE except for some posters and dvd's. I think.  
_Thinks_  
Yeah I'm pretty sure.

Right?  
RIGHT!

Thanks to all people who have reviewed already :D :D **You rule!**

* * *

MVP saw Edge sitting in a corner with a book in his lap. Edge's head was making weird movements as he tried to understand written in the book.

"What're ya readin'?" MVP asked curiously.  
"Words." Edge replied shortly. "I don't understand them."  
"Are you illiterate?" MVP asked.  
"No."  
MVP shrugged. "Than why don't you understand?"  
"It's German."  
"Ah! I speak German! Say something!"

Edge stared at MVP, confused. Why was MVP able to speak German? Ahwell, no harm done in trying.

"Ich heisse Adam und ich komme aus Canada." Edge said with a strange accent.  
"Oh ja? Das ist mir scheiss egal!" MVP said, laughing out loud and walking away again. By the time Edge figured out what it ment he would be far, far away from him.

"What?" Edge asked confused. He looked up the words and found out it ment something like 'Oh yes? I really could care less'  
"You could care less... You could care less?! I'm Edge for Heaven's sake, I'm like..." Edge stopped when he saw MVP left already, no sign of the man left.  
"Fuck you, next time you enter your hotelroom you'll find out your M&M's will be gone again, and guess who stole and ate them?" Edge said to himself, leaving for MVP's hotelroom while letting out an evil laugh.  
MVP wouldn't survive without M&M's. He was just attached to them as Edge was to his teddybear.

* * *

Note: Das ist mir scheiss egal is not the actual translation of I really could care less. It's a rough translation, because the real translation would sound stupid in English.


	10. Damn you all to hell! 2

NO OWNY OKIDOKI?  
Okidoki.  
(Yes, I admit, I actually answer my own questions. Bad habit)

You know, I keep dreaming about Kane on a bus with no doors. (The bus has no doors, I'm quite aware of the fact that Kane having no doors is normal)  
If you know what a bus means in a dream, tell me. It's driving me nuts.

* * *

Triple H was standing in a large store filled with videogames. He looked around happily and skipped to the Gamecube section.  
"Resident-Evillllll." He said with a scary voice. He shook his head, he didn't want to play it. Everytime he put his own RE game in the console he got scared from all the zombies creeping up on him.  
He was going to give Kane the game, Kane was great at games in which you could shoot people.

"AH!" Triple H yelled when he saw a new Pokemon game on the shelf. "I'm soooooo buying that!" He said to an employee.  
The employee smirked. He could care less, but you can't say that to customers. Especially not large customers that carried around a sledgehammer.

Triple H went to pay for the game.  
_"It's time to play the game."_ He said to the girl behind the cash register.  
She nodded.  
_"Time to play the GAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!"_  
"I know sir, I'm sure you'll have lots of fun." She said, sighing. So much for a quiet day.  
"_It's all about the game, and how you play it_..."  
"I know."  
"I'm great at playing games..." Triple H continued.  
"I'm sure you are."  
"I AM the game!"  
"Sir, that will be twenty dollars."

The King of Kings didn't hear her.

_"I am the game, you don't wanna play me!"_ Triple H yelled happily.  
"Sir, please, twenty dollars"  
_"I am control, no way you can change me."  
_"I'm not trying to change you, only the amount of money in your wallet." The girl said annoyed.  
_"I am heavy debt, no way you can pay me."_ Triple H continued singing.  
"Of course I won't pay you, you should pay me!" The girl was getting annoyed.  
_"I am the pain and I know you can't take me."_  
"Tell me about it, you're a pain in the ass." The girl said. "Sir, if you're not going to pay me, please leave, other people do want to pay for their games"  
_"It's time to play the game."_  
"Not today. Security?!" The girl yelled.

Two large men in uniforms walked by. "Yes?"  
"Please remove this gentleman from the store."

The two man grabbed Triple H and started to walk him out of the store.  
"But no! I am the game, I must buy the game!" Triple H yelled. "Please..."  
"I'm sorry sir, please come back when you've calmed down a bit." One of the security guards said.  
The guards walked away and left the King of Kings alone.  
"But... _It's all about the g_... ARGH! Damn you, damn you all to hell!"


	11. You've got mail!

WHOOOOO after this one only 90 more to go.  
Falls over  
That's a lot :S 3 Chapters a day, mean 30 in ten days and 90 in 30 days. That's a whole month. And I'm probably going to skip days and.  
I talk too much.

Don't own, don't want (That was a lie)

* * *

_Dear Umaga,  
Please go to the Game Inc. Store for me and buy Pokemon Wood for the Gamecube.  
Please don't sing any Mot?head songs when you're there.  
Please do pay 20 bucks and stay away from the security guards.  
Please tell Glen to pick up Resident Evil when he's in my neighbourhood.  
Please tell Vince I can not come to Smackdown next week because I have a sore throat.  
Please tell Rey Mysterio I found his mask in Kane's closet.  
Please don't tell Adam I have his teddybear.  
Please make sure to bring me Pokemon before tomorrow.  
Please tell Shawn to come by and bring me Chickensoup.  
Please don't eat the chickensoup yourself.  
Please tell Mark I do not have his hat, even though Glen told him that.  
Please tell everyone else they should stop stealing things from eachother and bring it to me to hide in bedroom.  
Please do these things, and I'll give you MVP's M&M's, that were stolen from Adam when they tried to speak German.  
Please don't forget anything._

_I love you loadszzzzzzzzzz,  
Paul, the Game, the King of Kings, the one with a sledgehammer1!! (Yes that isz a threat!)_

Umaga clicked on 'Reply'.

_Dear Paul.  
I no likey M&M's, no likey hammers, no likey Kane and no likey chickensoup.  
Will go to store to buy game. Game for Umaga, and game for Kozlov. No game for Game, because Game nag loadszzzzzz.  
Will come pick up teddybear, Umaga likey teddybear loadszzzzzzz. Will come for Taker hat too, Umga likey hatszzzzzz. Will tell Vince Game is sick. Game is sick because Game no Chickensoup, and Umaga no bringing chickensoup and game to Game.  
Game stop e-mailing Umaga now, Umaga no likey Game. Umaga never did, Umaga never will.  
Umaga will tell Vickie Game is dumb, Umaga ask Vickie to send Game to Raw forever, so Game can have fun with Kane. Umaga no likey Kane. No not at all, Umaga no likey Kane's pants. Umaga ask if Raw sends Batista back to SD! Because Batista nice. Umaga Likey Dave loadszzzzzz._

_Bye Game, no love you bakk, so STFU PLEASE YA!  
Umaga._

Umaga sent the e-mail to Triple H and clicked on 'New'.

_Dear Apple,_

_I would like to ask you if you want to come with me to the mall. We can buy toiletpaper and teepee the hotel Paul is in right now.  
He's sent me two e-mails today containing a lot of tasks he wants me to do, and I have to show him you can not boss me around.  
I will be waiting for you._

_Later,  
Umagaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. The Samoan Man from Brasil._

Only four minutes later Umaga received an e-mail back from Carlito.

_Dear Umaga._

_Be right there, after I finish the painting I'm making from these apples.  
Will bring apples with me for you too, they are so red, you have to see them.  
LATER ALLIGATOR!_

_CArLiTOOOO AppLe._

_P.s. You're not from Brasil._


	12. Who are you?

I don't own you know.

So yeah, it should be 101 independant stories... Problem is, if I have something in my head, I can't get it out.  
So some of the ficlets will actually make sense only if you read the other ones too.

* * *

"Hello?" Finlay said when he answered his cellphone.  
"Hi..."  
"Who's this?"  
"It's me."  
Finlay got annoyed. "Who is me?"  
"Well, _you're_ Finlay."  
Finlay nodded as if the person on the other end could see him.  
"And you love to fight..."  
Finlay nodded again. "And who are you?"  
"I told you, it's me!"  
"But who are you?"  
"It's me, Paul!"  
"What Paul?" Finlay asked. Finlay didn't know any Pauls... Not in real life that is. So he started to guess. "Are you Paul eh... McCartney?"  
"No."  
"Paul Newman?"  
"No..."  
"Ehhh." Finlay was already running out of Pauls. "Paul Landers?"  
"Who's that?" The other person, 'Paul' asked.  
"He plays guitar in Rammstein."  
"Who's Rammstein?"  
"A band." Finlay said.  
"Are they good?"  
Finlay nodded.

Finlay nodded a lot, even on the phone.

"Hello?"  
"Hello." Finlay said again.  
"Who are you?"  
"Eh, it's me, Finlay. Who are you?"  
"Paul..."  
"Paul who?"  
"Paul eh... Something. I'm ill, I don't remember."  
"Why did you call me Paul?" Finlay asked.  
"I didn't call you, called me!"  
"No I didn't..."  
"But why would I call you?" 'Paul' asked.  
"I don't know..."  
"Neither do I."  
"I'll just hang up than... okay?" Finlay said confused.  
"Okay."

Both of them put their phones down, confused. Finlay because he had no idea who had just called him, and yes, Triple H because he didn't remember why he called Finlay.  
He decided to sit down behind the computer to e-mail Umaga and ask him a favor.

_Dear Umaga,  
Please bring me chickensoup, I'm losing my mind. My throat is sore. Or soar. I don't remember. Please. Please bring me chickensoup.  
And tell me who Finlay is. I only remember he loves to fight._

_Love,  
Paul.  
P.s. What is my last name again?_


	13. Russian!

... This is getting old.

R&R? Please :p Please R&R and bring me chickensoup. Thanks to those who've reviewed before.

* * *

"I can finally do it!" Edge exclaimed happily. "I can speak to Kozlov!"  
"No kidding." Tommy Dreamer replied dryly.  
"But I speak his language!" Edge said.  
"Russian?" Tommy Dreamer asked confused. Edge spoke Russian?  
"Eh Russian?" Edge asked.  
"Yes, he's from Russia." Dreamer said, tilting his head.  
"So I've been studying German for nothing?!" Edge groaned.

MVP, who was just passing by overheard their conversation and laughed.  
"Arshloch."

Edge grabbed his German dictionary and looked up the word 'Arschloch.' He found out it means asshole.  
When he looked up MVP was long gone, just like the last time something similar had happened, and he sighed. "Better watch your M&M's!" He yelled after MVP.

Tommy Dreamer shook his head.  
"Kids these days..."


	14. Dressing up is fun

WHATEVER. I hate disclaimers, especially in every single chapter.  
So for the last time.  
I do not own any of the WWE-superstars, or anything related to the WWE. You know, I know, if the WWE people would read this they would know.  
Are we clear? LOVELY!

* * *

Jerry Lawler walked in, making Mick Foley look up confused.  
"What's wrong?" Lawler asked when he saw Foley look a bit worried.  
"My mask is gone..." Foley sad with a sad look on his face.  
"It's is?" Jerry asked. "Where'd it go?"  
"I can only guess... And my guess is probably right..."  
"Glen?" Jerry asked.  
Foley merely nodded.

_Meanwhile..._

"Bwahahaaaa I'm Mankind!" Kane yelled, wearing Foley's mask. "And I will crush you with my socks!"  
He tugged the mask, it was a bit too small.  
"I am the King of Kings!" Triple H yelled. "And I will not let you crush me!"  
"Paul, you're the King, not the King of Kings..." Kane said annoyed.

He had not only stolen Foley's mask, but also Jerry's crown. Jerry wouldn't notice anyway, he needed glasses.

"I'm sorry, I mean, I'm the KING!" Triple H yelled.

Kane speared Triple H to the ground, who sat up a bit dizzy.

"I told you, I will crush you with my socks!" Kane giggled. "I told you dressing up was fun"  
Triple H nodded. "I now understand why you're stealing masks, hats and stuff..."  
Kane smirked. "Soooo, who's next?"  
Triple H thought about this for a second. "I eh... I'd say, Dylan."  
"Mission Stealing the Leprechaun's hat will take place tomorrow!"  
Triple H saluted Kane, knocking the crown off of his head. "I will be awaiting your orders sir!"

* * *

Starting this I said it would be about my favorite superstars... Guess who my biggest favorite is :p


	15. How does that fit?

"Today it was in my closet..." John Morisson said to his friend.  
"What was?" The Miz asked confused.  
"You know, what was under my bed first."  
"Oh, the dust!"  
John shook his head. He needed to clean so people would stop thinking he was dirty.

"Hell-o." The Undertaker said to the weirdo's when he walked by.  
"Mark! It's in the closet now!" John said scared. "First it was under my bed, now it's in the closet!"  
Mark frowned. "Paul fits under your bed?" He asked confused.  
"It was Paul?! Oh I'm so going to steal his sledgehammer!" John yelled, storming off to find Paul.

"No way dude!" Taker yelled after him. "I was talking about Paul W... Oh screw it, Glen stole the hammer already anyway..."  
"Glen stole Paul's hammer?" The Miz asked.  
Taker nodded. "Glen steals a lot these days."  
"Why?"  
"I intend to find out, I suspect Paul has something to do with it too..."

The Miz suddenly yelled and asked "Paul 'the Big Show' was under John's bed?"  
"Yep."  
"How does that fit?"  
"I do intend on finding that out aswell."


	16. Dead Man

So yeah, Edward's Josie Black your many many reviews inspired me to this.  
Don't expect too much xD I'm happy with the reviews though :P Thanks to eh, Warrior from Beyond aswell, for the same reason :D Triple H is scary isn't he. (And yes, Kane is the favorite w00t)

* * *

"Pew pew pewwwww you're dead!" John yelled happily.  
Taker shook his head. "Shut up, I was dead already."  
"Really? So I won?"  
"I'm a deadman, I can not be killed anymore, therefore, I always win."

John sighed. Playing cowboys and indians wasn't funny anymore. Taker always won, because whenever Taker was the cowboy he kept saying indians couldn't win from guns, and whenever he was the indian he said he was immortal. Very annoying.

"I want to play something I can win." John whined.  
"You can not win, for I am the Phenom, the Deadman, The Undertaker, and I'm a badass too."  
"Teach me how to be a Deadman?" John pleaded.  
Taker nodded.

He left, looking for Kane. He needed to talk to him about his hat, and ask if he could borrow Triple H's sledgehammer.

"Why do you need it?" The Big Red Machine asked when Taker was looking for the sledgehammer.  
Taker shrugged. "I need to teach John something."  
"Really? Cena?"  
Taker shook his head. "No, the weirdo that is visited by Paul every night."  
"Ooooh..." Kane shrugged. "Here ya go, I want it back in one piece though."  
Taker smirked and left, with the sledgehammer.

"Well John, today I will teach you how to be a _dead_ man."


	17. Stuck

Blabla.  
WOW 35 reviews in only 16 chapters? What have I done?  
Ehhh.  
Write.

**Inspired by:** Beavis and Butt-Head xD

* * *

John Cena wasn't to be considered dumb, not at all, but he wasn't always very bright either. He proved this when he was walking home from the pub.

"Dun dun dun, y'all always on the run, and I see..." He stopped 'rapping' and stared at the big pipes that were on the ground near him. "I see pipes!"  
Cena wasn't the type of person to just let things be, and he decided to investigate the big pipes that were probably there for new sewage or whatever.

He looked inside one of them and yelled. "Helloooooooooo?"  
"Hellooooooo..." There was a faint echo.  
"AH Who's there?" Cena yelled.  
"Theeeeeere..."  
"It's me! John Cena!" John yelled, wondering who was in the pipe.  
"Cenaaaaa..."  
"Yes." John thought for a moment. "Maybe I should rescue the person in there."

He decided that was a good idea and climbed in. When he got a bit further into the pipe he realised nobody was there, except for him and some bugs.  
"I hate bugs." He mumbled to himself. The bugs made him decide to climb out again.

If only it were that simple...

Soon enough John realised he was stuck. He was stuck in a big pipe, in the middle of the night. And in the middle of the night there was only one person you could call for help.

"Ken?" He said when Mr. Kennedy picked up his cellphone. "I'm stuck."  
"Really?"  
"Yes."  
"Where?" Kennedy asked.  
"In a pipe near the pub we just left."

He explained Mr. Kennedy where it was, and soon enough Mr. Kennedy found Cena in the pipe.  
Instead of calling the firedepartment, that everybody called when they were stuck, he decided to climb in aswell.  
"John, I'm almost there." He said. He reached Cena and started to tug his leg.  
"Ouch." Cena said. "Be nice, I'm fragile!"  
Mr. Kennedy snickered. "I know..."  
While tugging John Kennedy himself started to try and crawl back out aswell, but no avail.  
"Hey John?" He said.  
"Yeah?"  
"Guess who's stuck?"  
"Eh, me?" John said annoyed.  
"Yes you, and Miiisteeeeeeeeeeeeer KENNEDY!"  
"Eh Ken, do you think we should..."  
"KENNEDYYYY!"


	18. Finish the Sentence 2

How come Mr. Kennedy made his appearance in chapter 18? I LOVE HIM argh.  
Lmbo.

**Inspired by:** Nothing. I think the 'Finish the sentence' game will make some more appearances once in a while.

* * *

"I'm bored." Kane said. "I don't feel like stealing today."  
Others nodded. "It's a boring day indeed." Jerry Lawler agreed. "Let's play a game!"  
"_It's all about the game, and h..._"  
"Shut up Paul!" Umaga yelled. "Let's just play!"  
"Finish the sentence?" The Deadman suggested.  
More nodds.  
"Okidoki than." Triple H said. "You know the rules, let's do this."

_Once upon a time there was..._  
KOZLOV!  
_He/she liked to...  
_Eat M&M's a lot  
_But he/she couldn't because..._  
He was stuck in a pipe!  
_So he/she decided to..._  
Learn German  
_So he/she could..._  
Play dress-up with his best friend forever, I love you Glen man!  
_He/she went to..._  
John Morrison's closet  
_And decided to..._  
Kill him with a sledgehammer  
_So in the end he/she couldn't..._  
Send e-mails containing stupid tasks anymore  
_And he/she (put in a nice ending)..._  
Ended up owning all the damn masks on the whole planet haha hahaha hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!


	19. Lyrics and Damnation

**Inspired by:** That time I actually did what Punk does in this chappie

* * *

"If you do it I will give you ten dollars." Matt Hardy said to CM Punk.  
"You're on man."

Matt had just dared Punk to speak in lyrics all day long. Or, to put it in a simple way, CM Punk had to answer and reply using only lyrics. No random words, but lyrics.  
If he could do it, Matt would give him money.

Punk was planning on avoiding everyone today, but Matt told everyone about the bet. So everyone decided to talk to punk today.

First there was Kozlov, who didn't know about the bet, he just wanted to say something.

"I demand better competition." He said.  
_"You fight your battles far from me, far too easilyyyy."_ Punk sang.  
Kozlov nodded. "I challenge you!"  
_"Bye bye beautifuuuuuuul!"_  
"Eh, bye."

Kozlov walked away a bit uneasy. Punk was weird.

Next was Santino Marella, who did hear about the bet, but was just looking for a nice conversation.

"It's raining again." He said annoyed.  
_"And it's hard to hold a candle, in the cold November Rain."_ Punk sang.  
"I know, but why would you hold a candle in the rain?" Marella asked confused.  
_"Sometimes love just aiiin't enooough..."_  
"Tell me about it, I love Beth, but she doesn't understand..."  
_"My little phoeniiix."_  
"No!" Santino said. "MY little phoenix!"  
_"All the wooonder that I want I found in her..."_  
"Oh shut up!" Santino was hurt. "If you want her that badly you can have her!"

Santino stalked off and Punk was relieved. He decided to go to his dressingroom and stay there until he had to wrestle. Better to be safe than sorry.

The Undertaker, who was always in for some nonsense decided to see if he could make Punk lose the bet.

"Hell-o."  
_"Helloooo, is it me you're looking for?"_  
"No, not really." Taker said. "I was just wondering, have you been doing anything new lately?"  
_"Dance with the dead in my dreaaams, listen to their hallowed screaaaams..."_  
"Really? Was it fun?"  
Punk had to think for a moment. _"I don't wanna be me anymore!"_  
"Ai, maybe you should see a shrink."  
This was getting a bit hard. _"... Before you see the light, you must die!"_ He yelled and turned around to walk away, leaving Taker behind laughing.

"Almost." Taker mumbled to himself.

William Regal thought he would be the one the make Punk lose. Matt promised him if he could make Punk stop the lyrics, he would get the ten bucks.

"G'day sir, how are you?"  
_"I see a red door and I want it painted black."_ Punk replied sternly.  
"Why black if I may ask?"  
_"It's a nice day for a white wedding."_ Punk sang.  
"And who would you wed?"  
_"KENNEDY!"_ Punk yelled, remembering Mr. Kennedy's entrance theme.  
"Really? But why?" Regal asked laughing.  
_"In and above men."_  
Regal smirked. "Whatever, listen... Yesterday I saw Vince get eaten by a hippo and Glen stole the hippo, because the hippo was wearing a mask, and he was playing Pokemon Wood for the Gamecube"  
"What?!"  
"HA! I WIN!"

Triple H couldn't resist. He saw it was the perfect opportunity for his favorite sentence, and took it.

"Damn you Kozlov, damn you Dead Man, damn you Santino and damn you you Regal... Damn you all to hell!"  
Taker shrugged. "Been there, done that."


	20. Better competition

Inspired by: My brother yelling random words as 'party' 'competition' and 'Big Daddy V'. Eh. Lmao.

**Note:** Every single superstar is out of character. I usually don't do OOC, but I just feel like it these days I do not intend to offend anyone who reads this, I know the superstars aren't this crazy/dumb/weird or insane. It's for _fun. _My fun, your fun, others' fun Don't like, don't read.

* * *

"Chicken." Khali said to Big Daddy V.  
"Yeah, it's in my tummy." V said satisfied.  
Khali shook his head. "Chicken gone."  
V tilted his head. "What chicken?"  
"Khali chicken."  
V sighed. "Whatever."

In the meanwhile Kozlov was in his hotelroom, with the Great Khali's chicken, and he was decorating the place.  
"I need better competition." He mumbled to the chicken.  
The chicken just stared at him.  
"Scary chicken."

Kozlov decorated the room with pretty much everything he could find. Bows, flags, posters and paintings. He wanted to throw a party because he finally found better competition.

"Khali is good competition." He said to the chicken. "Khali is huge, has big hands and will put up a good fight."  
The chicken nodded.  
"Eh?" Kozlov scratched the back of his head.

There was a knock on the door and Kozlov looked up. "Ah, visitors!"  
He let in half of the WWE-superstars, who didn't come to surprise Khali but to eat.  
"Hehe food." MVP snickered. "You have M&M's?"  
Kozlov nodded and pointed.  
"Goodie!"  
"Why is there a chicken?" Steve Austin asked. "Are we going to eat it?"  
Kozlov shook his head. "No, it's Khali's."  
"And you have his chicken because?"  
"Because Khali will look for the chicken, and he will look here too." Kozlov said. "Than he will come in, and we will all jump up from behind the couch and yell 'SURPRISE!' and I will finally have better competition."  
"Ooooh okay."

They didn't notice Kane was eyeing the chicken.  
"You thinking what I'm thinking?" He asked the King of Kings.  
Triple H shrugged. "Are you thinking about Pokemon?"  
Kane just smirked. "One word; Hats..."  
Triple H gasped. "You're thinking about Pokemon with hats?" He yelled.  
"Eh no. Chicken, hats... You know..."  
"Chickens with hats? That is kind of cool!"  
Kane sighed. He loved Triple H but no way they would ever make a good team. Triple H just wasn't bright enough. Maybe his brain was fading away from all the gaming and Motorhead songs.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. "CHICKEN?!" Someone yelled.  
"Quick, hide!" Kozlov yelled to everyone. "I will count to three and at three you will jump up and yell surprise!"

All superstars sat down behind the couch, which is quite an impressive thing if you think about how huge they are.

"Come in!" Kozlov yelled.  
Khali stepped in, looking around. "Pretty decorations." He said. "AH CHICKEN!"  
"Raz, dva, tri!" Kozlov yelled.  
"What?" Sounded a voice from behind the couch.  
"What?" Khali said.  
"One, two, three!" Kozlov yelled again, this time in English.

"SURPRISE!"

When Khali heard the yelling and saw a lot of men and women jump up from behind the couch he got scared.  
He stumbled backwards, tripped over 'Chicken' and landed head first on the ground.

While everyone rushed over to the Great Khali Kane saw his chance and picked up the chicken.  
"Hehe, screw masks." He mumbled while walking out with the chicken.

"Damnit." Kozlov mumbled when he saw Khali on the ground, bleeding a bit. "All I wanted was some better competition."


	21. Msn, revelations and eh What?

**Inspired by:** MSN-conversations between me and some friends.  
52 reviews? Something odd is going on, nobody ever reviews my stuff.  
I eh... Eh. You have my eternal gratitude! WHOOHOO.

* * *

**Best Freinds 4EVER w/Glen says:**  
What? Who? When? Why?

**Boinggg says:**  
You okay?

**Boinggg says:  
**Why did you write friends with ei?

**Best Freinds 4EVER w/Glen says:**  
Because I like it.

**Best Freinds 4EVER w/Glen says:**  
Where's Umaga?

**Brasil is so cool! says:**  
I'm here.

**Best Freinds 4EVER w/Glen says:**  
But why Brasil?

**Brasil is so cool! says:**  
I'm from Brasil

**Best Freinds 4EVER w/Glen says:  
**No you're not...

**Brasil is so cool! says:**  
Who are you to judge, you can't even spell...

Big Showoff has been added to the conversation.

**Best Freinds 4EVER w/Glen says:**  
Hello!

**Big Showoff says:**  
G'day

**Best Freinds 4EVER w/Glen says:  
**You seen Glen?

**Big Showoff says:**  
No

**Best Freinds 4EVER w/Glen says:**  
Where is he?

**Big Showoff says:  
**I don't know

**Best Freinds 4EVER w/Glen says:  
**Why not?

**Big Showoff says:**  
Because he didn't tell me where he was going

**Best Freinds 4EVER w/Glen says:**  
When?

**Big Showoff says:  
**Who's Boinggg?

**Boinggg says:**  
I'm the Phenom

**Big Showoff says:  
**Why Boinggg?

**Boinggg says:  
**My entrance theme starts with 'Boinggggg'.

**Big Showoff says:**  
Oh.

**Best Freinds 4EVER w/Glen says:**  
Where's Glen?

**Big Showoff says:  
**Stop asking

**Best Freinds 4EVER w/Glen says:**  
Why?

**Big Showoff says:**  
Because I said so... Glen just came online

BigRedMask has been added to the conversation

**Best Freinds 4EVER w/Glen says:  
**Glen! :3

**Brasil is so cool! says:**  
Paul, do you love Glen?

**BigRedMask says:**  
Ugh, who doesn't?

**Boinggg says:  
**I sure as hell don't!

**BigRedMask says:  
**Shut up brother from another mother

**Best Freinds 4EVER w/Glen says:  
**Glen, tell me, when are we going to play dress up again? :)

**BigRedMask says:**  
Eh... Paul

**Best Freinds 4EVER w/Glen says:**  
Yeah?

**Boinggg says:**  
What?

**Best Freinds 4EVER w/Glen says:**  
Next time I wanna be Taker!

**Boinggg says:**  
What?

**Best Freinds 4EVER w/Glen says:**  
And you can be Hornswoggle!

**Boinggg says:  
**What?

**Big Showoff:**  
Stop that mark

**Boinggg says:**  
What?

**Best Freinds 4EVER w/Glen says:**  
We still need to steal Finlay's thingie, y'know that sha... shal... Club!

**Boinggg says:  
**What?

**BigRedMask says:**  
Stfu Paul

**Big Showoff says:**  
What?

**Brasil is so cool! says:**  
Eh... What am I doing here?

Brasil is so cool! may not reply as his/her status is set offline

**Best Freinds 4EVER w/Glen says:**  
Eh, n/m

**Boinggg says:**  
What?

**Big Showoff says:  
**What is going on?

**BigRedMask says:**  
Nothing.

**Best Freinds 4EVER w/Glen says:  
**Pie! :p

**Boinggg says:**  
What?

**Big Showoff says:**  
Wait a minute... Mark's hat's gone, Hornswoggle's hat's gone... Glen and Paul are always busy in their hotelrooms and they wanna steal Finlay's... I GET IT!

**Boinggg says:  
**What?

**Big Showoff says:**  
Glen and Paul steal everything so they pretend to be other wrestlers! It's like...

**BigRedMask says:**  
... Eh I didn't steal anything

**Big Showoff says:**  
Like cosplay! omfg how gay!

**Best Freinds 4EVER w/Glen says:  
**I gave us away...

**BigRedMask says:  
**Damnit Paul. And other Paul, I'm not gay! Let me see if you still call me gay after I chokeslam yo' ass to tha ground!

BigRedMask may not reply as his/her status is set offline

**Best Freinds 4EVER w/Glen says:**  
Oops... I gotta help Glen... Bye Mark, sorry about your hat!

Best Freinds 4EVER w/Glen may not reply as his/her status is set offline

**Boinggg says:**  
What?

**Big Showoff says:  
**Please Mark, SHUT UP!


	22. Who are you? 2

I'm going to watch Raw.  
After that I'll write, hopefully without putting Kane in AGAIN! Ugh.

't Was Rey, and he ... had a mask! OH NOES!  
Time for Rey!

* * *

A man came in, looked around and sighed.  
"Who are you?" Orton asked.  
"I'm Rey."  
"Rey? Rey has been massacred..." Orton said. "Glen told me. Heck, Glen told everyone."  
"Have you seen my mask?" Rey asked.  
"No, ask Glen."  
"Hell no..."

Rey walked away, looking for his mask.

"Who are you?" Umaga asked when Rey walked by.  
"Rey Mysterio."  
"You have been massacred!"  
"No I have not not."

Rey sighed. It was unbelievable how everyone actually believed Kane. Kane for Hell's sake. The sick, demented Red Machine.

"Who are you?" JTG asked.  
"I'm your worst Nightmare." Rey replied annoyed. "You seen my mask?"  
"I seen alotta masks." JTG answered. "They're in Paul's closet."  
Rey shrugged. So there were masks in Triple H's closet, maybe his was there too.

"Halt!" JBL yelled."Who would you be?"  
"I would be John Cena had I not been born Rey Mysterio..."  
"Eh?"  
"I want my mask back." Rey said again. "You seen it?"  
JBL shook his head.  
"Oh. Okay."

Rey was surprised nobody recognised him. Maybe he should stop wearing masks all the damn time.  
When he finally reached the King of Kings' room he stepped in without knocking and found the King of Kings and the Big Red Machine playing dress up again.

"Rey?" Kane said confused.  
"For Heaven's sake give me my mask back." He said annoyed.  
The Big Red Machine tugged the mask he was wearing, Rey's mask that is, and shook his head.  
"No can do, stuck." He said.  
Triple H, who was wearing Jimmy Wang Yang's cowboyhat smirked.  
"Stuck?" He asked. "I'll call Ken!"  
Rey sighed. "I need it back, nobody recognises me!"  
Kane pointed to the closet. "There's alot of your masks in there, pick one." He sighed. "I'm stuck Paul, help me!"  
"Ken's on his way."  
"I thought I massacred you." Kane said, turning back to Mysterio.  
"No, you massacred many, but not me."  
Kane shrugged. "Whatever. What's taking Ken?"

Speak about the devil... The moment Kane said his name, Mr. Kennedy made his appearance.  
"Ken, I'm stuck." Kane said.  
"Really? Where?"  
"In this mask..." Kane replied annoyed. "It itches!"  
"Oh, okay." Mr. Kennedy appeared to think. "So do you have eh... Vaseline?"  
"What?"  
"It makes you slippery, the mask will come off like eh... Like a... Oh heck, do you?"  
Kane pointed to the closet again. "In there."

Kennedy walked into the closet and looked for vaseline. Before he could come back out Rey closed and locked the door.  
"Ha Glen! That's what you get for stealing!" He yelled happily. "Now I'm off with my blue mask, and you will be doomed to wear my red one forever!"  
He walked away happily and left Kane, Triple H and Kennedy behind, a bit confused.  
"Damnit." Kane grunted.  
"Haha, ahahaahaaaa." Triple H laughed. "Hahaha. Hahaha ahahahaha!"  
"What the hell is your problem?"  
"Rey looks so stupid without his mask!"

Suddenly a voice came from inside the closet.  
"Hey hey guys! Guess who's stuck!"  
Silence...  
"Misteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrr... Hey! I found a chicken!"

* * *

It was Kane again! AGAIN! And you know what?  
I can't help it!  
ARGH!  
And the King of Kings doesn't stay away from these fics for too long either does he?  
I'm doomed to write about them forever and in all eternity.  
Thanks for reviewing people 3


	23. Threats and Mr Crooked

_'Author's notes':_ OMG I just made the mediaplayer appear and you know what!  
No you don't.  
There was a naked man on!  
_Faints_  
And I found half a bag of M&M's that I hid from my brother!  
Guess what...  
I like to share random things with people.

Eh, thanks for even more reviews, and the kind words and the fact people appear to like the 'Chicken.  
I'm happy, you made my day And the Chicken's too that is!

**Inspired by:** The M&M's I'm eating. And mr. Bear.

* * *

_ADAMEDGE!  
MY M&M's are GONE! And I know you have them! If you do not return them by noon I will, with pleasure I might add, kill Mr. Crooked. I will cut off his head, just like Randy did with his legs and Cena with his one arm. And Mr. Crooked will be Mr. Decapitated, and you will be so sad that Smackdown will give me more time for my VIP lounge because 'poor Edgey can't come, he's mourning the loss of his beloved teddybear Mr. Crooked-Decapitated.  
Get my drift!  
Now don't mail back saying I can just buy new M&M's and that Mr. Crooked can not be replace because you've had him for at least six months. I mean come on, one M&M gone is one M&M less to eat for ME! OKAY?  
And what if I stop eating M&M's? I will starve to death! And you'll have to come to my funeral because you killed me!  
And even worse, I am writing my will now, and this is what it says'_

_'If, under any circumstances, I die because Edge stole my M&M's, I wish, no I demand, to be buried with Edge's teddybear Mr. Crooked-Decapitated.'_

_YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?  
Now get me them damn M&M's, I already ate Kozlov's._

_From MVP With Love.  
_

Edge read the mail and he was shocked. He was completely shocked. So shocked he couldn't move for at least a whole minute.  
"No... Mr. Crooked, I will save you. Please... Oh please God make Mr. Crooked run away from the demented man."

_HELLO!  
I WILL COME ASAP! Do not, I repeat, do NOT hurt Mr. Crooked!  
So does this mean Mr. Crooked is with you? I mean, I haven't seen him in a while, and well, I don't know where he is. I thought Glen had him, but when I asked Ken whether he saw a teddybear in Paul's closet he said he only found a chicken.  
A chicken!  
WTF? And than there was this... Wait.  
DO NOT HURT MR. CROOKED, I"M ON MY WAYYYYYYYYYYYyyyyyyyyyyy... Faint_

_Adam on the Edge.  
_

MVP sat on his bed, laughing. Finally some justice. He knew it was right to threaten Edge with Mr. Crooked. He didn't have Mr. Crooked, but he did know Edge didn't have him either.

Edge barged in about four minutes later, yelling and waving with a large bag of M&M's.  
"Now where..." He panted. "Is Mr. Crooked"  
MVP shrugged. "I don't have him, I think Glen made a mask out of him." He smirked.  
"A... A m-m-mask?" Edge said shocked. "A MASK?!"

MVP smirked again and opened his bag of M&M's while watching Edge laying on the floor, pale and uncouncious from shock.  
"That's what you get for stealing AdamEdge."


	24. Find your Inner Talent

Inspired by: Nothing at all. I'm not in a good mood anymore.  
Won't affect the fic though.

* * *

"Let's be poetic today." Batista said to Stone Cold.  
"I wasn't born poetic."  
"We all were, you just need to find that inner talent."  
"What?" Stone Cold asked.  
"You must find it."  
"How?"  
"Start with rhyming... Rhyme and you will find your inner talent."  
"I have plenty of talents already." Austin replied.  
"Really?"  
"I can dance, I'm a dancemachine."

Who would've guessed Stone Cold Steve Austin was a machine aswell? Someone tell Kane pronto!

"How about we make up a song, perform it and you can dance?" Batista said. "I smell a hit!"  
"Nah, that's me, I did not change my socks this morning."  
"Oh... Oh well, let's write a song. About eh... Everyone! I say one sentence, and you rhyme."  
Austin sighed. "Fine."

Batista began.

"Eh one, two, three"  
_"I see mister Kennedy!"_ Stone Cold exclaimed. He waved at Mr. Kennedy who was standing nearby.  
"Eh. People count before they start a song, it's not part of the song though." Batista said.  
"Okay."  
"And again, eh one, eh two, eh three!"  
_"There is a metal plate in my knee!"  
_"Steve, I told you, first I count, and than I say a sentence and than you rhyme."  
"Ooooh, okay." Austin nodded.  
"Here we go- again." Batista said. "Five, six, seven, eight... _I..."_  
Austin interrupted. _"Umaga, he should lose some weight!"  
_"STEVE!"  
"Whaaaaaaaat?! You counted to eight, first to three, I don't get it..."  
"Okay, I will count to three, than I will make up a sentence, and you're going to make something rhyme with it!"  
"I get it now..." Austin said.  
"Great!" Batista said annoyed. "One, two, three... _Yesterdaaaaaay..."_  
_"All my troubles seemed so far awaaaaay."_ Stone Cold sang.  
"That song has been written before!"  
"Really?"  
"Yes, by the Beatles." Batista said, even more annoyed. "You have to make it up! One more time..."

Batista counted again. "_Oh of all the boys..._"  
_"Taker took my toys!"_ Austin sang.  
"_He brought them home..."_  
_"Oh country roads!"_  
"Eh?"  
_"Beh?"_

Batista decided it had been enough. He was now convinced not everyone was poetic, and maybe Stone Cold should stick to dancing.  
"I'm leaving." He said. "Go dance if you please"  
_"I can not with metal knees?"_

* * *

I could not resist using my username in my fics. Lmao.  
Only two fics today, I did write a third, but it's bad because someone made me even more angry and I had a great idea but he made me forget about it.  
Beh.  
See ya next time! Don't forget to R&R, some reviews make me smirk, smile or even laugh :D WHOOHOO

Triple T :p


	25. Yes

Oh my Lord, some guy gave me the cutest nickname EVER.  
And now I wanna go to sleep, but he keeps saying it, so I'm all crazy now. He made my day argh.  
So instead of going to bed, I'll just write one more until he finally lets me sleep without saying that word whenever I try to leave.  
Spastic movements Smiles  
Inspired by: J, who gave me the cutest nickname EVER!

* * *

"Oh wow, you're like, KANE!" A random girl yelled when well-, Kane, walked down the street.  
"Yes." Kane replied.

He thought he was dealing with a random fangirl, little did he know she had evil plans. Very evil plans.

"You're like, the Big Red Machine right?"  
"Yes."  
"And you're eh, a brother of Destruction?"  
"Yes." Kane said again.  
"And you're on Raw, right?"  
"Yes..."  
"But first on ECW!" She said.  
"Yes."  
"And you have been on Smackdown..."  
"Yes..."

It was getting boring in Kane's opinion.

"So eh, you tagged with the Big Show!"  
"Yes."  
"And you're real name is Glen!"  
"Yes." Kane answered- again.  
"And you used to wear a mask."  
"Yes."  
"And you were like, a champion too!"  
"Yes..."  
"So... Will you marry me?"  
"Yes... Eh, wait, what?!"  
"You already said yes!" The girl exclaimed. "I'll be expecting you tomorrow in the big church across the street from here." She pointed at a church. "And make sure you wear a t-shirt!"

"Oh man, what have I gotten myself into?"

* * *

I do this all the time to annoy people (for the rest I'm a very sweet girl). Try it, it's fun!


	26. Forever I Ride

I'm going to watch Smackdown, and than I'll write something new.  
Hopefully it will be inspiring to watch SD!. And hopefully I'll be able to refrain from putting Taker in. Lmbo. Or Triple H...

Inspired by: The song 'Forever I Ride' by Antichrisis.

* * *

He was riding a car. A big car that is, and he was singing along.  
Nobody knew he could sing, not even his little 'brother'.

_'As the autumn wind blows hard in crawling devastation  
I was not prepared to find fate in a state of rage  
Love once seemed so strong to me,  
promising salvation  
another Tragedie d'amour appearing on life's stage_

_And again he hears the raven's cry... '_

He smiled happily. He loved riding around, doing nothing but sing. He could care less about everything else that happened at those times.

_'I'm strucked down without warning  
by your words like cyanide  
She left me in the morning  
but forever I will ride  
And forever I ride... '_

"Forever I ride!" He yelled happily. He prevented his hat from flying off by holding it with one hand. The other hand was loosely on the steering wheel, and nothing, no nothing could harm him.  
He was happy, he was happy because he had his hat back. He finally took it back from Kane when Kane was trying to get Rey's mask off.  
He even let mr. Kennedy out of the closet, and now he was riding around on a perfect day.

Had he not been stupid enough to put on a hat that day, had he not been stupid enough to only steer with one hand and had he actually looked around instead of singing like a dead madman he would've seen the tree coming.

Or well, so he said later on. He told everyone the tree was coming. Not that he accidently...

"Holy Hell!" He yelled when he noticed he wasn't on the road anymore. "What did I..."  
With a great bang that made his ears ring for at least three more days the tree stopped the car.  
"Damnit." He mumbled when he saw smoke coming out of front of his car. "I suppose that was **my** _last ride_."


	27. Mails, penguins, caterpillars and dreams

**Inspired by:** Weird mails between me and my niece

**Claimer:** My niece Tally and I own these e-mails. They have been translated from Dutch to English, and there are only a _few_ things different from the original e-mails.  
So technically the first e-mail, by the Big Show, was written by my niece. She's insane in the mebrane.

* * *

_HI! MATT!_

_I am e-mailing you, but I'm sure you have noticed... How are you? I'm bored, I'm very bad at Mariokart, so now I'm angry. I'm hungry. I want chocolate, but we do not have a lot of chocolate... So. That's not good._

_In less than one hour I will be eating a salad.  
Yes.  
And after that I will eat icecream.  
Really?  
Yes.  
And than I will sit behind the computer -again-. And I might be less bored.  
Yes._

_I'm proposing to you without rings... Do you know why?  
Because I want your fingers that will point to myself. Yes. Does that sound logical?_

_Did I ever tell you I was a penguin? No? I am, because pinguins are very logical.  
Penguins are birds, therefore I am one too. Which is bad, because well, I could get the bird flu, and that is not very healthy!  
And than, if you point your fingers at myself, you will get it too! So I will not be a bird anymore... Yes._

_I have decided to send myself a copy of this e-mail, so it will look like I have recieved a mail too! Yes.  
You're asleep.  
I'm not.  
So you must be dreaming, unless you're awake.  
I HAD A DREAM LAST NIGHT!_

_I had an english exam, and I had to listen to a tape right? It was in dutch. Eh yeah.  
And it was about caterpillars, but I didn't pay attention, so when everyone was done I listened to the tape again!  
I know that's not realistic, but it's a dream._

_Realistic in ensurance._

_That was not in my dream, I would not want to confuse you!_

_In the meanwhile dinner is getting closer.  
That's because time passes by, not because the clock is closer to my head..._

_So I will put an end to this now._

_I will see you tonight, unless you get this mail later. In that case I'll see you yesterday!  
Goodbye kisses,xoxoxox,byebyebye-oskissesxoxox  
Paul Wight who's always right, cause he was born a... PENGUIN!  
_

Matt smirked and decided to reply right away... He was bored aswell, and e-mailing the Big Show was never a dull thing.

_Hello Big Showoff!_

_I am bored too, so I'm e-mailing back. You have just left, so yes, I will see you a few minutes ago!  
I have eaten all of Jeff's chocolate... Yes, before the easterbunny even had a chance to hide it!_

_My lord, I'm listening to this dutch song called 'Mooi Man' and it's awesome. You must have it too, even though it is not about caterpillars._

_Does a little dance with wooden shoes on_

_Anyway.  
I just had a vision of Mark with horns and a santa-clause costume on.  
Tell me, is this one of the signs that explain you suffer from schizophobia (Is fear of the insane)?  
Geez.  
You don't like to read,  
I do like to type,  
therefore you will read what I type, because you are my bestestest friend... Even though our friendship is just a dream..._

_W8 1 sec!  
If our friendship is just a dream, our trips to McDonalds are aswell... Now explain to me how my butt can grow from dreaming about fries? Matt no get okidoki? No._

_I'm listening to songs about boats now.  
Boats are great, because boats give us the opportunity to move across water without getting wet.  
And if it's freezing, and you're not wet but in a boat, you're hair will not freeze off!  
I've just realised you're bald... Do you think that is what happened to Kane?  
He went swimming, and his hair froze off? I think that's what it is..._

_Lord, my dried-out brain is so active on this heathen-hour..._

_I will leave now, because you do not like to read.  
I hope you read everything, if you have not, do it NOW!  
This mail by the way does not contain an important message.  
It was just to waste your time... Muahahahaha bwahaha and lolz._

_I'm sure I did a great job.  
Unless you didn't read it.  
In that case; Boo._

_Will see you later ho! Hoooooooooooooooooooope you sleep well!  
G'night, love and kissels,  
Matt_


	28. Gone to find myself

78 reviews is more than all the reviews of my other stories together. And than twice.  
_LOL._

**I'mma be nice and say thanks to:** Edward's Josie Black, Medieval Mystic, Vinnie K, Warrior from Beyond, Dark Kaneanite, CMPunksxXxGirl, Souless666, Heartbreak-Phenom, Ainat and WWEAngel for reviewing, reading and some of you for adding this story to whatever list aswell.  
My eternal gratitude eh!  
_Forgot you? Message me or come to the Netherlands to kick my butt._

**Inspired by:** One of my t-shirts...

* * *

"Have you seen Dylan?" Finlay asked the Great Khali.  
Khali shook his head. "You seen chicken?"  
"Glen still has it." Finlay said. "I'm going to look for Dylan."

Finlay and Hornswoggle had a tag-team match later that day, but he didn't know where Hornswoggle was. He was guessing he was hiding under the ring, like always, so Finlay decided to check there.

"Dylan?" He yelled while taking a look under the ring. "Hmmm, nothing." He mumbled to himself.  
"Ey, looking for a steel chair?" THE Brian Kendrick asked.  
"No, for Dylan..."  
Brian shrugged. "Close enough."

Finlay rolled his eyes but decided not to cross, or eh, shillelaghs with him. Brian wasn't nice, and he'd never be either, no matter how many times someone would try to pound some sense into him.

He continued the search, asking everyone if they had seen his 'son'.  
Most shook their heads or said something like 'How am I supposed to see him? I'm so tall, he's not so hard to miss.'  
Finlay sighed. They had a match against Rated RKO, and he wasn't planning on doing that by himself. Hornswoggle was needed, if only to carry around his shillelagh and throw steel chairs into the ring.

"Did you consider checking the lockerroom?" Tommy Dreamer said when he saw Finlay walk around aimlessly.  
"Eh no, I might..." He replied, making his way there.

When in the lockerroom Finlay looked around. He didn't find Hornswoggle, but he did find a note the little guy left.

_"David,  
I have gone to find myself... If I get back before I return, keep me here._

_Dylan."_


	29. Laws

**Inspired by:** My msn display pic.

* * *

"I'm telling you man, it's true!" Punk said annoyed. "Why would I lie?"  
"Because you're dumb." Regal replied. "You can not help it though, I forgive you."

Punk was trying to make make Regal believe that in Kentucky, it's the law that a person must take a bath once a year. And that was actually the truth, but Regal didn't believe it.

"It's not my fault you're British." Punk said. "Look it up on the internet."  
"Once a year? That's just gross..."  
"Hmpf, maybe that law should be in the British constitution too, you don't smell too pretty."  
"What?!" Regal yelled.  
"And you know what? Neither does James Bond, or the Queen. Did you know the Queen has a tendancy to eat slugs?"  
"Eh?"

Punk smirked and stalked off.  
_If you can't convince them, confuse them._


	30. Chatbox

**Inspired by:** Other chat-fics I wrote about DBZ, Rammstein and Final Fantasy on Quizilla lol. And by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch  
Haven't done this in monthsssssssss ;3

* * *

**KingOfKings:** Hello?  
**KingOfKings:** Eh, nobody here eh.  
**KingOfKings:** Why?  
**KingOfKings:** I don't know, Paul :(  
**KingOfKings:** _Waiting for Glen..._

_MarkyMark has entered the chatroom_

**KingOfKings:** Mark?  
**MarkyMark:** Yeah?  
**KingOfKings:** Omfg, where'd you leave the funky bunch?  
**MarkyMark:** Fuck you  
**KingOfKings:** Maybe some other time... Where's Glen?  
**MarkyMark:** Even if I knew I wouldn't tell you... You scare him  
**MarkyMark:** And you two creep people out.  
**MarkyMark:** Did you know I have my hat back?  
**KingOfKings:** No... Damnit, so I can't cosplay you anymore? (  
**MarkyMark:** And so it appears D

_EveHasLeft had entered the chatroom_

**EveHasLeft:** HEY!  
**MarkyMark:** Who're u?  
**EveHasLeft:** Adam!  
**MarkyMark:** No, I'm Mark, the deadman...  
**EveHasLeft:** I am Adam!  
**EveHasLeft:** I have realised that with Adam there should be Eve  
**EveHasLeft:** But I can't find her.  
**MarkyMark:** She ate the forbidden apple, she's in hell, with me.  
**MarkyMark:** No wait, she had reincarnated!  
**EveHasLeft:** Really?  
**MarkyMark:** I bet she's Carlito now  
**KingOfKings:** Lmao.

_KozLove has entered the chatroom_

**EveHasLeft:** That's not nice to say.  
**EveHasLeft:** HEY Russian man!  
**KozLove:** Hi.  
**MarkyMark**: I'm bored.  
**KozLove:** I have a gf now  
**EveHasLeft:** Really?! What's her name?!

_GlenBenton has entered the chatroom_

**KozLove:** It's Rain...  
**GlenBenton:** It's dry here.  
**KozLove:** My gf's name is Rain --  
**GlenBenton:** You have a woman?  
**GlenBenton:** Like OMG!  
**KingOfKings:** Glen?  
**GlenBenton:** Yeah?  
**KingOfKings:** What's with your name?  
**GlenBenton:** Benton is the singer of Deicide, a metalband... We share a name!  
**KozLove:** Benton?  
**GlenBenton:** No... Glen. Dumbass  
**KozLove:** Hmpf.  
**MarkyMark:** I like Deicide  
**KozLove:** What is Metal?  
**GlenBenton:** It's eh... Music.  
**KozLove:** Like Take That?  
**GlenBenton:** Yeah... Only they'd be dead  
**MarkyMark:** LMFAO  
**KingOfKings:** Lmao... Hey guys, I gotta go!  
**MarkyMark:** What a pity xD  
**KingOfKings:** Yeah. Shawn's here, and well, we're going out  
**KozLove:** Like me and Rain?  
**MarkyMark:** LMFAO XD  
**KingOfKings:** No, like Adam and Carlito  
**KingOfKings:** BYE!

_KingOfKings has left the chatroom_

**EveHasLeft:** What?  
**MarkyMark:** Gross... Gross visions of Adam and apples, and a tree... Gross, must wash out of head (((  
**GlenBenton:** What?  
**MarkyMark:** BRB.  
**KozLove:** Da  
**GlenBenton:** What?  
**KozLove:** Da is russian  
**EveHasLeft:** For what?  
**KozLove:** For eating apples when you're sitting under a tree, watching hippos  
**EveHasLeft:** WOW COOL!  
**GlenBenton:** Lmao.  
**MarkyMark:** Back  
**EveHasLeft:** Anyone seen Beth today?  
**GlenBenton:** NO! And I plan on keeping it that way!  
**MarkyMark:** You mad?  
**GlenBenton:** Unbelievably mad... :S  
**EveHasLeft:** Why?  
**KozLove:** Did she kick your ass too?  
**GlenBenton:** Much worse... I was taking a nap today right?  
**GlenBenton:** So when I woke up... I just did what I always do ...  
**MarkyMark:** Steal?  
**GlenBenton:** Yes... So I went to Paul's room, and on my way there...  
**GlenBenton:** Everyone I saw was laughing at me.  
**MarkyMark:** ?  
**GlenBenton:** So I was like; WHAT?! :O  
**EveHasLeft:** Uhu.  
**GlenBenton:** And than Beth said; Haha Glen, take a look in the mirror.  
**GlenBenton:** So I did right? I took a look in the mirror.  
**GlenBenton:** Cause I thought there was something on my face right?  
**EveHasLeft:** Hmmm and?  
**GlenBenton:** There was nothing on my face, so I was relieved... But than...  
**MarkyMark:** Yes? _Is waiting very patiently_  
**GlenBenton:** I turned around and caught a glimpse of the back of my head...  
**KozLove:** And?! :O  
**GlenBenton:** I found out she drew a smily face on it! :  
**EveHasLeft: **...  
**MarkyMark:** ...  
**KozLove:** WOW!  
**GlenBenton:** And it won't come off! Because it was with permanent marker!  
**MarkyMark:** LMFAO! Did you take a picture?  
**GlenBenton:** _Chokeslams Mark_  
**MarkyMark:** I'm coming to your room, I must see!! Hahaaaaa...!! :D :D XD  
**GlenBenton:** Hmpf, don't forget to take the funky bunch with you!  
**MarkyMark:** Asshole, be right there! Haha xD I will take my camera!

_MarkyMark has left the chatroom_

**EveHasLeft:** So, what's the problem?  
**GlenBenton:** Raw-night, how the hell am I supposed to threaten Rey with a smily-face on my head?  
**EveHasLeft:** Good point... Lmao I hope Mark's gonna send me the pictures  
**GlenBenton:** Must go, Mark here, must prevent him from taking pictures... BYE :\  
**KozLove:** Bye bye  
**EveHasLeft:** Lmao. Bye-os!

_GlenBenton has left the chatroom_

**Kozlove:** So, what now?  
**EveHasLeft:** Da?  
**KozLove:** I couldn't agree more.  
**EveHasLeft:** I'm going to find Eve  
**KozLove:** Carlito is JBL's room  
**EveHasLeft:** Hmpf. Bye Russian man  
**KozLove:** Goodbye.

_EveHasLeft has left the chatroom_

**KozLove:** I'm all alone now.  
**KozLove:** All alone in space and time '(  
**KozLove:** I must find better competition :

_KozLove has left the chatroom_


	31. Mission accomplished

I don't own right?  
Except for random OC's that might appear once every blue moon... And I think there might be some more of those chatthings, I love writing them.  
Might post the FF and DBZ-ones too sometime...

Inspired by: My Wrestlemania 22 DVD extras and JBL's hat.

* * *

Kane was waiting for JBL to leave his room, preferably without his hat. He had been waiting for almost an hour when JBL finally left his room.

He hid around the corner until JBL was out of sight, and entered the man's room. A bit confused about why JBL never locked it he shrugged and decided to do his thing.

"Ah." He mumbled. There was JBL's hat, on a small table next to the bed. He walked up to it, but when Kane reached the hat he suddenly heard footsteps coming his way.

"Dangit." Kane mumbled. To make sure JBL wouldn't see him he got behind the curtain and hid.

JBL stepped in, looking around. He forgot his carkeys and grabbed them from the same table as the hat was on.  
He turned around and saw the curtain moving. A bit weary he stepped closer to Curtain-Kane.

"Who are you?"  
The curtain moved but didn't speak.  
"I know someone's there, come on..."  
Kane sighed, making the curtain move even worse. "There's nobody here, just leave." He said with a squeeky voice.  
"Than how come I can hear you?"  
Kane spoke again. "Because I am the curtain, and I was cursed and now I can speak, but only to men with ugly faces."

_Eh Kane, that's not very nice, is it?_

"Glen?" JBL said.  
"No, Kane is not here." Kane squeeked.  
"Glen, come on."

Kane unrolled himself out of the curtain and stood in front of JBL, using his full lenght and scary expression to come across intimidating.

"What do you want?" JBL asked.  
Kane flashed a lighter in front of JBL's face. "I came... To take your soul!"  
"Eh?"  
"I eh, I mean to massacre you." Kane said, cursing himself for stealing Taker's lines.  
"But why?" JBL asked.  
"The time has come."

While talking to JBL Kane moved closer to the bedside table, and when he was close enough he grabbed the hat.

"First I will massacre your hat, and you're next!" He threatened JBL.

The Big Red Machine suddenly made a leap onto the bed and ran away, into the hallway.

"Got it?!" Triple H yelled from afar.

He saw Kane coming his way and caught the hat Kane threw at him. "Hide it!" Kane yelled while running the opposite way from The King of Kings.

JBL followed Kane and when he finally caught up with the man he found out the hat was long gone.  
Kane smirked his sexy smirk and shrugged. "Your hat is gone, and you're next!" He started to walk towards JBL, with big steps.

"Oh whatever, I'll buy a new one... Later Glen!"  
JBL walked away and looked around a few times to see if Kane was following him.  
The third time Kane suddenly disappeared and he sighed with relief.

In the meanwhile Triple H received a phonecall.

"Paul here."  
"Got the hat?"  
"Yep, mission accomplished."


	32. Shawns huge revelation

Inspired by: All dem pretty gals whoohoo. (I can not help it, blame Katy Perry and Amanda Palmer)

* * *

_"I kissed a girl and I liked it."_ Shawn Michaels sang happily. He danced around the hallway with a smirk on his face.

"I'm very happy for you." Jesse replied with a dry voice.

_"The taste of her cherry chapstick."_ HBK continued, almost walking into a wall. "Haha." He laughed.

"It's like that's a very interesting thing to you." Jesse said.  
"It is!" HBK replied happily.

_"I kissed a girl just to try it, hope my boyfriend don't mind it!"_

HBK kept on dancing, and smiling like a madman.

"Haha, that's n... Wait... What?!"


	33. Finish the Sentence 3

Inspired by: That old game I used to play when I was like, 12.  
It's back! :D

* * *

"Let's play!" MVP clapped his hands, in anticipation of his favorite game.  
"Play what?" Stone Cold asked.  
"Finish the Sentence?" Edge asked.  
MVP nodded. "Are y'all in for it?"

Some nodds. Apparently everyone was in for it again.

"Okay, here goes... Everyone knows the rules?"  
Most nodded, only Stone Cold looked blank.  
"Paul?" MVP asked.  
The Cerebral Assasin smiled. "Well, there's this paper, that has sentences on it. The first person finishes the first sentence, and folds the paper in a way the next person can't read what he wrote..." He paused. "Than the next person finishes the next sentence and folds it too, so it's someone else's turn, and in the end, if all sentences are done, we get a nice story."

Stone Cold still looked confused, but they decided they'd tell him what to do when it was his turn.

**Today I...**  
sang a lot of song.

**I did that because...**  
I need better competition!

**I did this at/on...  
** MSN!

**And I did it because...**  
Nobody knew I'm Rey Mysterio!

**While I did this I was eating...**  
Mr. Crooked haha bwahaha!

**Than someone made me...**  
Find my inner talent... Hmmmm

**Someone made me do this because...**  
I kept saying yes on every question that day anyway. Ugh

**During the last thing I decided to...**  
To take a spin in my car, and crash it!!

**Which wasn't that bad, because...**  
I own a pair of wooden shoes.

**I really hate to search for...**  
Well, Dylan!

**So I started to...**  
Confuse Regal

**A day later I...**  
Went to chat with someone

**Because I wanted...**  
Kane to give me my hat back!!

**But in the end...**  
We all kissed a girl and we liked it!


	34. Why he would never win

People really love Finish the Sentence eh? Funny... ;)

**Inspired by:** Mr. Kennedy's entrance.

* * *

Mr. Kennedy was a great fan of playing hide and seek. Whenever he was the 'seeker' he would always win.  
He was fast, smart and knew everything about great places to hide.

The only sad thing was that he never won whenever he was the one to hide.

"I'll count, and all of you will hide." The Phenom said bored.  
Nodds.

The Undertaker, Mr. Kennedy, John Cena, Randy Orton, Beth Phoenix, Melina and Mark Henry were so bored, they'd play anything.  
Anything but finish the sentence that is, they were out of ideas for sentences. It's a sad thing.

"One, two, three... Go now Mr. Kennedy...  
Four, five, six... What rhymes with six?  
Seven, eight, nine... I need a better line...  
TEN!"

The Undertaker started to search. Soon enough he found Cena and Orton hiding up in a tree.  
"Come down, you have been found." Taker said, still bored.

He searched some more. Mark Henry wasn't hard to find, as he tried to hide behind Rey Mysterio.  
"Dude, try harder next time." He said.  
Henry was covering his eyes with his hands. "I can not see you, therefore you can not see me." He said.  
"And yes, you need to go back to school." Taker sighed.

He continued the search again.  
He found the Glamazon hiding in Triple H's closet, along with the Great Khali's chicken and a lot of masks, hats and other strange things.  
He found Melina hiding under the ring, and there was only one person left.

The Undertaker smirked. He was sure he was going to win this round, simply because of one thing.

"Hailing from Greeeen Baaaay Wiiiscooooonsiiiiiiiin." He yelled through the hallway.  
Mr. Kennedy, who heard this because he was hiding in a broomcloset bit on his fist.  
"Miiiiiiisteeeeeeeeeeeeeer." Taker wasn't done yet.  
Mr. Kennedy was having a hard time. Taker would never find him, if he could just... fight... the... urge.  
"KENNEDY!" Taker's voice echoed through the hallway.

Silence for a few seconds, because Mr. Kennedy himself always liked to build up some tension.

Suddenly he lost it. It was too hard to fight the urge, too hard to remain quiet and win this game of hide and seek.

Taker smirked when he heard a yell coming from behind a closetdoor.

"KENNEDY!" Mr. Kennedy yelled. He had to, he just had to, because nobody in the WWE was allowed to make his second 'Kennedy'.

He knew it, Taker knew it, and Taker opened the door.  
"Found ya!"

So now you know why Mr. Kennedy will never ever win Hide and Seek when he's one of the hiders.


	35. All the hard work

I've noticed I'm starting to put superstars in I don't even like, like Cena, Orton, JBL, Carlito and so on.  
Hm, can't make every chapter about the Brothers of Destruction, can I?

**Inspired by:** My lighter.

**Note:** The Great Khalis chicken was not harmed during the writing of this fic.

* * *

"It's a disaster."  
H nodded. "It's worse than... Well... Losing a Pokemon game."  
"It's the worst that could ever happen to us."  
"Maybe we shouldn't play with pyrotechnics anymore?" H suggested.  
"All our hard work... My hard work... All gone in a matter of seconds."

Triple H and the Big Red Machine stood silently as they watched the flames eat away all of their masks, hats, and other things they stole.

"I should never cosplay my own entrance anymore." Kane said.  
"Good idea." H agreed.  
"But now..." Kane hugged himself, because he was so sad. "Now we will have to steal these things all over again."  
"Yep."  
"It was so much work..." Kane said, more to himself than to his best friend.  
"I know."  
"How are we going to explain this?" Kane asked.  
Triple H shrugged. "We say someone else did it."  
"Who?"  
"Cena."  
Kane nodded. "Let's get some buckets of water before we burn the whole place down."

H and Kane put out the fire, and stared at the wet remains a bit emotional.

"Hey, look at the bright side!" The King of Kings said.  
"What?"  
"We will be eating chicken tonight!"


	36. Knock Knock

Over **100** reviews, over 3000 hits. I'm a _happy_ fanfic-writer, yes I am.

**Enough.**

**Inspired by:** My brother xD He made it up.  
Shortest one yet!

* * *

Vickie looked up when she heard her phone ring.  
_'Break the walls down.'_

Vickie picked up her phone.  
"Hello?"  
"Knock knock..." The mystery man said.  
"Who's there?" Vickie asked.  
"I'mmataker..."  
"Taker who?"  
"I'mma take your soul... Bwahahaha muahahaha haha haha ha-ha."

_Beep... beep... beep..._


	37. MSN and Machinery

Author's note: From now on, if I do not update for a few days you can read this in my bio... I too get writer's blocks and have bad days.

Inspired by: Dragonball Z

* * *

**Kane Kan't Kook says:**  
What happens when the bell rings?

**When the bell rings... says:**  
I go nuts.

**Kane Kan't Kook says:**  
Why?

**When the bell rings... says:**  
It'sa long story.

**Kane Kan't Kook says:**  
I like stories )

**When the bell rings... says:  
**You know Jesse?

**Kane Kan't Kook says:**  
... Eh yeah

**When the bell rings... says:**  
well he always makes dinner right? For me. And you know, one time he started to ring a bell during dinner...

**Kane Kan't Kook says:  
**Why?

**When the bell rings... says:**  
And every time he rang the bell, he'd take my plate away when I wasn't even finished yet!

**Kane Kan't Kook says:  
**Gasp

**When the bell rings... says:**  
So I got mad, because I too need food.

**Kane Kan't Kook says:**  
I know

**Kane Kan't Kook says:**  
Why'd he do that?

**When the bell rings... says:**  
Well, Jesse watches too much Dragonball Z

**Kane Kan't Kook says:**  
O-kay...

**When the bell rings... says:  
**And he thinks I'm a Saiyan

**Kane Kan't Kook says:**  
A what?

**When the bell rings... says:**  
An alien with a tail that is really strong and turns yellow when he's mad

**Kane Kan't Kook says:**  
I've never seen you turn yellow.

**When the bell rings... says:**  
I know, but Jesse wants me to, so he makes me angry right? and now every time I hear a bell I go mad

**Kane Kan't Kook says:**  
That still doesn't explain everything

**When the bell rings... says:**  
Jesse thinks someday I will turn into a super-saiyan

**Kane Kan't Kook says:**  
what will happen when you do?

**When the bell rings... says:**  
I'll kill you

**Kane Kan't Kook says:**  
Hmpf, like that'll ever happen o.O'

**When the bell rings... says:  
**Everytime you hear a bell ring you should run for your life Glen

_SCSA has been added to the conversation_

**Kane Kan't Kook says:**  
Steve, Festus thinks he's an alien

**SCSA says:**  
And you base that on what?

**Kane Kan't Kook says:**  
He thinks someday he'll turn yellow and kill me

**SCSA says:**  
when the bell rings?

**When the bell rings... says:**  
Yep, I'll turn into a fighting machine

**Kane Kan't Kook says:**  
But... I'm a machine already

**SCSA says:  
**me 2!!1

**Kane Kan't Kook says:**  
only i am a machine

**SCSA says:  
**I'm a dancemachine, you're a big red machine... I mean, what do big red machines do? do they dance? No! Do they fight? NO! Do they bake cookies? NO! Do they do anything at all? NO. All you do is be big and red

**When the bell rings... says:**  
we could form an alliance, the 3 of us!!

**Kane Kan't Kook says:**  
Shup up steve, at least you womt see me dancen!

**SCSA says:  
**what?

**When the bell rings... says:**  
an alliance of machinery. glen is red, I'm insane and scsa is eh... well you know

**SCSA says:**  
what?

**Kane Kan't Kook says:  
**oh Lord here we go again

**SCSA says:**  
what?

**Kane Kan't Kook says:**  
I made my point

**When the bell rings... says:**  
we can tag together and we'll call ourselves... eh... well Machinery!

**SCSA says:**  
Oh okay, Can I dance?

**Kane Kan't Kook says:**  
I'm not tagging with you 2!

**SCSA says:**  
why not?

**When the bell rings... says:**  
NO NO NO! we can be the 'Robotic Brothers'!

**Kane Kan't Kook says:**  
I'm already a brother of destruction

_Where's Chicken? has been added to the conversation_

**When the bell rings... says:**  
Dalip are you a machine too?

**Where's Chicken? says:**  
GLEN! Where's chicken?

**Kane Kan't Kook says:**  
Dead, and enough with the machines!

**Where's Chicken? says:**  
I want a new chicken from you

**Kane Kan't Kook says:**  
Okidoki

**Where's Chicken? says:**  
Okbye

_Where's Chicken? has left the conversation_

**When the bell rings... says:  
**I must be going too

**SCSA says:**  
BYE!

**When the bell rings... says:**  
Run Glen, run like Forrest Glen whenever you hear a bell... It's the bells of doom, announcing your death!

_When the bell rings... has left the conversation_

**SCSA says:**  
When did Festus become so... deep?

**Kane Kan't Kook says:**  
beats me

**SCSA says:  
**definitely, when the bell rings

**Kane Kan't Kook says:**  
I'm leaving too

**SCSA says:**  
y?

**Kane Kan't Kook says:**  
cause I gotta ... yeah

**SCSA says:**  
go to the bathroom?

**Kane Kan't Kook says:**  
that too, and steal

**SCSA says:**  
what you gonna steal? from who?

**Kane Kan't Kook says:  
**guess.

**SCSA says:**  
something from Festus?

**Kane Kan't Kook says:**  
yep

**SCSA says:**  
What?

**Kane Kan't Kook says:**  
His facial expression


	38. Tribute, a true story

NO OWN! Except for the fic itself, and the 'song' lol.

Inspired by: WWE DUH

* * *

"Hello. I wrote a new song." Batista said, while standing on a stage. "It's my tribute to all of my best friends."  
Sighs here and there, a few snickers and a few people just staring, wondering what had gotten into the Animal.  
"I will play the piano and sing it for you."

Batista sat down behind a piano and sighed.  
"This is 'Tribute, a true story'." He said.

He started playing.

_"Stone Cold is the coolest,  
he dances like a doll.  
Taker is the creepiest,  
he's coming for my soul._

_The Glamazon is sexy,  
she's as pretty as the stars.  
Cena is the most annoying,  
he gave me many scars._

_Oh the tribute, it's all a true story,  
my friends, they are the best.  
I wish they wouldn't fight this much,  
and put me to tha test._

_Mr. Kennedy is just too loud,  
he only yells at me.  
Stone Cold is still the coolest,  
'cause he has a metal knee._

_The Big Show is the largest,  
and most intimidating of them all,  
but he's also the one that when I'm sad,  
I will definitely call._

_Kane is the biggest criminal,  
he steals everything he sees,  
but he could not hold a candle,  
to Stone Cold with his metal knees._

_Oh the tribute, it's all a true story,  
my friends, they are the best.  
I wish they wouldn't fight this much,  
and put me to tha test._

_Oh and Big Daddy V, Viscera,  
I see a hero in you,  
'cause you're the largest lovemachine,  
and I've experienced that's true_

_Oh the tribute, it's all a true story,  
my friends, they are the best.  
I wish they wouldn't fight this much,  
and put me to tha test."_

"Enough with the machines already!" Kane yelled annoyed. He got up stage aswell and grabbed Batista's microphone.

_"I'm Kane and the only machine around,  
If you don't agree I will burn you all down to the ground.  
My brother will have your soul, I will steal your things,  
and in the end it will be me who sings."_

Batista smiled widely. Finally... "Ladies en gentlemen, Glen has found his inner talent!"


	39. Futuresight

**Inspired by:** Nothing, I'm just BORED!

* * *

I am Shawn Michaels and I have been given the gift of Futuresight.  
My friend Paul 'Triple H' Levesque would say I've been playing his Pokemon-game too much. I think it's true.

Every single night I have a dream about one of the people I work with. Up until now I have had six dreams, six dreams telling me what will become of my friends when they retire.  
Since I want everyone to know what will happen in the (near) future I will share my dreams with you.

_Triple H._  
I had a dream about Paul eating a lot of cookies. And when I say a lot, I mean a lot!  
He had a grey beard and a huge moustache. With cookiecrumbs, yes.  
He will have a total of ten children, and each of them will have to work two jobs to make sure he has plenty of cookies.  
He will die at the age of 100, because I will poison his cookies after he's asked me what my name is for the sixty-second time.

_John Cena.  
_John Cena will wrestle until he is 62. After that he retires and leads a happy life with Ken Kennedy, raising three children in a pipe.  
This because they will get stuck in pipes so many times they decide to move into one.  
Until the government needs the pipes back because they need new ways of supplying water. After that they'll just live in a cardboard box under a bridge.  
He will die during an earthquake, because the bridge will collapse and a motorcycle will fall on his head.

_The Undertaker._  
Mark will die, and go to hell. There he will defeat Satan by tombstone piledriving him into the ground.  
He will take over control and make everyone else in hell miserable by singing songs about driving cars.  
Which is okay, because in Mark's opinion everyone in hell should be miserable, because if they weren't it would be Heaven, just in a different place.

_The Great Khali._  
Dalip is going to be an actor. After his astounding role in 'The Longest Yard' Adam Sandler will put him in all of his movies.  
Dalip will die because Adam Sandler will make him do his own stunts in a movie called 'I'm no superhero, I'm a cokehead'. In this movie Dalip will have to use the coke and he dies because... Well, during this stunt Dalip thinks he can fly and jumps down a window. He wouldn't die because of that, but he did because he landed on well... a porcupine.

_Mr. Kennedy._  
As you know this loudmouth will raise children with John Cena in a pipe.  
He will live longer than Cena, up until the age of 267! He will die because Glen steals his life-support machine. A little later he is brought back to life by God himself, because He didn't want a loudmouth like that in Heaven.  
Maybe Mark will have him... Someday.

_Kane._  
Glen 'Kane' Jacobs will retire as soon as he's claimed the WWE-Championship, the World Heavyweight Championship, the Tag-team Championship, the Intercontinental Championship and the Cruiserweight Championship from which nobody understands how it was possible.  
He will steal the belts and move in with Triple H. He will be annoyed by Triple H's cookie-obsession and start a store in which he will sell every single thing he has ever stolen.  
He will become the richest man on the planet, and he will never die because well, Kane is immortal. In the end Glen will accidently set the planet on fire and move to Planet Namek, together with Festus who is finally a Super-Saiyan.  
They'll live happily ever after.

That's it. I will tell you whenever I have more dreams or visions.


	40. Stuck 2

**Inspired by:** South Park.

* * *

"Did you never see that episode of South Park?" Taker asked to his 'brother.  
"No."  
"They were all in the closet, even Tom Cruise..."  
"Why?"  
"I dunno, is he in your closet?"  
Kane shook his head. "No, but Ken is, and the John's, and the Paul's, and Rey, Umaga and Dalip aswell."  
"How does that fit?"

Kane opened the closetdoor. "Just like that."

In the closet there were Mr. Kennedy, John Morisson, John Cena, Triple H, The Big Show, Rey Mysterio, Umaga and the Great Khali.

"Why are they in there?" The Deadman asked.  
"They wanted to see how many people could fit in my closet."  
"Why?"  
"I don't know."  
"Why aren't they coming out?"  
"Because they're stuck."  
Taker smirked. "I'm not surprised Ken and Cena are stuck, but... Why your closet?"  
Kane sighed. "Because Paul's caught on fire."  
"That makes sense."

"Hey, hey, hey, Glen, Glen tell me, do you have vaseline?" Ken asked.  
"Yeah, it's in the closet."

"Wait! Glen, dude, man, did you realise Rey's in the closet?" Umaga suddenly yelled.  
"Yes, I did."  
"And he's stuck too!" Umaga said.  
"Yep, I can see that..."  
"Now you can finally massacre him!"

Kane smirked his sexy smirk and decided that wouldn't be such a bad idea.  
"Finally, justice for everyone." He said. "Get me a lighter Mark."  
The Deadman grabbed a lighter from his pocket and gave it to Kane.  
"What ya gonna do?"  
"Take his advice."

Kane stepped closer to the closet and tried to set Rey on fire. He just didn't think about one thing...

"Holy baloney, we're all doing to die in here!" Umaga cried out.  
Suddenly there was movement in the closet. John Cena popped out when Rey started move around like nuts, and all of the WWE-superstars were free.  
"Damn you, damn you all to hell!" Triple H yelled when he was free. He was running around because his butt caught on fire.  
"Yeah I know..." Umaga said, cursing himself for giving Kane weird ideas. "Literally."


	41. Important things

I don't own WWE.  
Eh, I know some chappies are weird, but than again, so am I, so can't blame me.  
Must be a Dutch thing?

Dedicated to Edward's Josie Black again because of the many reviews.  
I can't stand the Rock, I'm sorry (except in that movie the Scorpion King lmbo) but here he is :p

* * *

"Hey hey listen, I'm busy, could you come back later?" The Rock asked.  
"No, I need to talk to you." Booker T said.  
"About what? I'm doing important things." The Rock sighed.  
"I eh... I lost my crown." Booker said.  
"What?"  
"I'm King Booker, and my crown is gone."  
"Ask Glen, he always knows where everything is."  
"Ooooooh? Okay... What are you doing?"  
"You know..." The Rock replies annoyed.  
"No. Tell me, what is so amazing that you can not even talk to the King?"  
"I wasn't talking to Jerry Lawler."  
"Eh?"  
"Do you know what the Rock is cooking??"

Silence.

"Tell me!" Booker T finally said, very curiously, because the Rock was making such a fuss about.  
"Chickensoup!"


	42. She fell for him right away

**Inspired by:** Old fic I wrote years ago.  
I own Rain Whoohoo I own someone.

* * *

Kozlov entered the hallway some WWE-stars were standing in.

"This is my girlfriend." He said to Kane, pointing to a young woman with red hair and strange blue eyes.  
"I'm Glen." Kane said to the girl.  
She shook his hand. "Rain."  
"So... How'd you two meet?" Kane asks Kozlov.

Rain snickered and stared at her newfound lover, wondering if he'd tell the true story.

"Well... You know..." Kozlov started. "I was lost right?"  
Kane nodded.  
"And I wanted to go home, but I was lost, so I couldn't find my car back..."  
Kane made some understanding sounds.  
"So I saw a bicycle..."  
"You saw a bicycle... That doesn't explain one thing."  
"So I stole the bicycle because I was tired of walking, and well, I saw Rain."  
Kane smiles. "Love at first sight?"  
"Not really, but she fell for me right away!"  
"She did?" Kane asks confused.  
"Yes, because when I stole it..."  
Rain finishes Kozlov's sentence, "I was still on the bicycle!"

I'm losing my touch. Or no, I'm running out of ideas. I should've done 50 instead of 101. Damnit.  
Listen, I completely understand not every single chapter is hilarious, but than again, is there anyone that can make every single thing extremely funny? We don't all share the same sense of humor.  
So if you do encounter a sucky chapter, which you will, live with it. There's always a new one after it, so wait and see.  
Unless it's chapter 101 xD In that case, excuse me!


	43. Knock Knock 2

I'm sorry it took me like, 2 whole days. I was doing something important, playing Suikoden II for the 10th. time xD It's so addicting!!

Plus, thanks to the kind words in the last few reviews, I really appreciate it!!

Inspired by: my brother once again.

* * *

John Cena stared at his phone as it started to ring.  
_'My name is Finlay, and I looove to fight.'_

"Yellow?" He answered.  
"Knock knock..." The other person said.  
"Who's there?" Cena asked.  
"Mister."  
"Mister who?"  
"Misteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrr... KENNEDY!"  
"Ken, listen, I hate it when you..."  
"KENNEDY!"

_Beep... beep... beep..._


	44. Suikoden II

I was asked more HBK. So, here ya go.  
Got a request? Make it! Don't expect too much though.

Dun dun dunnnnnn **inspired by**: Suikoden II, because I've been playing it for hours and hours and it's all that's left in the grey mass inside of my head (I do not mean dust).

* * *

Triple H did something nobody'd ever expect. He told HBK about his biggest obsession; Video Games.

"I bought a Playstation." He said to Shawn.  
"Oh really?"  
"Yeah!" Triple H was quite happy with it.  
"A PSone?"  
"Yeah... 'Cause it's old-skool and and I like old-skool..."  
"What ya playing?"

Triple H was trying to kill a giant blue mouse-like creature with six weird puppets. They were doing stuff with fire and lightning and Shawn had no idea what he was looking at.

"Suikoden II."  
"What?" Shawn asked.  
"Suiko... Eh, want to try?"

Shawn nodded happily and put his hat down on a table in the room. A bit too casual if you ask me.  
He sat down and tried to play the game. He got the hang of it and soon enough forgot about everything around.

"Glen? Paul here, distraction succesfull." He whispered into his phone.  
"Really?"  
"Time to play the real game."

Triple H snuck to Shawn's hat and grabbed it.

"It's Chavo hahaha!" Shawn said happily. "Chavo!"  
"ChaCo!" H said annoyed. Chavo... Who would put Chavo in a game?  
"Hahaha, Chavo. Haha. GenGen. TuTa. They have strange names." He mumbled smirking. "Can I borrow this game sometime? Paul?" Shawn turned around, only to be faced with...

Nothing?

"Paul? What are you... Hey! Where's my hat? Damnit Paul, if you don't give me my hat back I will..."

H was long gone, all he heard was mumbling coming from his room, because Shawn was yelling at him.

"Mission accomplished." He said when Kane appeared.  
"You're a pro man..."


	45. An ABC for Kane

Inspired by: Some ABC I had to make one day for someone. Ugh.

* * *

Kane smiled. It was his birthday, and instead of buying Kane something everyone decided to make him an ABC. Simply because there wasn't anything left to buy for him, he already stole everything anyway.

Sadly enough some of the superstars were having a hard time letting go of the past...

_A is for Abnormal, the way you were born,  
B is for Breakfast, without that you are forlorn  
C is for Chicken, you stole it and I'll hate you always,  
D is for Damnation, remembers us of you in the old days._

_E is for Everything, everything in the planet you stole,  
F is for Food, you stuff it in that big, black hole.  
G is for the Game, you bestest friend on this Earth,  
H is for a Hundred pennies, more you are not worth._

_I is for Insane, we've never seen you otherwise,  
J is for joking, for that you will not win a price.  
K is for Kane, your alter-ego we so much fear,  
L is for Love, something you'll never find my dear._

_M is for Masks, there's still so many of 'em out there,  
N is for Nintendo DS, the only thing you handle with care.  
O is for Occasion, you never pick the right one,  
P is for Playtime, and I'm glad we're over halfway done._

_Q is for Quality, something you do not provide,  
R is for Red, your true colors you will not hide.  
S is for Stealing, the greatest hobby of yours,  
T is for Taker, that scary brother hiding behind doors?! (Wtf guys? I can't rhyme!)_

_U is for Undertaker, here he comes again,  
V is for V... Wait, I don't know any words with V's? Va... I dunno !!  
W is for Whatever, I don't care about this ABC,  
X is for... Why did you give me the hard letter? Is it because I'm Russian? Happy B-day Glen!!_

_Y is for You, for you we're writing of asses off,  
and Z is for nothing, but we did this thing with all our love._

_Happy Birthday Glen,  
xx PAUL!, Paul W, Dalip, KozLove, Shawn, Beth, Mark, Cena, Orton, Carlito Apple, Umaga and John M._


	46. Deadliest Catch

**Inspired by:** that time I watched 'Deadliest Catch' on discovery channel and said the same thing The Rock will say at the end. I talk to the tv too. All the time.

* * *

"What're ya watching?" The Rock asked Edge.  
"Deadliest Catch." Edge replied bored.  
"Oh, what's it about?"  
"Crabfishing."  
"Hmmmm crab, I could cook that someday... I'll watch with you."  
"Damnit."

Nobody, and when I say nobody I mean nobody, liked to watch tv with the Rock, simply because he talked to the tv.

"Dude, you look stoopid." The Rock said to the guy on tv that was wearing some water-resistant suit.  
"You'd look stupid in that aswell." Edge replied annoyed.  
"I would never look stupid in anything."  
"Pfuh..."  
"Oh my, what are they doing?"  
"They're crabfishing, as I said before..." Edge wished he could switch the Rock on and off, just like his tv.  
"Hmmm... Those things are pretty big."

A big crab appeared on the screen. The Rock gasped and grabbed one of Edge's pillows as if the crab could make it's way through the tv.

"Ho-ly Crab dude!"


	47. Kozlov Knows Best part 1 outta 2

**Inspired by**: Nothing. I'm not inspired at all, so this is the easiest way out...

I just start, and something will come out somehow. Hopefully.

**Kozlove**: Hello?  
**  
Kozlove**: Oh nobody's here yet.

**Kozlove:** Still alone in space and time

_  
HOGAN has entered the chatroom_

**  
HOGAN: **hi

**Kozlove:** Hello

**HOGAN:** Who are you?

**Kozlove:** Kozlov, I demand better competition

**HOGAN:** It's not up to you to demand things

**Kozlove:** Shut up dumbass

**HOGAN**: what? :O

**Kozlove:** I demand better competition, and if you don't like it you can stick your feather boa where the sun don't shine.

**HOGAN**: but where does the sun not shine?

**Kozlove**: ... Eh on eh...

**HOGAN:** HA!

**Kozlove**: You're not the smartest cookie in the jar are you?

**HOGAN**: Hogan knows best...

**Kozlove:** Hogan knows best my ass

**HOGAN:** huh?

**Kozlove:** And there you have it, the place where the sun don't shine

**HOGAN**: what?

**Kozlove:** Oh lord...

**HOGAN:** So who are you?

_  
Bubbahhh has entered the chatroom_

**  
Bubbahhh**: HEY! ;D ;D ;D

**HOGAN: **hi

**Kozlove**: hello

**Bubbahhh:** Have you seen my friend? O

**Kozlove:** Aren't you bald?

**Bubbahhh:** That depends. O

**HOGAN:** on what?

**Bubbahhh**: On what place he means. xD

**Kozlove**: oh lord... -.-

**HOGAN:** we saw no friend

**Kozlove: **Nope, I'm still alone in space and time, with two old weird ex-wwe-ers

**HOGAN: **who are you?

**Kozlove:** oh shut up

**Bubbahhh:** don't be mean, be nice, be happy, be bubba-like bright! D

**Kozlove:** HOGAN is bright... As in brightly-colored, he's not the brightest when it comes to other things

**HOGAN**: Hogan knows best

**Kozlove: **Kozlov knows best

**Bubbahhh:** Bubba's brightest books become blue bastards

**Kozlove:** I must agree

**Bubbahhh**: D I like you

**Kozlove:** I;m flattered. ahem

_CMPothead has entered the chatroom_

**  
CMPothead**: Yo!

**Kozlove:** Finally a friendly face

**CMPothead**: Thanks!! :D

**HOGAN: **I have a friendly face aswell

**Kozlove: **You look like a walrus on steroids

**HOGAN:** Exactly!

**Bubbahhh:** A walrus is nice, they are never cold! D

**HOGAN: **Exactly

**CMPothead**: Eh...

**Bubbahhh:** CM Punk? O

**CMPothead:** yes?

**Bubbahhh**: Are you not straightedge? )

**CMPothead:** I am not Edge, neither do I know if he is straight

**CMPothead**: I have my doubts about that

**Kozlove: **lmfao

**Bubbahhh:** I mean, are you not against drugs?

**CMPothead**: eh, I'm not against anything, because once you're against something, some will be against you

**Bubbahhh:** Like against my brother?

**CMPothead:** I don't know, but yes

**Bubbahhh:** )

**Kozlove**: I'm confused...

_GlenDanzig has entered the chatroom_

**  
CMPothead:** OMFG GLEN DANZIG OMFG I LOVE YOUR MUSICCCCC!! ARGH

**GlenDanzig**: Chill out

**CMPothead: **OMG I love that song 'Mother' you know?

**GlenDanzig:** It's me, Glen Jacobs, not Glen Danzig, or Glen Benton, or Glen Close or any other Glen on this planet

**CMPothead:** Who's Glen Jacobs?

**CMPothead:** Are you a wwe-fan?

**Kozlove:** Punk, it's just Kane

**CMPothead:** Oh

**GlenDanzig:** JUST Kane? JUST? J-U-S-T? As in; nothing more?

**Kozlove: **Err...

**CMPothead:** why would u call urself Glen?

**GlenDanzig: **cause it's mii name aiight?

**CMPothead:** aiight.

**CMPothead:** Did I not tag with you?

**HOGAN:** HEY!

**CMPothead:** what?

**HOGAN: **I'm feeling ignored

**Kozlove:** Like you're all alone in space and time?

**HOGAN**: YAH!

**Kozlove: **good for you

**CMPothead:** But Kane, why do you call yourself GlenDanzig?

**Kozlove:** He has an identity crisis. He knows how to be Kane, but he's realised he's not Kane, he's just Glen Jacobs... However he does not know how to act like Glen Jacobs so...

**Kozlove:** So he chooses any other Glen to see what it's like to be them...

**Kozlove**: He wants to feel glen again

**Bubbahhh:** Wow... You are very smart are you not?

**Kozlove:** I posess this thing called 'common sense'.

**Bubbahhh:** Me too, but not today!

**Bubbahhh:** bubba must go, breed black bears by breaking bows

**Kozlove**: Gesundheit

**Bubbahhh:** THANKS LIKEWISE! D D D I like you Kozlove, we must be friends

**Kozlove:** Okidoki skipper

**Bubbahhh:** Bubbah go byebye berries!

**Kozlove:** Bye

**HOGAN:** Later dude

**GlenDanzig:** bye? ... eh? O

**CMPothead:** LATER ALLIGATOERTA... eh wait, how do you call those crocodiles again?

_  
Bubbahhh has left the chatroom_

**  
CMPothead:** I should be leaving too

**Kozlove:** you're leaving me with them?

**GlenDanzig:** Them? as in _them_? T-H-E-M them, as in ; whyyyyyyy? I don't like Kane and Hogan them?

**Kozlove:** Exactly

**CMPothead:** bye-os, good luck with your crisis GlenKaneDanzigJacobs, bye HOGAN and bye Kozlov, catch ya lter

**Kozlove**: bye...

**GlenDanzig:** I am not part of the 'them'!

**GlenDanzig:** oh k bye bye

* * *

TO BE CONTINUED! Had I done it in one chappie it would be too long.  
Note: Glen Danzig is the singer of Danzig, and the Misfits if I'm correct... He kinda looks like John Morisson. But old. Lol.

Thanks for the many reviews again, I appreciate it. Keep an eye on my bio if you're wondering why I'm not updating every day.

Ella, Triple T, the one with the ice-tea.


	48. Kozlov Knows Best part 2 outta 2

_**Part 2!**_

* * *

**Kozlove:** Soooo... what do we do now?

**GlenDanzig:** Sulk

**Kozlove:** why?

**GlenDanzig**: I'm _just _Kane, and with 'them'

**Kozlove: **weirdo

**GlenDanzig**: Pfffff, come to Raw and I will show you the true meaning of weird

**HOGAN**: ewwww! xD

**Kozlove:** _sighs_

**Kozlove:** I have just realised something

**HOGAN:** what?

**Kozlove:** I have started this website and own this chat

**GlenDanzig**: your point?

**Kozlove: **allow me to show you...

_Kozlove has banned HOGAN from the chatroom_

**  
GlenDanzig:** LMFAOOOOO

**Kozlove:** heh, lol. he was annoying me

**GlenDanzig:** what do we do now?

**Kozlove:** don't know, where are mark and paul? and other paul? and umaga?

**GlenDanzig**: mark is buying hats, paul L is shawn's, paul w is matt's and Umaga is in Brasil

**Kozlove:** buuh, I'm bored

**GlenDanzig**: Wanna cosplay?

**Kozlove:** you let me cosplay with ya?

**GlenDanzig:** yeah, but only if you never say 'Just Kane' again, and I only have Shawn's hat and Ken's microphone since the closetfire

**Kozlove:** tomorrow and i wanna be shawn! and thanks, you're not 'just Kane', you're KANE!! bwahahaha or something

_  
My-My-Microphone has entered the chatroom_

**  
My-My-Microphone:** what's up

**Kozlove:** Ken why are you here

**My-My-Microphone:** my mic is gone

**GlenDanzig**: guess who has it

**My-My-Microphone:** you do, I know. it's my mic

**GlenDanzig:** Finders keepers

**My-My-Microphone:** then where'd you find it?

**GlenDanzig**: in a safe in your room with three locks on it

**My-My-Microphone:** dude...

**Kozlove:** lmfao

**GlenDanzig:** I'm very skilled

**My-My-Microphone:** now hardly anybody hears me when I yell my name

**Kozlove:** Which is fine since we all know your name already

**My-My-Microphone: **I'm not done yelling until at least 7 billion people know it

**Kozlove:** there's not that many people on this planet

**My-My-Microphone:** there's not?

**GlenDanzig:** you really are smart

**Kozlove:** Kozlov knows best

**GlenDanzig: **I vow for that

**My-My-Microphone:** when will I get it back?

**GlenDanzig: **once I'm done recording a country song with my band

**My-My-Microphone:** that's never!

**GlenDanzig:** Exactly

_  
Cold has entered the chatroom_

**  
Cold**: hey

**GlenDanzig**: austin

**Kozlove:** are you cold?

**Cold: **yes, I am freezing my ass off

**Kozlove: **in that case I suggest you'd wear pants

**My-My-Microphone:** he can't

**GlenDanzig**: huh?

**Cold:** my house burned down, i don't have anything left but this computer, because it's fire-resistant and made of sand

**My-My-Microphone:** Really?

**Cold**: no, I stole it

**GlenDanzig:** yeahhhh

**My-My-Microphone:** stealing is hard...

**GlenDanzig:** he's learning it from a pro!

**Cold**: I saw this show right, and this guy kept saying 'lemme hold a dollar'

**Kozlove:** and?

**Cold**: I dunno, that's all I saw before the tv caught fire

**Kozlove**: o-kay...

**Cold:** glen, I'm coming

**My-My-Microphone:** how? in the cold your thingie goes so small...

**GlenDanzig:** Kozlov, remember what you did to hogan?

**Kozlove**: at your service

_  
Kozlov has banned My-My-Microphone from the chatroom_

**  
Cold: **I'm impressed, Glen be there in 5, later!

**GlenDanzig:** see ya man

_  
Cold has left the chatroom_

**  
Kozlove: **steve gonna be there in 5 minutes?

**GlenDanzig:** years, he lives in the Netherlands now, and he has to walk because his planetickets burned too

**Kozlove**: that's across the ocean

**GlenDanzig:** I know... I hope he can swim.

**Kozlove**: lolz

**GlenDanzig**: I gotta sleep soon, if you see paul L tell him he should stop stealing my nintendo ds

**Kozlove**: will do bye man

**GlenDanzig:** bye bye

_  
GlenDanzig has left the chatroom_

**  
Kozlove: **Damnit, I'm alone again

**Kozlove:** I am addicted to chatrooms

**Kozlove:** I must find better competition...

_  
Kozlove has left the chatroom_


	49. Lemme hold that for ya

Still no own you know...

**Inspired by: **Everybody hates Chris xD

* * *

"I can't find it." Taker said to Kane.  
"Can't find what?"  
"Can't find my pants."

Now you know what the Undertaker is wearing... Or maybe what he isn't wearing.

"So... Weirdo, you look stupid wearing only a hat and boxers." Kane said smirking.  
"Hmmm, can't put the hat on the ground, it'll get dirty."  
"Ah, lemme hold it for ya."

Taker smiled and gave Kane the hat so he could go back to searching for his pants.

In the meanwhile Kane silently snuck off, while his 'brother' wasn't paying attention.

"Heh, found it." Undertaker said, holding up the pants. "Eh... wait... Glen?"  
Foley walked in. "What's wrong?"  
"Glen took off with my hat again."  
"Really?" Foley said smirking.  
"He said he'd hold it so I could look for my pants, and he took off with it!"  
Foley nodded. "So he said 'Let me hold it for you'?"  
Taker nodded.  
"Don't you ever watch tv?"  
"Eh?" Taker was confused.  
"Okay Mark, lemme hold a dollar."

The Undertaker gave Mick a dollar, and Mick took off aswell, with the dollar.

"Wait, what? Eh..." Taker finally got the point. "Oh! Damnit."


	50. A is for Alakazam

**Inspired by:** The fact I'm obsessed with Pokemon Pearl once againnnnn

* * *

"Okay, so the person who wins gets to play Pokemon Pearl for a whole week." Triple H said.  
Shawn nodded. "Okay, but if I don't win I do want it back after a week, you can't steal it."  
"Fine." H said.

They were trying to make a bet. They would say as much pokemon as they could thing of in alphabetical order, and the one that couldn't think of a pokemon anymore would lose. The game was on the table between them, waiting for a winner.

"You'll go first." Shawn said.

"Okay... A is for Alakazam!" H said.

"B is for Beedrill."

"C is for Charizard!"

"D is for Dugtrio!"

"E is for..." Triple H hesitated. "Entei..."

"F is for Flareon!" Shawn was on a roll.

"G is for Graveler."

"H is for Hoppip!"

"I is for Ivysaur."

"J is for Jolteon."

"K is for Koffingggg."

"L is for Lanturn."

"M is for Marowak."

"I love Marowak." Shawn said. "N is for Noctowl."

"O is for Onix."

"P is for Pikachu!!"

"Q is for Queen."

"Eh... Queen is not a pokemon." Shawn said. "So you lose."

"Queen is a pokemon, look it up on the internet!" Triple H said.

"Hmpf, I will."

Shawn stood up and walked to the computer. He found out queen is not a pokemon, and walked back to the table.

The chair the Game was in was empty, and so was the table. Abandoned and all alone in space and time.

"Damnit!" Shawn yelled. Triple H was too good to turn your back on.

"Hehe... The King of Kings may not always be smart, but he always gets what he wants."


	51. Kane's form

Inspired by: Nothing, easy way out.

* * *

Kane had to fill in a form, because he wanted to appear on a game-show again. Not the Weakest Link, but 'Who wants to be a millionaire?'.

He was bored, and the form bothered him. It bothered him because there would be more WWE-ers on the show, and somehow people wanted to know his opinions on those wrestlers.  
Maybe they were scared Kane would poke their eyes out? Who knows...

_**Name: **__Kane with a K, for I am not a Christmassy person_

_**Age:**__ Unknown_

_**Date of Birth:**__ 06 - 06 - 19666 (Hey, am I from the future?! Rawesome!)_

_**Place of Birth:**__ Hell_

_**Currently residing in: **__Death Valley, with my brother. And our Chipmunk Casey. Hunter burned my house down._

_**Favorite food:  
**__Beth Phoenix_

_**Favorite band:**__  
Rammstein, they sing about fire a lot. A LOT! Mein Herz brennt, Feuer Frei, Feuer und Wasser and so on._

_**Favorite actor:**__  
Glen Jacobs, did you see him in See no Evil? I wish I was him..._

_**Favorite Color:**__  
Pink like my outfit... I will include a picture_

_**Rate you intelligence on a scale of 1 to 10  
**__10, because I'm smarter than you and everybody else._

_**Are you allergic to anything?  
**__Yes, Rey Mysterio._

_**Do you have any disorders?  
**__According to Kozlov I have an Identity Crisis. I don't know how to be Glen anymore._

_**List your hobbies:**__  
Stealing, wrestling, stealing, food, stealing, cosplay, stealing and I like videogames too. To steal videogames is the ultimate high._

_**What topics do you know alot about?  
**__Fire and everything related... Criminals and thieves... Masks... and Videogames._

_**List your weaknesses:**__  
I poke people's eyes out, I drink too much cola_

_**List your best qualities:**__  
I'm too sexy for my shirt, so I never put one on in the first place. I'm great at stealing, especially masks and hats._

_**Please give us your opinion on the following people...  
**__**This is obligatory because we must know if you pose any danger to other contestants.**_

_**Triple H**_

_My best friend. We do everything together, from cosplay to stealing. My partner in crime.  
__He's odd but nice. But not very intelligent. Not the brightest crayon in the box really. But nice.  
__He looks good too._

_**Rey Mysterio  
**__I still haven't massacred him, but if he's coming I will do it there. On international television, that is Rawesome.  
__His mask is ugly._

_**John Cena  
**__Hm who? Do I know him?  
__Nice name though. Does he have a mask or a hat? Tell him to bring it with him._

_**The Undertaker  
**__Damn him, he set me on fire, he claims my food, he has a stupid costume and he annoys me a lot.  
__He has also killed my pet-bunny Danzig... I wonder why, maybe he wanted its soul? I hate him._

_**Kane  
**__I'm Kane. I'm Rawesome and the sexiest man alive._

_**Santino Marella  
**__He's hilarious. Love his accent, love his hair, love his lover. Want his lover.  
__Must kill him to get Beth Phoenix for my own. Not willing to share._

_**Kozlov  
**__Probably the most intelligent of them all, after me. He says Kozlov knows best, and he really does when Kane's not around.  
__Kane knows best after all.  
__He's cool and I will challenge him someday. Better competition than me he will never find ever anywhere. Too bad he has no hat. He should.  
__I will give him Shawn's someday._

_**CM Punk  
**__Pretty boy... Good tag-partner despite the fact he's so tiny compared to myself. He's tiny compared to everyone except for that Bourne dude.  
__I don't like his tattoo's, Pepsi sucks. Coca Cola is much better.  
__But he doesn't know better... _

_**Mr. Kennedy  
**__He's so loud... So very, very loud... Someday I will make an attempt to destroy his vocal chords. Until that day I will cover my ears whenever I see him approach.  
__He's also dumb, he keeps telling people his name twice. And that 20 times a day. He needs a shrink._

_**The Glamazon  
**__Oh hell yeah... I want her, in any way possible. Eh, the only woman here? How odd.  
__Put me next to her, at least I'll have something nice to look at besides myself in my pocketmirror._

_**Do you have any comments or remarks?  
**__Yes, drive home safely. Don't drink and drive... Unless I'm at least 100 miles away from you, whoever you are.  
__I'm pretty, you are not.  
__Now take a look at the pic I've included._

_**Signature:**_

_KANEEEEEEEEEEE aka The Big Red Machine/Monster aka The demented Kane_


	52. Royal Rumble

Over 150 reviews and 4500 hits.  
I thank thee all.  
Thank the Lord I'm over halfway done xD

**Inspired by:** My Royal Rumble 2007 dvd xD

* * *

The Royal Rumble was coming and everyone was waiting for it impatiently.

"I'm so winning again." Cena said.  
"Right..." Kozlov replied. "That is if I don't compete aswell."  
"I wanna go to Wrestlemania..."  
"So do I, I deserve it!"  
"I'm winning." JBL decided to butt in. "I once lasted 36 minutes."

Kozlov and Cena stared at him.  
Cena smirked. "Eh yeah, and you were hiding 30 of 'em."


	53. Swoosh

Keep the R&R-ing up people! :D

I think I might start an actual story soon... On Kane duh.

**Inspired by:** Pokemon... Warrior from Beyond I hereby send you a Zangoose ;D

I really hope some of you know some pokemon... If not this will not make sense. I'll limit it to the well-known ones...

* * *

_Hoppip Haunter Houndoom says:  
_And Mark?

_Pachirisu says:_  
eh... Zapdos :)

_Hoppip Haunter Houndoom says:_  
Noooo... he's a... Mewtwo. He thinks he's awesome but I caught him -.-'

_Pachirisu says:_  
you caught Mark? :O

_Hoppip Haunter Houndoom says:_  
no, mewtwo

_Hoppip Haunter Houndoom says:_  
and Cena?

_Pachirisu says:_  
Togepi... He only does something good when it's really necessary

_Hoppip Haunter Houndoom says:_  
Lmbo how true

_Pachirisu says:  
_Why do you call yourself Hoppip Haunter Houndoom?

_Hoppip Haunter Houndoom says:_  
Cause I'm cute like Hoppip, scary like Haunter and evil like Houndoom

_Pachirisu says:_  
hoppip is not cute

_Hoppip Haunter Houndoom says:  
_Yes he is

_Pachirisu says:  
_is not

_Hoppip Haunter Houndoom says:  
_is too

_Pachirisu says:_  
so what about David?

_Hoppip Haunter Houndoom says:  
_Primeape. He's such a monkey sometimes... the animal, well he asks to be a primeape

_Pachirisu says:_  
You think I make a good Pachirisu?

_Hoppip Haunter Houndoom says:_  
no... you think you're the Heartbreak Kid and you think you resemble a... squirrel?

_Pachirisu says:_  
an electric squirrel!

_Hoppip Haunter Houndoom says:  
_you're... eh... a Kadabra!

_Pachirisu says:_  
why?

_Hoppip Haunter Houndoom says:_  
Well, because I like saying Kadabra. it makes me happy

_Hoppip Haunter Houndoom says:_  
Kadabraaaaaaa :D

_Pachirisu says:_  
... eh?

_Hoppip Haunter Houndoom says:_  
abrakadabraaaaa alakazaaaaam!! swoosh! :D

_Pachirisu says:_  
dude :O u o-k?

_Hoppip Haunter Houndoom says:_  
kazammmmmmmmm! kabradaka zammmmmmmm!

_Hoppip Haunter Houndoom says:_  
makes me very happy

_Pachirisu says:  
_why?

_Hoppip Haunter Houndoom says:_  
last night I dreamed I could swoosh too :)

_Hoppip Haunter Houndoom says:_  
I was a pokemon-trainer and my pikachu said 'I am the game'

_Hoppip Haunter Houndoom says:_  
and I swooshed it into pieces! xD

_Hoppip Haunter Houndoom says:_  
swoosh!!

_Hoppip Haunter Houndoom says:_  
Kazammmmmmmmmmmm

**Glen has been added to the conversation**

_Hoppip Haunter Houndoom says:_  
swoosh!

_Pachirisu says:_  
glen you must help paul

_Glen says:_  
wth is with your nicknames?

_Hoppip Haunter Houndoom says:_  
alakazam! swoosh! into pieces :D

_Glen says:  
_hm? S

_Hoppip Haunter Houndoom says:_  
I have swooshed glen into the convo! xD

_Pachirisu says:_  
that was me... I clicked 'add to convo'

_Hoppip Haunter Houndoom says:_  
I have swooshed Glen onto the compuuter!

_Glen says:_  
wait, what?

_Hoppip Haunter Houndoom says:_  
Glen is what?

_Pachirisu says:_  
hmmmm lemme think

_Glen says:_  
what is going on?

_Hoppip Haunter Houndoom says:_  
we're thinking about who is which pokemon

_Glen says:_  
you two are too much into kid's games

_Pachirisu says:_  
I think he's a Charizard!

_Glen says:_  
... I like that

_Hoppip Haunter Houndoom says:_  
I must agree, Charizard

_Hoppip Haunter Houndoom says:_  
Kazammmmmmmmmmmm! Kadabra! :D

_Pachirisu says:_  
stop that please

_Hoppip Haunter Houndoom says:  
_Shawn thinks he's a squirrel

_Pachirisu says:_  
electrifying :p

_Glen says:  
_you people scare me

**Glen has left the conversation**

_Pachirisu says:_  
I think you swooshed Glen away

_Hoppip Haunter Houndoom says:_  
I think so too... i g2g, must explore swoosh-talent some more

**Hoppip Haunter Houndoom has left the conversation**

_Pachirisu says:_  
if paul left and I'm still here, who else is here?

_Pachirisu says:_  
huh? who are you Meowth?

_Meowth says:_  
KENNEDYYYY!

_Pachirisu says:_  
Damnit, no way

**Pachirisu may not reply as his/her status is set offline**


	54. Santino's Maskeh

Worries! My most loyal reviewer is missing :O So either my fics got too boring or.  
-Acts dramatic- Something could be wrong. -le gasp-  
I hope not... No no no.  
Anyway, to others, thanks for the reviews! I hope someday I'll get 200. That'd be like, shockingly awesome.

I'm sorry for updating less, I'm attached to my NDS, I bought a new Pokemon game, and well, it's just as addicting as Pearl.  
Sue me haha! Warrior there was a zangoose too!

**Inspired by:** Santino Marella, who makes me soooo happy. Almost as happy as Chimchar. -falls over-

* * *

"Did you see Santino's 'mask'?" Triple H asked Kozlov.  
Kozlov nodded. "It's... Embarassing."  
"I'm going to steal it for Glen." H said smiling. "Wanna help?"  
Kozlov shrugged. "Heck, why not."

They went looking for Marella, who was talking to Batista.

"Baptista, you hurt my faceh, now you must payeh."  
Batista smirked.  
"Baptista, do not smile thateh, it's bothers Santino." Santino said.  
"Wanna find your inner talent?" 'Baptista' asked.  
"Will it help Glamarella?"  
"Yep."  
"So you will not hurt my face once moreh, Baptista?"  
"Nope."  
"Let'seh do it!"

Marella put off his mask because he was going to sing, and H and Kozlov saw their chance.  
While Santino was singing to 'Baptista' they grabbed the mask and headed off in a different direction.

"Wait," Kozlov said, "we could sell it to Glen, I need money."  
"I thought you needed better competition." H replied.  
"Yes, and money..."  
"Okidoki."

When they encountered Kane, Triple H tried to sell him Santino's mask.  
"Only ten dollar." H said to his 'bestest' friend.  
"K, why not." Kane handed H the ten bucks and went to hide the mask in H's closet.

"He's so stupid." Kane mumbled to himself. "Ten bucks... I already stole at least one hundred of him."


	55. Pokemail

**Inspired by:** 1. The fact you people do know pokemon and 2. the fact I can't stop thinking about the damn game.  
NDS-Addict.

**Promise:** I will not use Pokemon in chapters again after this one. At least not for ten chapters, 'cause it's probably killing y'all.

* * *

_Dear Pachirisu,_

_Bought Pokemon Mystery Dungeon; Explorers of Time. Have found out I'm Chimchar, not Hoppip, Haunter or Houndoom.  
Sincerely ask you to tell Meowth if he would like to stop meowing. Liked him much more when he still yelled KENNEDY all day long.  
Also, please bring me chickensoup. I have asked Umaga (Or maybe Snorlax? LMFAO!) to do it, but he does refuse. Still._

_Please tell Mark I made him a painting. Of Charizard... So now he can see his brother whenever he wants to.  
Which reminds me, Kane was once a Charmander. How scary is that?_

_And find out where Adam is. I think something happened to him when he went fishing. Maybe he fell through the ice? Which probably means he will be found 1000 years from now, and people will melt him and bring him to life and wonder where Canada is._

_... Oh no here it comes..._

_KADABRAAAAA! Kazam!_

_Have found out swooshing does not work on Jeff Hardy when he pisses me off. Instead he gives me a mean look which made me cry when I came home.  
Also tell Kozlov to stop threatening me in Russian during Smackdown. Makes me cry too._

_Last but not least; Tell Baptista to make Santino stop singing... Even Stone Cold is a better singer, despite the fact he doesn't know the Beatles._

_Gotta go, will cosplay Motorhead now... With Kozlov... I hope Kozlov knows Motorhead. He is Russian, he might only know Tatu. I like tatu, they're so gay but not gay.  
Just like you! :)_

_Much love, you're DX-friend and dearly beloved Chimchar._

HBK scratched the back of his head. How did the Game know about his secret gayness? Or hetero-sexualness? Or... Well, whatever.  
He clicked 'reply'.

_Dear Chimchar,_

_you must lend me your new game sometime. Also, Queen is not a pokemon, even though you said so.  
Wanted to tell you earlier, but you left too soon._

_I'm not gay. Nor straight. I'm pansexual, which means I'm in love with pans.  
I'm confused._

_Will tell Ken to stop meowing, and will tell Mark you made him a painting. Considering the fact I know how you paint I suggest you tell him it's a charizard... Because he might probably think it's just an apple. I'm sorry, you're paintings suck._

_You know? Paul the Big Showoff cracked me up... He said time passes by too quickly... Then he frowned and said 'that's because it's getting later, not because the clock has started walking'.  
I laughed for an hour, until he started to stare at me.  
I don't think Paul has a sense of humor, he only has big hands. And big feet._

_Anyway, I don't want to be Pachirisu anymore. Have decided I'm sexy, and squirrels are not. Therefore I want to be Charizard.  
But Kane already is, so we must make him something else. I suggest he's Onix. It fits him. And I'm sexier than he is. I'm HBK for heaven's sake._

_must go too, have an appointment with Chris. Will tell him how next time I see him I will rip his head off.  
Which would be today._

_Love you, but not as much as pans, sincere greetings,  
Charizard._

Only a few minutes later Shawn received an e-mail back from H's mail-address.

_Shawn.  
Glen here. I'm sexier than you are, live with it. You're not Charizard, not even Onix. You're Marowak because... I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SMACKDOWN!_

_Soon I will chokeslam you into the fiery pits of hell. But still, I'm sexier.  
And I have your hat!_

_Kane with K, for I am not a Christmassy person._


	56. An ABC for the 'Taker

**Inspired by:** Earlier chappie.

* * *

It wasn't the Undertaker's birthday, but everyone was bored they decided to make him an ABC. Kind of like a Christmaspresent in... Well October.

Taker wasn't that amused when they came with it, but he decided to sit it out, even if it was just to please the Big Show.

_A is for Appendix, yours was removed by Y2J,  
B is for Backlash, last Backlash you did okay.  
C is for Carnivore, we fear you are one,  
D is for Dumb, you get nothing done._

_E is for Everything, everything you sent to hell,  
F is for Fear, when we see you it's in what we dwell.  
G is for Great, you're great and we do agree,  
H is for Hell, only there you feel free._

_I is for I, I'm not writing for this ABC,  
J is for Job, since you're a wrestler you don't need a degree.  
K is for Kane, you're demented little brother,  
L is for Lonely, you know what that feels like like no other._

_M is for Maniac, you're the biggest of 'em all,  
N is for Nothing, if you think of something yourself gimme a call  
O is for Oprah, the only person on TV you like,  
P is for Parkinglot, where you put your bike._

_Q is for Quality, which unlike your brother you do provide,  
R is for Ransom, there should be a price on your head so go on and hide  
S is for Singing, we know it's a secret hobby of yours,  
T is for Tower, you live in one with many doors (Wth guys, still can't rhyme!)_

_U is for Undertaker, that should be you,  
V is for Vacation, I wish you'd go one and stayed there too!  
W is for Whale, your very favorite pet,  
X is for nothing, it's because I'm Russian this letter I get!_

_Y is for Y2J, we know you don't like him a lot,  
and Z is for nothing but at least we're done, thank God._

_Love,  
Paul the Big Showoff, GlenDanzig, Paul the Game Levesque, Cena, MARELLA!!, Michelle, Beth and David B._


	57. Guitar Hero

The lost reader has once again arrived. I'm glad. Not only because of the reviews my loves.  
Thanks for reviewing, reading and being nice to me.

**Inspired by:** Did someone mention Guitar Hero? I gotta play that again as soon as I'm able to stay away from Pokemon and Suikoden. Guitar Hero dus (Hmmm sorry for the dus, it's dutch. Never mind it lmbo)

* * *

Jeff went all out on 'Free Bird'. He never knew Guitar Hero could make him feel so... Heroic. He played every note, and was amusing his brother by jumping around and yelling along to the words of the song.

Suddenly the music stopped, and the screen read 'song failed'.

"What? I rock!" Jeff yelled at the television.  
Matt started to laugh his ass off. "You'll fail everything if you keep on playing like that."  
"Like what?" Jeff asked confused.  
"With the controller unplugged..."


	58. Diary of a Deadman

**Inspired by:** Nothing.  
Kozlov has done the unthinkable. He now shares second place with the Taker in my list of faves... Kane is still numero uno.

Swoosh!

* * *

_Diary of a Deadman_

_August 20, 2008._

9:00  
Woke up, fed Glen's squirrel

9:30  
Feeling hungry, might need to go to mall

10:00  
Still hungry, feeling faint

10:30  
Ate Glen's squirrel

10:35  
Will go to the mall, buy Glen new pet. Feel bad for eating squirrel

11:00  
Came back with bunny. no squirrels... Wonder where Glen got squirrel in the first place

11:07  
Think Glen might've captured squirrel himself. never knew Glen was fast enough to hunt.

11:15  
Will go wake up Glen now

11:23  
Woke up Glen by staring at him and whispering his name. Called ambulance, gave Glen a heartattack

11:50  
Paramedics can't get Glen downstairs, will lower him down from the window. Funny sight, am taking pictures.

12:00  
Am alone in the house, will watch Oprah

12:34  
Oprah said life doesn't end when you're dead. Consider myself living proof op Oprah's words

13:04  
Hospital called, said Glen didn't have a heartattack... Attempt to kill 'brother' failed once again.

14:07  
At hospital, with bunny. Almost arrested for trying to get bunny into hospital. Killed security

14:08  
Glen wonders where squirrel is. Telling him about how the squirrel overnight mysteriously transformed into a bunny. Glen asked if he could transform into bunnies aswell, told him yes.

14:18  
Watching Glen trying to become a bunny. Taking pictures again.

15:00  
Glen can go home, still don't know why he's here though. Indigestion?

15:21  
At Paul's, will make attempt to get my hat back once again.

15:23  
Stuck in Paul's closet, accidently closed the door, and it has no handle on the inside.

15:26  
Called Ken, he's coming now.

15:40  
Ken's here, asked me if I had vaseline here... When I told him no he said 'Aww, now there's nothing you can do to keep yourself occupied'. Wonder what he means?

15:44  
Have just realised what Ken ment. Am grossed out, will kill Ken soon enough.

16:50  
Fount Santino's mask, tried it on. Wonder what I look like now?

17:00  
Put on own hat. Feel much more Taker now.

17:10  
Am very bored, don't like closets. Wonder where Paul is.

17:31  
Called Paul, he told me he's at Glen's... They're both trying to change into bunnies. Am worried about their wellbeing.

17:55  
Called other Paul, the big Showoff. He came here and set me free. Feeling very dusty now.

18:30  
Checked mirror. Looking very dusty aswell...

19:00  
Just realised I forgot my hat, it's still in the closet. Attempt to recover hat failed once again.

19:22  
Am watching dr. Phil. Dr. Phil says eating cookies will make you fat. I consider myself the living proof of the fact Dr. Phil is wrong. Am not fat, am very sexy deadman.

19:33  
Glen came home wearing bunny ears. Says it might fasten the process of a complete transformation. Am still worried.

20:01  
Am getting hungry again, told Glen to buy me chickenlegs. Glen refuses, says he's a bunny and therefore will never buy meat again.

20:06

Told Glen I at squirrel... He does not believe me.

20:20

Ate Glen's bunny as punishment. Glen's crying and on the phone with Matt. They're plotting against me, I swear.

21:04  
Am watching movie with Stone Cold Steve Austin and Vinnie Jones. Wonder why Vinnie Jones talks funny.

21:50  
Called Regal, trying to find out why Jones talks funny. Regal answered me but I don't understand him. He talks funny too.

21:55  
Am watching movie with Jason Statham now. Talks the same as Jones and Regal. Wonder if the British are plotting against me too.

22:49  
Tried to startle Glen by pretending to be dead and sitting up in very stylish way. Attempt 2 to kill 'brother' failed.

23:07  
Putting pictures on computer. Will put Glen's trying to be a bunny pics on my Myspace... For punishment.

00:09  
Am getting loads of picture comments saying Glen is sexy. Am very annoyed.

00:40  
Am going to sleep in Glen's bed. I know he did something to mine. Am very annoyed, Glen's bed is too small. Wonder how he fits in.


	59. Kozlov's shoes

Argh xD I almost posted a chapter to my Iris story right here xD Lmbo. Found my love for DBZ-Vegeta back whoohoo. Ahwell. Thanksssss for reviews :D Over 175 reviews and over 5000 hits. I'm a happy Triple T whoohoo.  
I'm happy you liked Diary of a Deadman. Will definetely make more diaries xD

**Inspired by:** My shoes.

* * *

"...So you're saying you don't know what to do about it." The Big Show said to Kozlov.  
"No, it's so odd, she's lovely, but something seems wrong..."  
"Man, women are trouble, it'll be okay." The Big Show said to Kozlov, who apparantly was having girl-trouble.  
"Yeah but, what to do?" He asked. "What would you do if you were in my shoes?"

The Big Show took a look at Kozlov's shoes.

"Well." He said. "Clean them."


	60. Downright Dumb

**Inspired by:** My fish -- It's name is Blubber in case you're wondering. -Falls over-

* * *

_MATT is HERE! says:_  
Yeah I know, he's not the smartest cookie in the jar...

_GlenJacobs says:_  
Tell me about it, he is downright dumb

_GlenJacobs says:  
_you know what he did? Lmfao... Someone called right?

_MATT is HERE! says:_  
yeah

_GlenJacobs says:_  
and suddenly he yells 'How am I supposed to know, that's 200 fucking miles away from here!'

_MATT is HERE! says:  
_eh?

_GlenJacobs says:_  
so I was like; who was that mark?

_MATT is HERE! says:_  
yeah, and?

_GlenJacobs says:  
_and he said; 'I dunno, but that dumbass asked me if the coast was clear' lmfaooooo

_MATT is HERE! says:_  
LMFAO!

_MATT is HERE! says:_  
Reminds me of Jeff haha... we had a fish, you know that?

_GlenJacobs says:_  
yeah, I saw it. it was yellow right?

_MATT is HERE! says:_  
yeah! but it fell ill right? and Jeff couldn't watch it, it saddened him right?

_GlenJacobs says:  
_yeah, that's Jeff alright.

_MATT is HERE! says:  
_so I said: put him out of his misery, it's gonna die anyway, and it doesn't deserve to suffer anymore...

_MATT is HERE! says:_  
lmfao, so Jeff decided to kill the fish because of what I said, but somehow it just wouldn't die...

_GlenJacobs says:_  
awwww, how come?

_MATT is HERE! says:_  
because Jeff... well... He tried to drown it!! XD

_GlenJacobs says:_  
lmfaoooo

_MATT is HERE! says:_  
Haha hahahaaaaaa xD xD


	61. Umaga

**Inspired by:** Nothing. My funnyness is getting extremely LAME lol.

* * *

"Umaga! Where've you been?" Orton asked the Samoan bulldozer.  
"I fell from the stairs, and broke my neck, so I had to lay flat for four months." Umaga replied.  
"Oh... Was there nobody to help you up?"

* * *

I'm so sollyyyyy, only one today. And very short too xD Will post more tomorrowwww  
About Santino I think, he cracks me up... The Manimal Baptista xD xD


	62. At the movies

Don't own... Not claiming anything.

Thanks for reviewing.

**Inspired by:** Nothing. Feeling lame once again...

* * *

Cena and Orton are at the movies. They see an Indian riding a horse, and they're going towards a cliff.

"I wanna bet he's going to fall off the cliff." Orton says to Cena.  
Cena shakes his head. "I bet he won't." He replies.  
"How much?" Orton asks.  
"Ten bucks."

The Indian doesn't slow down and yes, he falls off the cliff.

"Ha! I win!" Orton says happily. "But I must confess... I have seen this movie before..."  
Cena smiles. "Me too, I just didn't expect that Indian to make the same stupid mistake twice."


	63. Diary of a Big Red Monster

**Inspired by:** Earlier chapter. Easy way out. Check out my poll on the homepage if you like these chappies, I'd like to know your opinion.

4 more and I can talk about Pokemon again xD

* * *

**Diary of a Big Red Monster.**

**August 22, 2008.**

10:00  
Woke up 'cause Paul was bouncing on my bed.

10:02  
Threw Paul off bed, am currently putting on pants

10:30  
Am eating Fishsticks, have decided transforming into a bunny is too much work.

10:50  
Am trying to convice Paul to wake up Mark, am very bored.

11:10  
Am cleaning out Paul's wounds. Forgot to tell him Mark has rotten temper when woken up by loud, bouncy wrestlers.

11:50  
Am getting ready to go to mall, must buy Paul present, he feels sad 'cause Mark attacked him.

12:00  
Set stove on fire. oops.

12:10  
Have put fire out, like the stove better in black anyway.

12:30  
Am at mall, fell down a flight of stairs. Didn't break limbs, only my pride.

12:53  
Bought Paul new sledgehammer, feel bad for the old one going up in flames

13:11  
Have decided to steal sledgehammer, want to cosplay Paul again.

13:34  
Wonder why Mark looks good with eyeliner

13:40  
Maybe he's born with it, Maybe it's Maybelline?

14:11  
Stole Mark's eyeliner, will make cosplay so much better

14:55  
Bought bunny, bunny bit me. Wonder what I did wrong.

14:59  
Decided to feed bunny a lot, will make beautiful christmas dinner

15:06  
Feeling sad, don't want to eat bunny. Never... Have christened bunny 'Bunchlax' because it sounds cool...

15:14  
Am tired, decided to become SantaClause, so I can have a sleigh with reindeers

15:50  
Am watching Mark, he's cleaning the stove. Have told him Paul set it on fire.

16:54  
Am cleaning out Paul's wounds again, did not know Mark liked stove so much

17:01  
Ken's here, telling me his name. Did not know his last name was 'Kennedy'

17:04  
Ken still here, shouting his name

17:09  
Trying to make Ken eat rocks

17:40  
Ken ate rocks, still talking. Attempt to destroy vocal chords has failed.

18:33  
Am hungry again... Will eat Mark's fishsticks once again

19:00  
Am cleaning out wounds, Mark tried to kill me. His attempt to kill his brother failed again.

19:04  
Think I might be invincible

19:11  
Called Matt, told him about my invincibility... Matt asked me if wanted to take a pic of myself and send it.

19:20  
Sent Matt pic, Matt says he sees me, therefore I am not invincible

19:22  
Am trying to convince Matt invincible and invisible are not the same

19:27  
Called Regal, tried to explain about invincibility, wonder what he's saying, he confuses me...

19:30  
Still making attempts to understand Regal, have decided Regal must learn english

19:35  
Suggested to Regal he should go back to school. He asked 'Are you free, Mr. Humphrey?'

19:36  
Thought my name was Glen, am confused still

19:55  
Told Mark my real name, Mark attacked me

20:37  
Never knew Mark once had a whale named Humphrey, am worried about big bro's wellbeing

20:40  
Am watching 'Animal Cops'. They took a dog, wonder what dog did wrong?

20:43  
Think dog did nothing wrong, I say he's innocent

20:45  
Checked on Bunchlax, wonder why he's hissing

20:49  
Found out Bunchlax is actually a cat... I like cats, so I'm keeping him.

21:04  
Have decided to become a witch, cats and witches are like bullets and guns

21:32  
Have decided to buy a gun aswell, think it will suit the Big Red Machine

21:33  
Should be a machinegun, I suppose?

21:54  
Am in Mark's room, found out he already has a gun. Stole gun

22:09  
Stole his coat too

22:20  
Watching movie called 'Das Boot'. have found out it's about a boat.

01:40  
Am very sad, captain of boat died. He was quite pretty.

02:30  
Am dancing on Karma Chameleon, woke up Mark, he's dancing now too

02:53  
Cops came, told me to turn down radio. Chokeslammed cops out of window

03:00  
Am going to bed, have headache.

05:30  
Woke up from nightmare, am in Mark's bed now. Will sleep here from now on.


	64. Mission Accomplished 2

**Inspired by:** Not sure... Baptista the Manimal -Falls over laughing-.

* * *

Batista walked to the stage and stepped on.  
He stood in the middle of it and scratched his throat. There was immediate silence, and Batista decided now was the time.

"Hi, I came back on stage." The Animal started. "And I present to you the person who has recently found his inner talent..."  
Some people got nervous. Batista should never be let on a stage, they knew it would mean only one thing... Bad music.  
"This person has more talent than I initially suspected, so I'm proud to introduce you to..." Silence. Batista liked being dramatic every once in a while. "Santino!"

There were a lot of sighs when Santino made his way to the stage, and some people actually put on headphones as if they were expecting this.

"I am Santino, and here is my song, thanks for Baptista!"

Santino smirked a bit cautious and waited to 'the Manimal' to start playing. Batista started to hit the piano and Santino started to sing.

_"Eh, I am from Italy,  
everyoneh there knows me.  
I have a beautiful womaneh,  
and you will see..._

_How Santino will become,  
the world's greatest championeh,  
how Santino will showeh,  
how to get the gold._

_I am better than Honkey Tonkey man..."_

Suddenly Batista jumps on the stage again and spear Santino to the ground.  
"What is your problem!" Santino yells from his place on the ground.  
"Watch out!" The Animal replies.

A few tomatoes fly towards the stage, and some people were insane enough to mix some rocks in aswell... (Kane maybe)  
Santino sees this and hugs Batista.  
"Ah Baptista, you are a true friendeh." Santino says happily. "I might write a song about you!"  
"No offence, but I think I might've been wrong about your talent."  
"You are not, in Italy, they would like the songeh..."  
"Then why not go to Italy?" Batista asks.  
"Good idea! I will leave right away!"

Santino gets back up and walks away, probably ready to leave for Italy again.  
Batista grabs the microphone and laughs. "Santino went back to Italy... Mission accomplished!"


	65. Swoosh 2

Inspired by: Nothing... My back hurts. I wonder why.

* * *

The King of Kings stared at the Big Red Machine. The Big Red Machine stared back and smirked his sexy smirk.  
"What the hell are you doing, Paul?" Kane asked H.  
"I am concentrating..." H replied.  
"Okay...?"

Triple H couldn't help but exploring his newfound talent some more. In the past few days he had been trying to make several superstars disappear, but it didn't work once.  
Or well, it did, one time he was staring at Finlay, closed his eyes, yelled the magic word and bang! Finlay was gone.  
What he didn't know was that Finlay just walked away. But why telling the Game, he seemed so happy.

"Paul, it's getting annoying." Kane said. "I know I'm pretty, but this is downright scary..."  
"Ahem... Don't talk Glen, it's going to happen soon!" H said.

H closed his eyes, counted to ten and...

"Swoosh!" He yelled out loud. He made some strange gestures to make it look more dramatic and opened his eyes.  
Kane was gone... Kane was actually gone!

"I did it again!" The Game yelled happily. "I did it! I have swooshed Glen away, far away!" He walked to his closet and opened it, intending to tell the great news to his sledgehammer.

H looked closely. And again... There was no hammer! Triple H could not find the hammer! It was practically a disaster!  
The Game stalked off in pursue of his beloved tool. "Damn you Glen! I will get it back."

Kane, in the meanwhile, looked around.  
"Where the hell..." He saw a windmill. "What the... It worked, it actually worked, Paul swooshed me to a different country!" He scratched the back of his head. "Now how am I gonna get back?"


	66. Bdays, gayness and a Funky Glen part 1

Considering the fact I'm turning 21 tomorrow I might not update for a few days. Gonna be busy and party lol I'm getting old. -sighs-

**Inspired by: **The fact is my b-day tomorrow. PARTYYYYYTIME! xD it's a special with _all_ my favorite superstars and lotsa randomness. For this once I think it's okay to write the p-word again? -pout-

* * *

**Kozlove:** I have arrived

**MarkyMark:** I can tell...

**Kozlove**: Where'd you leave the funky bunch?

**MarkyMark:** The funky bunch is not online yet...

**Kozlove: **what?

**MarkyMark:** You heard me

**ChickenMan:** hi

**MarkyMark:** hey man, what's with the nickname?

**Kozlove**: Eh Dalip, are you some sort of new superhero?

**ChickenMan:** yes, ChickenMan, only here for the beer

**Kozlove:** eh?

**ChickenMan:** you heard me

**Kozlove:** I'm already annoyed -.-'

_Showoff has entered the chatroom_

**  
ChickenMan**: why?

**Showoff: **hi there!!

**MarkyMark: **you're awfully enthusiastic

**Showoff: **where'd you leave the Funky Bunch?

**MarkyMark: **not online yet

**Showoff:** eh?

**MarkyMark:** you heard me...

**Kozlove:** ah long time no see Paul

**Showoff: **I know, I was a busy man

**Kozlove:** busy with what

**Showoff:** that's a secret, how's ur girl?

**Kozlove:** Rain's fine, I just... hmmmm...

**Showoff:** yeah?

**Kozlove:** well, lessay this 'what is the best way to remember your girlfriends birthday?'

**ChickenMan:** eh?

**Kozlove:** Forgetting about it once!

**MarkyMark**: lmfao

**Kozlove:** I am not amused

_  
Italy has entered the chatroom_

**  
Italy: **hello my friends!

**Showoff:** who's u?

**Italy:** Santinooooo!

**MarkyMark:** that was hard to guess -.-

**Italy:** ah markymarky, where'd you leave the funky bunch?

**MarkyMark:** this is getting old...

**ChickenMan:** I must agree

**Italy:** did you know it's my b-day today?

**MarkyMark**: no... eh WAIT!!

**Italy: **eh?

**MarkyMark:** Kozlove forgot about his gf's b-day... Santino's b-day is today... soooo...

**Showoff: **I'm going to puke

**ChickenMan:** that is so cute omg, gayyyyynesssss yayyyynessssss

**Italy:** I am confused

**Kozlove:** for heaven's sake I am not dating Santino!!

**Italy:** oh no not at all, I'm already with Beth!! D

**MarkyMark:** ...bleh I thought we'd finally get some action in here

**ChickenMan:** Eww mark no, not with you

**MarkyMark:** why? what is wrong with me?

**ChickenMan:** I don't like men with eyeliner

**Kozlove:** I don't like men in the first place -.-

**ChickenMan**: I can not agree

**MarkyMark:** but I am sexy! and cute! and and and... eh

**Kozlove:** gay?

**ChickenMan**: Gayyynesssss yayyyyynessssss

**MarkyMark:** my point exactly

**MarkyMark:** I'm not gay though, I just like to look good

_  
HHH has entered the chatroom_

**  
ChickenMan**: I'm not queer either, at least not completely

**HHH:** Now that's a nice way of being welcomed! D

**Italy:** it's my b-day and nobody said something nice (

**HHH:** Happy happy happy b-day!! D

**Italy:** thanks Paolo

**HHH:** whut?

_  
TheFunkyBunch has entered the chatroom_

**  
MarkyMark:** FINALLY!!

**TheFunkyBunch:** you're happy to see me -.- I hate you

**MarkyMark:** I love you too

**Kozlove:** I'm so confused

**MarkyMark**: why you think I'm just MarkyMark these days? I got sick of the funky bunch

**Kozlove:** Mark, you're not Mark Wahlberg

**TheFunkyBunch**: Wahlberg looks better anyway

**MarkyMark**: like you're one to talk -.-

**TheFunkyBunch:** hmpf, I'm sexy, sexier than anyone

**ChickenMan:** even Johnny Depp?

**TheFunkyBunch**: yep

**Kozlove:** who are you anyway?

**TheFunkyBunch**: Glen, who else?

**HHH:** ... omg xD

**Kozlove:** you're... funky?

**MarkyMark**: ever seen him dance to Karma Chameleon?

**Kozlove:** eh, no. have you?

**MarkyMark**: oh yeah, he's pretty funky

**ChickenMan**: are there video's of that?

**MarkyMark: **yep, on my youNoob

**ChickenMan**: linklinklinklinklink!!

**MarkyMark:** www.youNoob.mm/ITookYourToys

**ChickenMan:** WHOOHOOOOO!! g2g check Mark's yn!

_ChickenMan has left the chatroom  
_

**HHH**: damnit glen, you never dance for me

**TheFunkyBunch**: sorry babe

**HHH:** tee-hee

**Kozlove:** ... eh...

**MarkyMark:** what's with the gayness today?

**Kozlove:** I wish I knew...

**Kozlove:** hey did you notice... Santino's silent

**MarkyMark**: I know, don't you feel good now?

**Kozlove:** hmm now that you mention it!!

_HardyPower has entered the chatroom  
_

**Kozlove:** AH! Jeff or Matt?

**HardyPower: **both, so... jett?

**HardyPower:** damnit jeff, it's Maff!

**HHH**: haha hahaha xD

**TheFunkyBunch:** weirdo's

**HardyPower:** we're not the one called thefunkybunch

**TheFunkyBunch:** oh stfu

**HardyPower:** I agree, stfu matt!

**HardyPower:** I am soooooo going to kill you now Jeff!

**HardyPower:** kb ash vrekygETYbjkv&Rp

**HardyPower:** NJBN hft ywgfeilyfFvjhFIY86&(&((

**HardyPower**: uhw sorry, I smashed Matt's head on the keyboard -.-

**TheFunkyBunch:** ... lmao

**MarkyMark:** this is odd...

**TheFunkyBunch**: lmfao so the whole funky bunch is complete, including Marky Mark?

**TheFunkyBunch:** no, the funky bunch has seperated from MM because MM wears too much make-up

**HardyPower**: who are you anyway?

**TheFunkyBunch: **I'm GLEN come ON!

**HardyPower:** eh, you're funky?

**TheFunkyBunch:** fuck it...www.youNoob.mm/ITookYourToys

**Kozlove**: my chat's acting up

**TheFunkyBunch:** we should all refresh... see ya in a few seconds!

* * *

Gotta go, will post part 2 in a few days! Must run, only 3 hours left to be a 20-year-old argh!


	67. Bdays, gayness and a Funky Glen part 2

Thanks so much for the sweet b-daywishes my dear readers!! D I was a very very happy Triple T )

Eh... Time to go to 200 reviews xD only 2 more and... whoohooooooooooooooo!

**Inspired by: **Nothing, this is part 2 of Bdays, Gayness and a Funky Glen, or in this case...  
_The Pink DS, Disney Land and Kittens_

* * *

**TheFunkyBunch:** I have refreshed...

**MarkyMark**: Me too, and it took a whole minute!

**Kozlove:** lmbo

**HHH:** did anyone see Shawn?

**Kozlove**: yeah

**HHH:** where??

**TheFunkyBunch:** I thought you only loved me -.-

**HHH: **true, but I need Shawn's Nintendo DS

**TheFunkyBunch:** why? you have mine don't you?

**HHH**: eh yeah

**TheFunkyBunch:** you do right?

**HHH: **yeah yeah! I do D

**HardyPower: **he said 'I do' to Glen...

**HardyPower:** Matt's rolling on the floor laughing

**TheFunkyBunch:** Paul what did you do to my NDS??

**HHH: **nothing nothing nothing!

**TheFunkyBunch:** than why do you need Shawns?

**HHH: **cause I wanna trade pokemon?

**TheFunkyBunch:** shawn does not have pokemongames!

**HHH:** yeah he does

**TheFunkyBunch: **which one?

**HHH: **errr, Pokemon metal

**TheFunkyBunch:** pokemon metal does not exist!

**TheFunkyBunch: **what did you do Paul?

**HHH:** ... nothing, I swear

**Kozlove: **I'm officially confused

**Showoff:** I bought a kitten!!

**Kozlove:** dang I thought you were dead

_Baptista has entered the chatroom_

**  
Showoff:** no I was stuck

**HHH**: did you call Ken?

**Showoff:** yeah he brought me vaseline and I plopped free like ... like a big showoff

**HHH**: where were you stuck?

**Showoff: **rey's bathroom... his toilet is tiny

**MarkyMark**: LMFAO!

**TheFunkyBunch**: I hate Rey...

**Showoff**: guess what I found?!

**MarkyMark:** your brain?

**Showoff:** eh no, not yet... much better!

**Kozlove:** oh please do tell... -sighs-

**Showoff**: a pink handheld computer, like Nintendo

**HHH:** ... uh ooh

**TheFunkyBunch:** what??

**HardyPower:** how confusing

**Showoff: **I'm playing now

**TheFunkyBunch:** Paul what game is in it??

**HHH:** how should I know?

**TheFunkyBunch:** NOT YOU

**HardyPower**: Glen are you mad? (

**Showoff:** Pokemon Pearl

**TheFunkyBunch:** THAT IS MY NDS!! Damnit Paul did you lend it to Rey? to REY?! Mysterio??

**Italy**: Ooyaka Booyaka!

**HHH:** I'm so sorry Glen he asked me if he could check it out, and... I said yes

**TheFunkyBunch:** are you INSANE?

**Italy:** Ooyaka Booyaka 619!

**Kozlove**: please don't explode Glen?

**TheFunkyBunch:** paul listen, I will go to rey now, get my NDS back and steal ALL of his masks, and than...

**TheFunkyBunch**: I will come for your soul!!

**MarkyMark:** OH! If you have his soul, give it to me plz pretty plz Glen

**TheFunkyBunch:** sure

_TheFunkyBunch has left the chatroom_

**  
Showoff:** my soul?

**HHH:** no dumbass, mine, I'm off!! ARGHHHHHHHHH SOMEONE SAVE ME!!

**MarkyMark: **hehe I will have your soul soon. hee hee... hee hee hee

**MarkyMark: **hee hee heeeee hahahaha wahaahaaaa bwahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

**Kozlove: **stop that mark

**MarkyMark:** okidoki

_HHH has left the chatroom  
_

**Baptista:** I have been here for a long time and NOBODY SAID HI!

**Italy: **Hello Baptista!! D

**Baptista:** how come my nickname is BaPtista?!

**Italy**: I did that, surprise for the Manimal D

**Baptista:** oh hell...

**HardyPower**: hey hey hey heyyyyy

**Baptista:** hey...

**HardyPower:** we gots to go

**Baptista:** why?

**HardyPower:** cause we're going on vacation!!

**MarkyMark**: where?

**HardyPower**: Disney Land!! In PARIS city of romance ooohaaaaaaaawhhaaaaaa

**HardyPower:** matt, did we not agree on keeping that a secret??

**HardyPower:** ugh, first I'll beat up Matt, and than we're off to see Mickey mouse

**Italy**: Ooyaka Booyakaaaaaa!! hgave fun!

**HardyPower:** gesundheit. bye bye

_HardyPower has left the chatroom  
_

**Showoff:** as I sed, I bought a kittennnnnn wheeeeee

**MarkyMark**: awww how cuuuuteeeee!! D

**Showoff:** I named her Kane

**MarkyMark:** eh why?

**Showoff:** Glen made me... -.-

**Italy: **haha xD

**Showoff:** very cute, Mark you must come and see!!

**MarkyMark: **oki! be right there!

_MarkyMark has left the chatroom  
_

**Showoff**: did you guys hear?

**Baptista:** what?

**Showoff:** well, Steve eh, he went to the Netherlands right? and his house burned down?

**Italy:** who's steve?

**Showoff:** don't matter. anyway, I told him I'd pay his ticket to come back here

**Baptista:** and?

**Showoff:** he said no, because he found a new carreer... -.-

**Baptista:** as what?

**Showoff:** dancer. Clogdancing... Did you know you can dance on wooden shoes?

**Kozlove**: poor people in Netherlands lmao

**Showoff:** my point exactly

**Showoff:** I gotta go too, Mark's here! laterrrr!

**Kozlove: **later dude

**Italy:** bye-os

**Baptista:** bye...

_Showoff has left the chatroom  
_

**Kozlove:** this has gone on long enough, time to go... for all of us.

**Baptista:** mmmm?

**Kozlove:** 1, 2, 3 and

_Kozlove has banned Baptista from the chatroom  
_

**Italy:** oh no...

_Kozlove has banned Italy from the chatroom  
_

_Kozlove has left the chatroom_


	68. Cellular

_200 reviews!_ HAHA! I'm happy, this is much much much more than I expected when I started this nutty thing XD Thanks to all of you!! :D I'll make a list when I reach chappie 101!

**Inspired by:** My new cellphone

* * *

'You think you know me'  
Mr. Kennedy picked up his cellphone and answered. "Hello?" He said.  
"Hi, it's me, Cena..." Cena said.  
"Hey Cena, what's up?" Ken asked.  
"Bought a new cellphone, I'm calling you to ask if it's working well."

Mr. Kennedy frowned, he had picked up the phone, so didn't just that speak for itself?

"I don't think it's working John..." Ken said, a bit annoyed and a bit amused.  
"Damnit." Cena replied. He clicked Mr. Kennedy away and put the phone back in the box.  
"I thought the phone would be great, but no... Now I have to go back to the mall again." He said to himself while walking to the car.

In the meanwhile Mr. Kennedy sat behind his window, shaking his head. "He's so... Clueless."


	69. Truely and utterly a Disasterrrrrrr

I am completely, utterly, ganz, helemaal out of ideas! Mein Gott, het is verloren.  
Excuse me for the foreign languages, that's how out of ideas I am. So there's one thing left... One thing to save the day... And it starts with a p.

* * *

"It's a disaster." 'Taker said to Umaga. "Truely and utterly a disaster..."  
"Really?" Umaga asked.  
"Yes, disaster with a capital d and a lot of r's at the end."  
"Disasterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr?" Umaga asked.  
'Taker nodded.

They were talking about Kane, who had done something... Well disastrous.

"So... Why?" Umaga asked.  
"Glen has been spending a lot of time with Paul and Shawn..." Undertaker said. "And they decided Glen was a Charizard."  
"What's a charizard?" Umaga asked confused.  
"A big, reddish, fire-spitting dragonthing." 'Taker said.  
"Okay, and?"  
"And today Glen decided to use his move 'Flamethrower."  
"Eh okay..."  
"And..." The Undertaker paused. "He took a sip of gasoline, held up a lighter and spit out the gasoline again."  
"Oh no!" Umaga yelled. "Did something explode?"  
"Noooo..." 'Taker said. "No, but everything caught on fire, even Glen himself..."  
"Oh my! Is he okay?!"  
"Eh who?" 'Taker asked.  
"Glen!" Umaga yelled.  
"How should I know?"  
"Well, you said it was Disasterrrrrr..."  
"Yeah... Truely and utterly a disaster." The Phenom said saddened. "I will have to buy a new stove again."


	70. Prejudices

Whaaaaaah, part 70? Dang.

Inspired by: Nothing, just Dutch humor.  
Note: I am not racist lmao, I am dutch

* * *

"Yeah I know what you mean..." Randy Orton said to Edge. "I don't understand prejudice, it makes no sense..."  
Edge nodded. "People think they know you because you have one or two characteristics that certain people share."  
"I know! You know what it is?" Orton says. "Dutch men, and especially Dutch men with big beards are so full of prejudices..."


	71. How gay are yOu?

**Inspired by:** Earlier chapters.  
Disclaimer: Don't own Taker, don't own Ken Kennedy Kennedy Kennedyyyyyyy Kennedy. Uhw get the point?  
Am not implying anything, am just writing FICTION!  
Keep the R&R-ing up my loves!! :D

* * *

The Undertaker sat behind his computer, filling out some weird quiz he had found online.  
It was titled 'How gay are yOu?' and the Undertaker was dying to find out how gay he really was. As gay as the Great Khali? Or as a gay as Randy Orton? Who knew...

After answering the questions he clicked 'submit' and waited for his quizresults. After about ten seconds he finally got them, and the outcome completely blew him away.

'You are 100 gay. Gayer does not exist. I wish you the best of luck with this amazing outcome in your life.'

'Taker gasped and started to think about what to do now. Should he just?  
No, not a good idea. He did what everyone would do when they encountered a problem like this... Call Ken!

"Ken! KEN! I'm gay!" The Phenom yelled through the phone.  
"Really?" Mr. Kennedy Kennedy asked.  
"Yes, what to do?!"  
"Ehmmm... Mark... You got vaseline?" Ken snickered.  
"Yeah."  
"Be there in five!"

Now if only the Undertaker had read the footnote and realised this quiz was written for women who wanted to find out if they were gay...


	72. If I drink

**Inspired by:** Tv program I saw today... I however am seriously running out of ideas and still have 30 chappies to go.

So if you review I'd like it if you could give me 2 words... One name (of a wrestler) and something random like eh... table, or soccer or whatever.

* * *

THE Brian Kendrick, Big Daddy V and the Great Khali are bored, so they decide to go out.

They leave the house and after a little while they reach a very cute, and very crowded pub.

Big Daddy V is really in a really lame mood, and climbs on one of the tables. Everyone at the pub stops talking and they all stare at the large man on the table.

"If I drink..." V starts. "Everyone drinks!"

A lot of happy cheers are heard when the bartender starts to hand out beers to everyone. When everyone has finished their beers V climbs onto the table again.  
Again everyone turns to him, probably hoping for more.

"If I pay..." V starts again. "Everyone pays!"


	73. I feel

Inspired by: Nothing... I am inspired though! YAY!!

* * *

Mr. Kennedy Kennedy was bored. Really bored. So to kill time he called a psychic, to ask what to do.

"I can feel... I can feel... I can feel..."  
"Tell me already, this is costing me a fortune!" Mr. Kennedy yelled.  
"I'm sorry sir, it's hard to find out what I'm feeling if you yell like that." The psychic said with a soothing voice.  
"Oh, okay."  
"Okay sir... I'm feeling a lot right now... One is that... You should start a phoneline for people with problems."  
"Ooooh." Kennedy said. "I might, I'll call it 'Call Ken'."  
"Nice! And I'm also feeling... Yes, it's coming to me now..." The psychic said.

Mr. Kennedy held his breath. He never knew psychics were so... Intelligent.

"Yes, I feel it... This conversation..." The psychic paused. "This very conversation..." Another pause. "Will cost you ten bucks!"

_Beep beep beep_

* * *

_I might actually do a chappie of 'Call Ken'. Hmmm...  
WOW 4 chappies in one day! :D_


	74. Finish the Sentence, comeback!

**Inspired by:** Earlier chapters and Warrior from beyond. I totally forgot about this!! :O :O :O

Dun dun dunnnnn over 7000 hits, I'm like whaaaaat?! Lmao Got some things thought over... There will be more of these, maybe a few more evil e-mail, maybe some chats, more Hardyness and Drumroll MORE POKEMON ARGH! Because I can, it's my fic lmao.  
Thanks for the uplifting reviews, it'll be okay I guess ;D ENOUGH TALK! xD

* * *

"Something's just not right." The Game said to Kozlov.  
"Oh." Kozlov said. He could care less.  
"Something's missing." The Game nagged on.  
"Stone Cold?" Kane asked.  
"Yeah that too... But... I know!" The Game yelled. "We have not played Finish the Sentence in ages"  
"So true..." Edge nodded. "It's time to play the game"  
Triple H smacked Edge over the head. "Yes it is, but I'm the only one allowed to say that!" He smirked. "Let's play."

_Once upon a time there was..._  
Beth Phoenix!

_He wanted to go..._  
Catch a Pokemon!

_But (Fill in name)_ Jeff _stopped him_

_because..._  
He was going to Disney Land!! :D

_So instead he decided to..._  
Write in his diary

_But disaster stroke!! (Name a disaster)_  
The stove caught on fire!

_And he would never ever..._  
Play hide and seek again (

_But he wanted to continue his life so..._  
He called Ken!

_And told his best friend (Name best friend)_  
the Great Khali,

_To go to..._  
The Netherlands

_And he started a new carreer as..._  
A psychic

_So in the end..._  
He got stuck in a closet

_And he lived..._  
With Santino's mask stuck on his face FOREVER!

"Haha... Weird one." The Game said.  
The Glamazon frowned. "I am not a man though!"


	75. Umaga's Injury

**Inspired by:** Edward's Josie Black's two words :)

* * *

Umaga and Ashley stepped into the room, coming back from their week off.  
First nobody noticed them, but soon enough everybody gasped and pointed at Umaga's face.  
"Here we go." Ashley groaned.

"What, the hell, happened?" Matt asked Umaga.  
"I got hurt." Umaga replied dryly.  
"How?" Carlito asked smirking.

They were staring at the Samoan because he was injured... Injured in his face. It kind of looked like he was attacked by cat, but worse. A lion maybe?

"Well..." Umaga started. "I was attacked by a lion."  
"But I thought you two went to Iceland?" Matt asked confused.  
"They have lions there... Made of ice." Umaga tried to save his pride.  
"Hmmm right..." Matt turned to Ashley instead. "Well what happened?"

Umaga stared at Ashley and she stared back, glaring at him.

"Well, this is what happened... Umaga fell." She said.  
"Oh, that makes more sense." Carlito was still smirking.  
"Yeah he fell... And I tripped over his face." She continued.  
"That still doesn't explain everything." Matt stated.  
"Well we were..." Ashley started laughing.  
"Yes? You were what?"  
"Figure skating!"


	76. Maffmails

**Inspired by:** Who was it again? Lemme check the reviews... kbbaby2123's two words! Or three xD :D Note: Set during the time Matt and Jeff were in Disneyland. Hurray.

* * *

Kane looked up as his computed plinged at him.  
'You've got mail you big red son of a bitch'  
He shook his head. The Phenom really had to stop changing the e-mail message on his computer... He sighed and clicked 'open'.

_Dear Glen the man,  
have you heard? I have... About disney land and Matt and Jeff in it.  
Apparantly Jeff had a problem with the language, because in Paris they speak French. He knew that, but he never thought of the fact that maybe they spoke english too right?_

_So Jeff went to a foodstand or something, and kept yelling 'Nacho!' to the man behind it. Nobody knows why, because nacho's aren't French. Even I know that.  
Anyway, Matt just called me to say they were delayed and they'd come back later because of something I will write in this e-mail.  
Annywho, the man behind the foodstand was, sadly enough, a Mexican. So the man got angry and yelled 'C'est ne pas possible!' which means 'it isn't possible'. Even I know that. Apparantly there were no nachos... Very sad indeed.  
So because Jeff kept yelling it the man started to think Jeff was a Racist, and he hit Jeff with some big, long, thin loaf of bread. Then Jeff got angry because he was clueless and speared the man to the ground right? I don't know why though... Very sad thing._

_Anyway, some security came and they took Jeff away from there, and now he's in prison for assaulting a Disney land employee and he can't get out until he says he's sorry to the nachoman who had no nacho's, in French.  
I'm sorry is 'je regrette', but he doesn't know that. And since he doesn't know that, and nobody told him, Matt asked if I could come teach Jeff French._

_So I'm leaving for Paris now, not because I want to help out Jeff, but because I'm dying to see Mickey Mouse. I'll teach Jeff French, but I won't teach him 'I'm sorry' until I'm sick of Mickey, Pluto, Space Mountain and tiny french ladies._

_Which brings me to the key of this mail... You must take over my matches on Raw... Which means you should ask someone to take over your matches, because we're always up against eachother right?  
I suggest Festus._

_Love,  
Rey the mystery man who is finally going to see mickey mouse omg omg omggggggggggggg!!_

Kane rolled his eyes and clicked 'reply'.

_Rey,  
no way. And what the hell are you talking about? You're not french either. Right?  
Ugh, make sure you leave your masks in your closet, if you wear 'em you might scare Mickey Mouse.  
When you come back I will massacre you. Now I'm off to get Nacho's, say hi to Maff for me._

_Kane with a K for I am not a Christmassy person._


	77. Call Ken

OMG I'm alive! I was hooked on Suikoden again, and I went to a themepark so I was busy. YAY :D

**Inspired by:** Nothing.

* * *

"Hello this is Ken Kennedy, please tell me your problemo's!" Mr. Kennedy said to his 'client'.

Yes, it's Call Ken. Mr. Kennedy took the psychic's advice, and now people could call him for advice, because he was pretty damn good at giving it.

"Uhm hi... I'm uh, James and uh... Wow are you really Mr. Kennedy?"  
"Yes, what's your problemo?" Ken asked.  
"I'm stuck."  
"In that case you have dialled the right number. Where are you stuck?"  
"Well..." James said. "On the toilet."  
"Ah, common problem, do you have any vaseline?" Ken asked.  
"Yeah."  
"Well, use it, you'll plop free like eh... Like a big showoff."

A few noises were heard on the phone, followed by an actual plopping sound.

"That worked! Thanks Mr. Kennedy!"  
Mr. Kennedy nodded to the phone. "Bye bye!"

The next caller called pretty soon after James, sounding very sad.

"My girlfriend... She left me." The guy sad sobbing. "What do I do?"  
"Well, that is a sad thing..." Mr. Kennedy said. "But... Do you have any vaseline?"  
"Uhw, yes?" The guy said. "So?"  
"Well, in that case there's no need for a woman anyway, I'd say; Have fun! Thanks for calling Ken and goodbye."

Poor Mr. Kennedy had no idea what other solutions there could be for problems... It would've been better had he started a show called '101 uses for vaseline'.


	78. Glasses and a moped

**Inspired by:** My glasses. I bought glasses and I look so cool I don't need contacts anymore. Unless it's raining and I'm riding a coaster lmbo. Oh and my awesome, kick-assmoped, it looks like a motorcycle whoo!

* * *

"So what happened to 'em?" Kozlov asked Jericho.  
"They were wearing glasses..." Chris replied.

They were talking about Cryme Tyme. Both guys were in the hospital with broken limbs, and well, Jericho always knew everything.

"Glasses?" Kozlov asked. "So?"  
"They stole glasses from old ladies because Cena told them girls find guys attractive when they look smart."  
"That still doesn't explain why they're hurt..."  
"I know, I'm getting to that okay?" Chris said. "Anyway, they went to the mall, and they encountered a flight of stairs... Anyway, one of 'em, not sure who, went first..." Y2J continued. "And you know, if you have good eyes it's hard to see through glasses"  
"Yeah, true."  
"So the first one tripped 'cause he didn't see the steps well, and fell on top of the other, and Cryme Tyme kind of fell down the stairs, and broke pretty much everything."  
"Just 'cause they fell?"  
"No." Y2J said. "Because they rolled onto the street and got hit by a really fast moped."


	79. Diary of a Heartbreak Kid

**Inspired by:** Nothing, I'm in a... weird mood. And I like these :D  
Note: please send me more of those 'Superstar + Random word'. I still have... 22 chappies to go.

* * *

August 30, 2008.

09:00  
Got up, still tired, am working out.

09:15  
Am still tired, not working out anymore.

09:42  
Called Chris, told him to ask Dave how to get arms like that...

09:44  
Chris says Dave has implants.

09:55  
I'm getting implants too!

10:14  
Going to see plastic surgeon now...

10:59  
Am back, getting implants this afternoon... being HBK has advantages!

11:09  
At clinic again getting ready. am wearing dresslike pajamas... Feel very sexy... Very very sexy.

11:45  
Chris arrived, will hold my hand when they put me to sleep.

11:49  
Heard Chris talking to nurse. Chris asked if they could put me to sleep forever. Am very worried now.

12:09  
Going to operating room, am still worried.

12:11  
Am laughing, Chris is wearing strange clothes and thingies over over his shoes.

12:18  
Am putting away diary, see you soon. Y2J says hello too... Hello from Y2J diary...

15:09  
Am done, am feeling sick and dizzy. Chris still here, still holding my hand...

15:14  
Realised they did not put me to sleep forever. Dying to see my sexy arms!!

15:56  
Have just seen weird bumps under blanket. Am very confused.

16:40  
Doctor came, says I look awesome. They will show me bandages now.

16:56  
Now own a C-cup... Found out Chris told doctors I wanted boobies... Am so annoyed.

17:09  
Do like boobies though... Hmmmmmmmmmm...

17:31  
Mark came by. CRAP! Mark asked if he could see my boobies. Told him no.

17:38  
Mark tried to slip his hand under the blanket, am grossed out

17:45  
Glen arrived too. Oh joy...

17:55  
And Paul too... What the hell

18:06  
It's crowded here, everyone came to see my boobies. DAMMIT!

18:35  
Dave arrived aswell... Told me my implants probably look better than his. Am happy about that

18:56  
Can go home now. Am going with HHH, 'cause I don't wanna be alone now, and I don't want to go with Chris. Think he might kill me.

19:30  
At Paul's, playing pokemon... Caught a Jigglypuff, am singing Jigglypuff's song now.

19:33  
Paul told me to 'Shut the hell up before he rips my newfound boobies off'.

19:34  
Not talking to Paul anymore.

19:39  
Asked Paul if I could eat something. Dropped my choice to not talk.

19:49  
On the phone with Glen, talking about Mark who's at the mall buying stoves... Wonder why Mark has an obsession with stoves.

20:40  
Told Paul to buy me a bra... If you've got it; flaunt it.

20:41  
Paul said no.

20:44  
Called Ken, asked him to buy me a bra. He asked if I have vaseline.

21:00  
Watching Wrestlemania 24 on dvd... Wonder how Glen appeared in the ring like that

21:04  
Asked Paul, he said he swooshed Glen into the ring. Never knew Paul has been able to use his talent for this long.

21:07  
Skipped to my own match, crying about Ric Flair now. I do look good.

21:43  
Wonder if I'll be considered a diva now, rather than a superstar?

21:50  
Want to tag with Melina.

21:56  
Am very tired, will sleep now. NIGHTNIGHT!


	80. Trade him

I apologise for being away for like what, a week? I was so busy! Meetings, appointments, themeparks and Suikoden V. Great game, I recommend it. I'm back for now lmao.

Sorry dears, can't make up a thing with the two words you people sent me =( I wonder what's wrong with me. (Ugh, I know. Too many hours of Suikoden V) xD I'll try and write now. Only 22 left to go! What a pain.

**Inspired by:** Some girl I talk to on at cult (VF, n/m)

* * *

"Soooo what is the problem?" Ashley asked Melina.  
"Well, I bought a cute pair of pants, and there's a hole in it now..."  
"Oh... How come?"  
Melina sighed. "Well, Mr. Kennedy came by and cut a hole in them."

Silence for a few seconds.

"Well... If there's a hole in it, why not go to the store and trade him?" Ashley asked.  
"You think a store would want to have Ken?" Melina asked confused.

Another silence, a bit longer this time.

"Wait, you weren't talking about Ken, were you?"


	81. Suggestion Box 1

**Inspired by:** Suikoden in general... There's always suggestion box's in them, and the letters crack me up. So here a WWE version.

* * *

The Undertaker was a bit clueless about what to do next. He had defeated the Big Show, and wanted to know what other people thought he should do. So he did what any other clueless man would do, he made a box with a hole in it, and wrote 'Suggestion Box' on it. People could put notes in it with suggestions for the Taker, and hopefull help him figure out his next move.

One day he grabbed the box and emptied it on his bed. Out fell about ten notes from several people. 'Taker decided to take a look at 'em.

_Hell-O._

_I suggest you pack your bags and go back to the flaming pits of hell, where you came from.  
I never want to see you again after all you did to me. Hell ain't pretty, and neither are you, so go back Taker. GO BACK!_

_ADAM EDGE, the one who finally returned from the furious fires beneath the scorched Earth._

"Heh." Taker mumbled. "Who ever thought Adam was full of so many intelligent words..." He picked up the next letter.

_Dear Brother from another mother._

_I set the stove on fire again and replaced it with one of the 100 stoves you stuffed in our garage.  
I'm telling you this through mail, because I don't want you to Piledrive me into the ground if I tell ya in real life._

_Love ya like I love Christmas, which wouldn't be that much,  
Kane with a K for I am not, I repeat, not a Christmassy Person._

"Ugh, stupid." The Phenom moaned. "I need to teach him a lesson or two about playing with fire in my house."  
The next letter was pink, so the Phenom expected it to be from a girl.

_Dear Mark,  
Have you seen my shoes? I can't find my shoes. I put them on the other day, but when I woke up they were gone. I suspect Glen has them, but I have no proof.  
If you get me my shoes back I will buy ya a new hat... That will be stolen again, probably. But it's the thought that counts._

_Love and kisses,  
The Great Dalip._

"Gayness Yayness. He needs a boyfriend." 'Taker sighed. "I'll ask Shawn to date him."  
He took the next letter from the pile.

_Dearest Prince,  
please marry me, we would have damn good-looking kids.  
Love,  
Lyon._

"Wait, what?"

* * *

**There will be a part two, ten letters is too much for one chappie.**


	82. My Little Pony

**Inspired by:** My username.

* * *

_Taker Took my Toys says:_  
Do you know where it went?

_Mark says:_  
whut?

_Taker Took my Toys says:_  
my My Little Pony statue

_Mark says:_  
how the hell should i no

_Taker Took my Toys says:_  
well u took it

_Mark says:_  
I sold it on ebay

_Taker Took my Toys says:_  
to who?

_Mark says:  
_I dunno, his ebay name was 'Slayer'

_Taker Took my Toys says:_  
you think it was Tom araya?

_Mark says:_  
who?

_Taker Took my Toys says:_  
you know, that singer from Slayer?

_Mark says:_  
that guy with curly hair?

_Taker Took my Toys says:_  
yes!!!!!!!

_Mark says:_  
no 'twasn't him

_Taker Took my Toys says:_  
damnit

**Feztuz has been added to the conversation**

_Feztuz says:_  
huh?

_Mark says:  
_Yes, hello

_Feztuz says:_  
hiya.

_Taker Took my Toys says:_  
I want my My Little Pony Statue back! You took it from me. I'm crushed.

_Mark says:_  
sorry hon

_Taker Took my Toys says:_  
tell me who has it plzzzzzzz

_Feztuz says:_  
eh?

_Mark says:_  
I told you, 'Slayer' bought it... Maybe they'll make it their mascotte?

_Mark says:_  
They'll be like 'Before you see the light, you must DIE!' and the My Little Pony will bang and create a moshpit :D

_Taker Took my Toys says:_  
Noooooooooooo it might break, I'm off to find Slayer! I must get my Little Pony Statue back before it gets killed

**Taker Took my Toys has left the conversation**

_Feztuz says:_  
eh? that was odd...

_Mark says:_  
I know.

_Feztus says:_  
Who was it anyway?

_Mark says:_  
Steve Austin, who else?

_Feztuz says:_  
...


	83. Suggestion Box 2

**Inspired by:** More Suikoden... Blabla.  
_Part 2 of Suggestion Box!_ :D  
I really like doing the suggestion box... Hmmm. Might be more of this soon.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own the song 'Schtiel'. Lyrics by Aria. I believe.  
I only know Rammstein's version. Lol.

* * *

'Taker had about six letters left to read, and was already annoyed by the fact nobody actually made serious suggestions. It was more like it was a chatterbox, rather than a suggestion box.  
The Phenom sighed and picked up the next letter.

_Ey ey,  
I wrote you a poem._

_Dear Mark,  
you're in the dark,  
you can't see,  
not even me.  
I stole your hat,  
I stole your coat,  
and now I'm fleeing,  
in a boat.  
The boat is black,  
Kane is red,  
now I'm tired,  
I'm off to bed._

_Neat huh?  
David (The one with the REAL inner talent.)_

"Glen really needs to stop making thiefs out of people." Taker grunted. "At least I know where my stuff went..."

_Undertaker,  
I have your diary.  
If you do not give me 5.000.000 euro's I will have it published!  
MVP._

"Euro's?"

_Dear mister.  
I'm terribly sorry for the previous letter I sent you. It was written for the prince, but I posted it here because I somehow thought this was a mailbox. Which it isn't.  
I don't know you, so I don't want to marry you. I'm sorry for the trouble.  
Lyon._

"That's too bad, she sounded more intelligent than the people in the previous letters." The Phenom said to himself.

_Mark.  
I'm stuck.  
Call Ken._

_  
Wait, I am Ken.  
Never mind._

Undertaker snickered. "Well Ken, I hope you have vaseline."

_Hey man,  
I returned from the Netherlands because I kept harassing the cops by telling 'em about potheads.  
How was I supposed to know pot was legal there?! I don't know everything.  
The My Little Pony Statue has yet to be retrieved, and if I can't get it back I'm holding you responsible for any mental damage the whole ordeal caused me.  
Which means you will be paying for my psychiatrist!  
Stone Cold Steve Austin._

_Ps.  
I bought you and Glen wooden shoes, come pick 'em up soon!_

"Awesome, Austin's back in town!"  
Finally a letter that actually the Phenom happy.

He picked up the last letter from the bed and was immediately confused.

_Undertaker!_

_Shtil' - veter molchit  
nash korabl' zabyt  
Odin, v mire skovannom snom_

_I v poslednij mig  
Podnialas' volna,  
I razdalsia krik:  
"Vperedi Zemlia!"_

_Da?  
Vladimirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr._

"I'm not even going to try and understand that." 'Taker mumbled. "Might be about our upcoming match. He's probably demanding better competition."

He left his room and put the box back in place. Who knew, next time there could actually be an important letter in it.

* * *

**NOTE:** The Russian above is from the song Schtiel... It does not fit the story, but it's the only Russian I could find. For the translation go to and click on lyrics. ^^ Lmao.  
People like boats in this fic. Hmm.


	84. Diary of The Shaman of Sexy

'No i don't think the store will want Ken. He would cut holes in everything and then find the Vaseline'  
That review made me laugh.

**Inspired by:** Nothing at all. Easy way out.

* * *

_Journal of The Shaman of Sexy_

08:30  
Woke up because the Miz is singing in the shower

08:40  
Turned on hot water, Miz is screaming now.

08:44  
Am very very very amused.

09:00  
Am taking a shower myself

09:13  
Am shaking like mad to dry up faster

09:16  
Certain bodyparts should not be looked at while shaking... That's what the Miz said.

09:30  
Found out Miz put hairdye in shampoo. Now have darkblue hair

10:11  
Went to work, Dylan called me a smurf

10:13  
Just realised I am taller than Dylan

10:16  
Locked Dylan away in a closet

10:32  
Asked Glen if he saw my coat. He denies. I think he's keeping secrets from me...

10:43  
Just saw the Game prancing around in my coat. Am very annoyed. And strangely turned on

11:02  
Saw Ken running around, think he's looking for Dylan. Ken's always looking for people who are locked away. I wonder why...?

11:15  
Am at Ken's locker, am checking out his stuff. He only has a microphone and three bottles of vaseline in it...

11:17  
Stole the vaseline.

12:00  
Lunch. Am hungry. Thinking about eating Miz since he calls himself a chickmagnet. Am in the mood for chickenlegs

12:13  
Borrowed sledgehammer, wonder why Glen had it? Trying to catch the Miz so I can cut off his leg

13:02  
Caught Miz, who's begging for his life. I took his hat. I might sell it to Glen

13:05  
Forgot to cut off leg. Dammit.

13:09  
Encountered the Game once again. He stole Miz's hat that I stole before and this just makes all of us thieves. Or something. Will soon cut off the Game's limbs too. He annoys me LOADS

14:13  
Still hungry

14:22  
Asked Khali out to dinner tonight. No use paying, Khali can scare the restaurant's employees and we'll have a free meal

14:43  
Khali cancelled appointment, says he'd rather go out with HBK. Wonder why

15:03  
Locked HBK in a closet. Now Khali will have to go with me

15:43  
Saw Mark standing upside down and Steve drinking milk. Is it one of those days where nothing makes sense?

15:55  
Saw Punk smoke cigarette. Confirmed this day is really not making a lot of sense.

16:09  
Saw Glen be nice to Rey. Am worried now.

17:04  
Am going out to dinner. Not with Khali, Ken somehow freed HBK before I could even ask Khali again. Am with Y2J now.

17:30  
Y2J says he's an inventor. I asked him to make me robot out of cardboard

17:33  
Y2J ate four pounds of meat in less than half an hour. What the heck is going on?

18:03  
Khali and HBK entered restaurant, HBK carried Khali. I wonder how he got so strong?

18:09  
Y2J is talking... A lot. About Undertaker, inventions, some weird band and his hair. Am very annoyed

18:14  
Am jealous of HBK, wonder if he wants to do partner swapping

19:01  
Left restaurant, don't think Chris noticed, he was still talking about his hair. I don't like his hair... It's too short.

19:30  
Home. Miz is watching Pokemon, told him to spend less time with HHH and Glen

19:33  
Miz told me he doesn't like me anymore and wants to tag with HHH. Am very confused...

19:44  
Miz pretended to be in DX, am even more annoyed. Did sweet chin music on him, I knocked his head off

20:12  
Making desperate attempts to glue head back on

20:18  
Gave up. Buried Miz in garden.

20:45  
Tired, going to bed, nightnight.

02:13  
Woke up from strange sound... Am so worried it might be my ex-friend crawling into the house, headless and ugly.

02:43  
Found out it was Paul. Stupid showoff, wonder how he fits under my bed.

03:10  
Am in jail. Paul the Big Showoff told the cops I sweet chin musiced Miz's head off and I'm now facing 17 years in prison

04:01  
Called Ken... Believe me, I'll be out before morning.


	85. Finish the Sentence again!

What happened?!?! It's changed! Everything's changed! I don't deal well with change. Ugh, what a pain -.-  
Hmmm.  
Odd.

**Inspired by:** Nothing! It's tradition, remember?

* * *

"Wait! I've got it!" Rey exclaimed happily. "While we wait for our Brasilian wax we can play a game!"  
"I'm from Brasil, I'll go first." Umaga said dryly.

Umaga was turning into a strange man, thinking he came from Brasil and there were lions made of ice in Iceland.  
Ahwell, let's not worry about Umaga too much, it was time to play a game... Time to play THE game!

"Dude, you're not from Brasil. You never were and you never will be, unless you move there." Kane sighed. "Let's play charades."

Some people stared at the Big Red Machine, they weren't used to him wanting to play a game, never mind a lame game that is.

"Uhm, I was thinking more in the direction of Finish the Sentence." Rey said to Kane. "We haven't done that in a while..."  
Kane glared at Rey. "Shut up you fool!"

More started to stare at Kane.

"Uhm..." Jeff scratched his throat. "Let's play before Glen completely turns into Mr. T okay?"  
Smirks and laughter, and sighs from Kane and Umaga.  
"Yeah, let's play the game."

Triple H, as always, started off, and, still as always, everyone finished a sentence.  
When they were done The King of Kings stood up and unfolded the paper with a dramatic face and started to read out loud.

_'Once upon a time there was..._  
Carlito.  
_He tried to..._  
buy himself some nachos  
_But he failed because..._  
he didn't have vaseline  
_So when his brother came over he..._  
Ran him over with a moped  
_And accidently ended up..._  
getting boobs!!!!! Damn you Y2J!  
_But it worked out okay because..._  
we traded Mr. Kennedy  
_And in the end..._  
There were no usefull letters in the Suggestion box, so don't expect something rawesome'

Carlito looked up confused. "Boobs? Where? Did I miss something?" He sighed. "Damnit!"


	86. How does that fit? 3

Inspired by: Nothing, my computer is too damn slow to do anything besides writing. ARGH!  
It's seriously driving me in-sane in the mem-brane. Dammit.

* * *

"Did you hear that?" CM Punk said to THE Brian Kendrick.  
"Hear what?" Brian asked confused. "Are you hearing things again?"  
"Hmmmm... Maybe."

Punk had noticed the strange sounds coming from some strange thing standing near them.

"What is that anyway?" Brain asked Punk.  
Punk shrugged. "I dunno, it's making strange sounds, I ain't getting any closer to that... thing."

Brian sighed and walked up to where Punk heard the noises coming from and took a look to find out what was going on.

"Well?" Punk yelled.  
"It's a casket... A pink casket!" Brian yelled back, smirking.  
"Is it big?"  
Brian shook his head. "No, not really."  
"Ooooh okay... Check what's in it!" Punk yelled from afar.

Brian tried to open the casket to find out if there was something inside, but he hesitated when he too heard a noise.

"Someone's... knocking." He mumbled under his breath.  
"Dude, what's going on?" Punk yelled, still not getting any closer.  
"It's knocking!" Brian yelled back, taking a few steps away from the freaky thing. "I dunno what's going on!"

Suddenly the casket opened and someone sat up while making freaky noises.  
Brian decided he shouldn't wait to see what was inside and ran away, screaming like a little girl.

In the meanwhile Punk was practically rolling on the floor, laughing like a madman.  
"Man." He said to the Big Show. "That really worked!"  
The Big Show smiled. "I'm great at scaring people..."  
Punk nodded, still laughing. "But seriously..." He said. "How does that fit?"


	87. Futuresight 2

**Inspired by:** Still nothing, still annoyed by slow computer. Yugh.

* * *

My name is still Shawn Michaels, I am still the Heartbreak Kid, and if you remember everything you've been reading you might remember I have been given the gift of futuresight.  
My friend HHH might know how to swoosh things to pieces, my friend The Big Showoff might be able to hide in very tiny places and my not-so-dear friend Kane may be able to steal whatever he wants, but none of them can do what I can do.  
Which would be take a look into the future.

After my quite recent plastic surgery, in which I received implants in the wrong places, I feel my gift has been developing itself.  
Maybe the boobs gave me female intuition? Who knows... Here's some recent dreams I had regarding my friends, and their paths to and through the future.

(Wait, did the implants gave me a bigger brain too? I feel so smart!)

**Santino Marella**  
He will beat the astounding record of the Honkey Tonk man and he will be intercontinental champion for 94 weeks... Sadly enough after 94 weeks he loses the championship to Kane, because Kane, as you might know, has been stealing championships.  
After that he gets so sad he quits wrestling and builds his own Pizzahut.  
I will become a regular customer there...

**Festus **  
Remember Festus? While Kane was trying to becoming a bunny, Festus was trying to become a Super Saiyan.  
He finally succeeds after Jesse rings the bell for the 2010th. time and he not only blows his house to smithereens, but Jesse aswell.  
Festus won't die, because he's with Kane, and they live happily ever after, on Planet Namek. Well, happily... Festus makes a few attempts to kill the Big Red Machine, but gives up after Kane showed him his...  
LET US MOVE ON!

**Kozlov **  
Ah, the giant Russian man who talks a lot, but never makes sense.  
Everybody knows that despite Vlad can be annoying, intimidating and freaky, he's actually the smartest wrestler ever.  
Don't tell Kane though... He might not want to know.  
Anyway, Vlad ends up with a show called 'Kozlov Knows Best.'  
Hulk Hogan finds out about this and visits Kozlov in the middle of the night, and Hogan will strangle Kozlov with his yellow feather boa.

**Hogan **  
When he finds out he doesn't know best anymore he starts a carreer as a hunter.  
He hunts his butt off (literally), and he and his family will eat duck for the rest of their lives.  
One day Hogan turns the tv on, and sees Kozlov's show 'Kozlov Knows Best.'  
He goes out to kill Kozlov but is found by the police before he had a chance to flee to Afghanistan.  
His comments on the fact that maybe a bunch of canaries killed Kozlov don't do him much good, and he will be in jail for an astounding 9 months.  
After that he breaks free, with his red boa, and lives a quiet live on an island in the North Sea.  
When he's 80 the Undertaker will come for his soul, and that would be the end of Hulk Hogan.

I'm tired now, and my boobs hurt, so it might be a good idea to call it a day.  
Don't forget, I'm HBK and I'm still a sexy boy.  
See you later my loves.


	88. Emo

I'm so running out of ideas. The end is nigh! Of the story, not the real end, that wouldn't be good, now would it?  
Hummmm.  
**Inspired by:** Emo's. Because I had my hair cut off again and I dyed it black again... So people think I'm an emo again.  
Don't get me wrong here, I love emo's, my niece is one and she's the sweetest, but since there's this whole emo-hype I feel like being too prejudging and stereotypical.

* * *

The Phenom stepped into the room and looked around, hoping he wouldn't run into anyone. He didn't feel like seeing people today. No, he didn't feel like seeing people for at least three more years.

"Halt!" A voice came from behind him. "Who would you be?"  
'Taker turned around to come face to face with JBL, whose eyes widened at the sight of the Deadman.  
"I... Mark... I... What happened??!" JBL yelled, half laughing, half shocked.

Yes, shocked, because the lovely Undertaker had short hair. His hair was short and black, and the last time he had short hair was... Well, quite a while ago.

"I got attacked by a lawnmower." 'Taker said dryly.  
"Oh my... You look so evil!" JBL said. "You're so... Emo..."  
'Taker sighed. "Damnit... Seriously, I was cutting the grass, and some dude came around on a lawnmower and he wanted to help me..." 'Taker shook his head. "But I didn't see him, and when I stepped back he rode into me, and look what happened!"  
"Hmmmm..." JBL nodded.  
"So I had to go to the doctor, because he hurt my arm, and I had to get my hair cut because my hair got messed up aswell..."  
JBL nodded. "How odd... And handy in a way." He seemed to think for a moment. "I wish my hair was emo, so it would cut itself."


	89. Kane's Problem

**Inspired by:** Suikoden? Heck I've been playing the damn games so many times I actually dream about 'em.  
Is that bad?  
Hm.  
I wonder why, but, how very random, I've been giggling a lot today. In fact, I can't stop.  
So even if this chappie is bad, at least I had a blast.

* * *

The Big Red Machine got fired. Somehow the big bosses in the WWE decided to 'let him go' because of his evil new hobby which, as we all know, would be stealing.  
Now don't forget it's Kane. Kane is Kane, therefore he didn't leave until he stole every single championshipbelt he could find.  
Everybody that saw him wondered how he ever became Cruiserweight champion, but that's besides the point.

If you get fired you do one thing; Get a new job.  
But what is a sick, demented, red monster supposed to do? Kane himself didn't know, therefore he stole his 'brother's' idea, and made himself a suggestion box. Everybody that had an idea about what path to take considering his new carreer could leave him a note, and maybe, just maybe, Kane would find himself a fitting, new job.

One day Kane got up, set the stove on fire again, replaced it with a stove from the storage again, and emptied the box on the table.  
Yes, there was a storage for stoves, made by the Phenom, but once again, that's besides the point.

_'Dear Kane,  
become an assasin. I like the word assassin, it has ass in it. Two, as a matter of fact.  
Please, do it for me.  
Love you like always,  
Paul the Game'_

Kane shrugged, he was the Big Red Machine, he could fight... Triple H could actually have a point this time.  
Kane could care less about the ass though.

_'Glen.  
Come back, ever since I started tagging with Umaga we've been losing every single match, because he doesn't like me.  
Big Daddy Viscera, the world's largest lovemachine.'_

Kane shrugged again. So they lost, who cares? It's not like they would be able to win a belt anyway, since Kane had it already.

_'Charizard,  
I caught a Haunter and somehow it keeps killing me, send me your awesome Torkoal so I can blow it to smithereens.  
Also, I think my boobs really bring out the best in me. I didn't even know there was something of that left.  
Pachirisu'_

Kane was starting to get concerned about HBK. Shawn had been acting odd lately, and Kane really hated Y2J for making the plastic surgeon give Shawn boobies.  
Then again, Kane did like touching Shawn's boobs, so he wouldn't complain about it...

_'Are you free, mr. Humphrey?'_

"What?" Kane mumbled. "That damn Regal needs to stop calling me Humphrey."

_'GLEN!  
I told you you need to stop setting things on fire in my house!  
If you do not I will throw you outta the house, so you'll have more to worry about than just getting a new job damnit.  
I suggest you join the circus, you can be like, the bearded lady. I don't know why, but you could.  
I hate you, and if you don't start behaving soon you'll be a Dead Man aswell!  
The Phenom, the Undertaker, Deadman walking, the older brother of Destruction, or just Mark.'_

"Ugh, what a pain." Kane suddenly let out a laugh." Shawn would make a greater bearded lady though."

_'Dear Monster,  
did you become an assassin yet? Ass Ass in. In what? Asses in what?  
Why?  
WHY!  
Oh the pain, the pain! Why does it always have to be me?!!!!!!!!!!!!'_

"Eh?" It appeared not having Kane around drove Triple H over the edge.

_'Glen man,  
it appears not having you around drove Paul over the edge.  
You shoulda seen Edge's face when it happened.  
Haha hahaha hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa  
Rey'_

"Rey..." Kane mumbled. "Rey..." He tore apart the note Rey wrote him and ate it afterwards.  
"Rey... I still haven't massacred you..." The Big Red Machine laughed like a... well, Big Red Machine. "Soon Rey, very soon..."

Kane took another close look at the notes people left, but his mind was set on Rey Mysterio.

"Ooyaka Booyaka... Guess who'll be making a comeback?"


	90. WWE revealed 1 outta 3

**Inspired by:** Nothing still. I'm still awfully amused. Must be because of the word assassin.  
Whole new idea, whole new chapters.  
Note: This might be chappie 1/3 of WWE revealed, 'cause in one it would be too damn long.

* * *

"New edition out now, please get one at Mr. Kennedy's room tonight!" Carlito yelled.  
There was a new edition of _'WWE revealed, the things that should've been kept a secret to the grave'.  
_It was kind of like a newspaper, and only the WWE-superstars were allowed to read them, because if some of the things ever got out in public.  
Oh, we shouldn't even think about that.

Edge grabbed the new edition and started to read a few messages with catchy headlines.

**'Massacre shocks... Well nobody,**  
_Finally, after months of threatening, roaring like a thunderstorm and pacing around like a polarbear on fire our beloved Kane has done the inevitable... He has killed Rey with his rarely-seen fire-breathing trick.  
Rey instantly caught on fire because just five minutes before Kane killed him he had been playing around with barbies and gasoline.  
Nobody knows why Rey was playing around with barbies. Our secret undercover detectives, whose names should never be mentioned, yes I mean you Umaga and Stone Cold, are now trying to find what exactly motivated Mysterio to play with the plastic dolls.  
We'll make sure you'll find out more right after our secret detectives Umaga and Stone Cold come back from McDonalds.  
Ken-'_

"I'm so sick of this." Edge heard someone say behind him. Edge turned around to come face to face, or well, belly to face, with Rey Mysterio. Edge gasped, stepped back and ran away. "Holy Hell, a ghost!"

Rey just stood there, shaking his head silently. "Barbie." He sighed. "I don't play with barbies, I'm a man, I got G.I. Joe."


	91. WWE revealed 2 outta 3

**Inspired by:** Assassins. WHOOOOO.  
Ass ass in.  
I'm seriously laughing my ass out, I'm even crying a little, someone tell me why I find assassin such a funny word!  
I'm having so much fun, more than when I wrote Diary of a Deadman.

* * *

**'Ass ass in.**  
_Somehow ever since Kane was fired, our friend the Game has been going through a tough time.  
Nobody knew he had issues, but ever since Kane's gone the issues have been starting to show... We're very worried about this, and some have suggested Triple H should see a shrink as soon as possible.  
Triple H's comment on this, when I interviewed him, was;_ "Hell, I ain't needin' sum help, I gotst Kane, an if sumeone annoys me I tell Kane, who became an assassin 'cause I told him.  
Ass Ass in... Ass ass out? I dunno, but ass as sin bothers me. Does your ass sin? Mine sure as hell don't!"  
_We're still trying to figure out what the hell this all was supposed to mean.  
Until our new secret detectives who need to stay incognito, yes I mean you 'Taker and Shawn, come back from searching for clues about H's twisted brain we'll just pray his mental condition is not contagious.  
- Ken'  
_

**'WEATHER!**  
_by; Kozlov_  
There will be wind, there will be rain. There will be sun and there will be pain.  
I don't know when, I don't know where, but I ensure you; 'twill be there!'

**'Riddle!**  
_**How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?  
**Right answers you may send to Mr. Kennedy.  
Wrong answers you may send to Melina.  
The right answer is Mr. Kennedy.  
Price: A lifesupply of wood.'_

**'IMPORTANT!**  
_Lately we have been getting complaints about people afraid of their secrets leaking out.  
I suggest you keep this paper dry, it's a newspaper, of course the letters fade if they get wet!  
Dry paper, no leaking.  
- Ashley'_

**'IMPORTANT! 2**  
_We're in desperate need of new detectives because somehow people keep finding out about who the detectives are.  
This is just wrong, they're secret, so 'Taker and Shawn, make sure nobody finds out!  
In the meanwhile you can apply for a job as a secret detective. Your first mission would be to infiltrate and exterminate Triple H's brain.  
For more info, come see me.  
- Ken'_

* * *

'tis official, I'm insane. And having a blast.  
I'm sorry for writing so many chapters, but I have to go on, only 10 more if I'm correct... YAY


	92. WWE revealed 3 outta 3

Today I read my horoscope and it said I have 101 ideas for Sinterklaas (Dutch holiday)  
I wish it would've said that about this story before I started writing it... Coincidental? 101.  
ARGH!

**Inspired by:** Assassins. I'm still so extremely amused... Omg.  
Part 3/3 of WWE revealed.

* * *

**'Decapitation by Feather Duster?**  
_A few days ago rumor had it that the Big Showoff made an attempt to steal a radio from a videostore.  
Nobody knows why the world's largest athlete tried to, but another rumor had it that someone, I'm not mentioning names, yes I mean you Santino, made him do it.  
When the Big Showoff made an attempt to exit the store with the radio the employee saw him. To make sure Showoff wouldn't get away he threatened him with a feather duster.  
After Showoff walked away, he wasn't very impressed by the duster, the employee tried to behead the large, bald man with the damn thing.  
In my interview with him I asked him what it was like to almost be decapitated by a feather duster... Showoff's comment to that was;_ "It tickled."  
_I'm impressed by his vocabulary.  
The employee of the store is facing six years in jail for trying to murder the Big Show. Somehow something does not seem right.  
- Finlay'  
_

**'Stuck again!**  
_Yes, he's stuck again. Mr. Kennedy has already been spending 4 days in a row in a huge wooden shoe.  
Nobody knows why Mr. Kennedy sat down in the strangely-shaped boat, but he got stuck, and that is why I am writing right now.  
We have decided to let our strongest people pull him out, because somehow vaseline didn't work, and it's impossible to saw the damn thing to pieces.  
We hope Ken will leave the wooden shoe soon, and in one piece... Because I think if we can not get him out, we might need to saw Mr. Kennedy into pieces himself.  
How inconvenient.  
- Finlay'  
_

**'For sale/wanted**

_**Wanted:**  
I'm looking for a new chickencoop, Glen stole mine.  
Please bring it to me before my chicken dies because it's living in the closet now.  
Khali._

_**For sale:**  
Large wooden shoe, including Ken, please don't bring it to work though.  
The Undertaker._

_**Wanted:**  
New detectives. Send applications to Finlay until Ken returns.  
Finlay._

_**Wanted:  
**Brains.  
Carlito._

_**For sale:**  
Many championshipbelts. Price to be discussed. At least 2 million dollar each though.  
Kane._

_**For sale:**  
Kane, including belts, many masks, coats, hats, pants, props and other things.  
10 bucks for the whole thing. Or trade for a new stove.  
The Undertaker_

_**Wanted:**  
Torkoal, Pikachu, Raichu, Alakazam, Lugia, Doduo and Porygon.  
Will trade for: Haunter, Hoppip, Houndoom, Pachirisu or Charizard.  
Shawn.  
_

**'One more thing.**  
_Please keep us informed whenever something happens, or when new facts come to light.  
Make sure you don't get recognised as a secret detective, because secrets should be kept secrets.  
Don't talk to Triple H too much and try to avoid Kane.  
That was more than one more thing.  
Until next time,  
-Finlay  
_

With a large sigh Edge put down the paper, and looked around if Rey was still there... When he found out Rey wasn't he decided to do what Edge's do... Steal MVP's M&M's, and hope he wouldn't be revealed in the next edition of...

WWE REVEALED!

* * *

Whoooooooooooooooooooooo... I hope you liked it, 'cause I had so much fun writing xD  
Assassin...


	93. Another Diary of the Deadman

Okay weird, I told my brother I find the word assassin funny, and now he keeps saying it whenever I'm annoying him. That's not cute.

**Inspired by:** My extremely weird family. And wooden shoes...  
Note: I was thinking about more diaries of dead men? I mean of the Deadman, but I might change my mind. I mean... Oh whatever.  
R&R please, only few more to gooooo... Hooooo. ENJOY!

* * *

Dear journal, today was quite a busy day...

09:02  
Woke up because Glen was singing along to Culture Club. I still don't know why the hell he likes Boy George so much.  
On the other hand, I saw a pic of Mr. T and Boy George, so maybe Glen's taking after him.

09:07  
Shut Glen up by yelling: Holy hell, I'm out of fishsticks

09:15  
Happily sitting on coach, alone. Glen ran to the mall and will not be back for a while, because he always gets lost.

09:28  
Am watching Oprah again. Oprah says even criminals have a good side, we're all good people...

09:33  
Will arrange for Oprah to meet Glen and Ken

09:36  
That is, if Ken ever finds a way outta that wooden shoe he's still stuck in

10:33  
Tired, want to go to bed but can not, called Regal... Regal said: 'Are you being served'  
I wonder why? Told him no...

10:36  
Regal asked if Mr. Humphrey is here.  
Told him no.

10:38  
Am cursing at Regal, don't think he understands anyway.

10:47  
Writing loveletter to Khali, just to practise.  
'Dear giant,  
am so turned on by your big hands, wonder what they're capable of.  
Meet me at the loo around midnight,  
Marky Mark without the Funky Bunch

10:52  
Did I say 'loo'? Mental note to self: Spend less time with Regal

10:55  
Doorbell rang, am not in the mood to stand up...

10:58  
Still ringing, still sitting on my butt

10:59  
Still same old story, yelled 'I am sitting on my ass, leave!'

11:05  
Found out it's Paul, because he said 'Assassin, Assassout, outta that damn chair before I make you pay'  
Am soooo not opening door.

11:07  
Am not even sitting on a chair, am sitting on the ground, hiding for the parrots. Glen bought two parrots, and when they see me they say 'Harr Harr Ho ho ho... MarkyMark is a man-ho' Am not amused.

11:18  
Playing game... With myself 'cause all alone

11:19  
Realised how wrong that sounds

11:25  
Paul still outside, now singing songs about clowns. Why?  
Uhw.

11:44  
Neighbour came by, heard Paul yell: 'Don't worry, it ain't my blood'  
Am very worried now, call the police?

11:54  
No police, Glen came back and let Paul in. Parrots yelled 'Ho ho ho, har harrrr, the assassin ain't farrrrrr awayyy'  
Wonder who the hell taught them that.  
Think it might be Apple, since Apple thought the SantaClause said Har Harrrr on me wooden parrot or something.

12:00  
It's twelve o'clock, do you know where you're weener is?  
Yes, I do. Damnit. I need to watch less tv.

12:08  
Glen and Paul have left the building, with the parrots. On a bicycle. Glen was steering and Paul cycling, and they looked dumb.  
Can't imagine Glen being an assassin, it makes no sense at all. Assassins don't have parrots...

12:13  
Or bicycles.

12:18  
Unless they're undercover assassins, pretending to be paperboys, because they have to kill the cardealer.

12:27  
Assassins are not supposed to be bald. Glen is bald, his hair froze off, therefore he'd be bad at it.  
Still think he should join the circus.

12:42  
Phone rang, picked up. It's Melina. Refuses to tell me why she called, just asking if the coast is clear.  
Told her I don't know, I live miles away from the ocean.

12:45  
Just realised what she meant. OH JOY!

13:52  
Melina left, told me she wanted Glen. Told him his parrots escaped on a bicycle because the paperboy wanted to kill the cardealer.  
Am very annoyed.

14:04  
Going to see Ken now. In his shoe.

14:36  
Ken's still stuck, and his boat keeps floating away whenever I push it.  
Quite amusing.

14:59  
Ken's on the middle of the lake, and he has nothing to paddle with. I wonder what to do now?  
Usually I'd say: Call Ken... But that ain't possible.  
Wait, why wouldn't that be possible?

15:09  
Called Ken.  
"Ken, man, you're stuck..." I said.  
"I know..." Ken said.  
"Got any vaseline?" I asked.  
And I hung up. Serves him right for that time he did the same to me when I was stuck in a closet.

15:17  
Ken called me back.  
"MarkyMark, go get some help." He said.  
"Why?" "Because I don't want to spend the night on the middle of this damn lake."  
I hung up and stalked off, I think I know a way to get Ken home.

16:02  
Went back to lake to help Ken. Made him a set of wheels so he can ride around in the damn wooden shoe.  
Told him it's very multifunctional to be able to get around on both water and land.  
Ken's complaining, he'd rather be able to walk around again.  
Meh. Am never helping Ken again...

16:09  
Ken's starting to roll downhill... Oh ohh...

16:21  
Ken crashed into a tree, just like I did when I was riding my car... The wooden shoe broke into pieces, but Ken's still alive, even though there was no airbag.  
Ken's indestructable.

17:01  
Back home, Ken's no fun when he's his usual self.

17:06  
Glen came home with his damn parrots.  
The stupid birds saw me and said 'Har har harrrr ho ho, MarkyMark is a man-ho... How very original is it not?  
I think I might feed them to Bunchlax, Glen won't mind if it was Bunchlax's fault they're dead meat.

17:14  
Phone rang, am on the phone and writing, 'cause it's Cena, and whenever Cena's on the phone there is no need to listen anyway. Cena always talks about Ken, and that's that.  
"Marky I heard you freed Ken."  
_Silence, I am writing.  
_"Thanks for that Marky, I owe you big time!"  
_... What to write? A novel?_  
"And I was hoping you'd come to my party..."  
_What about a romance novel? About Khali? And HBK?_  
"We're celebrating the day Ken was freed from the wooden shoe!"  
_Cena is messing with my concentration, must make him stop talking._  
"And we'll have chips and cola, and I know you love cola..."  
_Glen loves cola, I don't. I only drink blood._  
"And I promise you..."  
Interrupted Cena by yelling: "Shut the hell up before I seperate your head from your body"  
It worked.

17:30  
Watching Oprah again, Oprah said anger can shorten your life.  
Am thinking of ways to anger Glen.

17:34  
What the hell? Bubba called, and said: "Bubba brought blue bears because bows buy blisters." and hung up.  
I wonder what that man has in his head, instead of a brain.

17:45  
Bubba called again and said. "Bubba's bright books breed bleeding bees"  
I think Bubba might be writing a novel aswell?

18:09  
Bubba called once again and said: "Did you know your entrance theme starts with 'BOING"?  
Told him no, but he hung up already, I don't think he understands the concept of phones?

18:15  
Called Bubba, who didn't reply to my question of 'What's going on'  
I hung up.

18:18  
Bubba called me back, and told me that everytime I want an answer from him, I should say 'over' like they're walkie-talkies.  
"Marky Marky, have you seen Kozlov lately? Over!"  
I shook my head.  
"Marky Marky, now you can speak OVER!"  
"Oh shut up..."  
Hung up and threw phone out of window. Don't want to speak to Bubba anymore. At least not for a whole day.

18:23  
A man came to my door, with a bump on his head... Appears I threw the phone to his head.  
Quite a funny sight, if I say so myself. I crack myself up these days.

18:30  
Bubba's here! Am hiding.

18:34  
Bubba's in the house, because Glen let him in... The parrots said 'Harr harrr ho ho ho, Marky's Bubba's man-ho.  
Seriously thinking about doing something to the parrots...

18:45  
Listening to Bubba and Glen argueing about bees. Blue bees... Someone tell me where I can find blue bees. If you ask me Bubba made them up... And Glen, well Glen is just too gullible.

19:12  
Oh Joy, Paul decided to join us aswell... He yelled "Assassin, assassout, I'm comin' in and I will shout! Shout shout, let it all out..." And he sang a song by Tears for Fears while dancing in the doorpost.  
I wish he'd dance into the damn doorpost and get knocked the heck out.

19:18  
And yes, Jeff is here too. What is going on? Why is Jeff wearing corpse-paint?  
Why are they all here? Is there a gathering of the insane going on in my house?  
They better not set anything on fire, for I will decapitate them with my lightsaber.  
Huhaaaa Glen, I ain't your father. Ugh.

19:31  
Bubba is dancing. Why is he dancing? Why do people always dance? Why? Why? Why?  
My legs itch.

19:48  
Am dancing too. Whoooooooooooooooo!

19:56  
Danced into doorpost myself, will go to bed, have a headache now.  
Off for the day, bye and adios...

Oh hell, who am I kidding? Nobody will ever read this.

* * *

That was awfully long... Oh dear.


	94. Ho ho ho, harrr harrr, Merry Christmas

The end is nigh... Whoohoo! It's sad but damn, finally. 101 is a lot more than I expected.

Ahem 101 is 101, but who knew it'd be so hard? Haha xD

**Inspired by:** Snow! Holy Heavens, it's snowing!!!! In the Netherlands! That usually happens in April. I'm so happyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy :D :D :D

Christmas edition, because we're nearing the end, and I always do Christmas editions. And easter editions... And sometimes new-years editions... Okay, plenty of ideas, we'll make it...

Enjoy!

* * *

**SCSA:** Guess who's back, back again, Stone Cold's back, call a friend

**SCSA:** uhm, am I alone?

**SCSA: **dammnittt

**SCSA: **Merry X-mas Austin^^

_Cane has entered the chatroom_

**Cane:** damn

**SCSA:** yeah? GLEN?!

**Cane:** what??!

**SCSA:** I missed youuuuu 3

**Cane:** uh ooh.

**SCSA:** I thought you weren't a Christmassy person?

**Cane:** Im not

**SCSA:** then why... ?

**Cane:** I dont no

**SCSA:** Hmmmm

_Apple has entered the chatroom_

**Apple:** It's me, I spit in the face of people who refuse to be cool

**SCSA:** Glen! DODGE!

**Cane:** thats not funneh

**Apple: **har har har, yes it is.

**Cane:** har har har??!

**Apple:** harrrr.

**SCSA:** pirate?

**Apple:** uhm, no? why?

**SCSA:** pirates go har har?

**Apple:** I was SantaClause?

**Cane:** I'm not Christmassy, but Santa dont do har har har...

**Apple:** not?

**SCSA:** no, pirates do har har harrrrr matey, savvy? yay me matey, I gotst a wooden parrot

**Cane:** don't you mean wooden leg?

**SCSA:** what's the difference -_-

**Cane: **you don't walk on parrots...

**SCSA: **says who?

**Cane:** ... ugh

**Apple:** then what does santa do?

**SCSA: **ho ho ho, Merryyyy Christmassss!

**Apple:** okay... -_- Ho ho hooooooooo hahaha hoohoohoho

**Apple:** santa must be easily amused.

**Cane:** _sighs_

_Deadman-Walking has entered the chatroom_

**Cane: **oh no...

**Apple:** no, not really

**SCSA:** eh? did I miss anything?

**Deadman-Walking:** it is I, the Phenom, the Deadman, the Undertaker and a Badass too!

**SCSA:** It is I, stone cold steve austin, at your service

**Apple:** Ho Ho Hoooooo Harrrrr

**Cane: **yo bro, whazzaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

**Deadman-Walking:** damnit glen, if you don't stop setting everything on fire I will eat Bunchlax!

**Cane:** NOOOO!

**SCSA: **what'd he do this time?

**Deadman-Walking:** the christmas tree...

**Apple:** Ho Hooo eh? you have a X-mas tree?

**SCSA:** how very lame

**Apple: **be nice to Glen Mark, you're the brothers of Destruction...

**SCSA: **yeah! you're supposed to destroy everything!

**Deadman-Walking:** ugh -_-

**Apple:** so? what's everyone doing for X-mas?

**Deadman-Walking:** the usual

**Apple:** stealing people's souls?

**Deadman-Walking:** yep, and eating

**Cane:** I wanna go to the Hardyzzzz, cuz I wanna play a game with jeff

**Deadman-Walking:** eh?

**Cane:** jeff told me he has a new game

**Deadman-Walking:** what's that have to do with christmas?

**Cane:** nothing at all.

**Deadman-Walking:** _sighs_

**Apple:** ho ho ho harrrrrrrrrrrrrrr me wooden parrot matey

**Deadman-Walking:** xcuse me?

**Apple:** I'm a pirateclause, and I'm going to give ppl presents from a boat

**Deadman-Walking:** have fun

**Apple:** I will harrrrrrrrr i must go now

**Deadman-Walking:** joy! :D

**Apple:** fu mark, stfu! asl? lol fyi roflmao

**Deadman-Walking:** I couldn't have said it better

**Apple:** BYE!

**Cane:** bye Carlitooooo

**SCSA:** later clause

**Apple:** Ho ho ho harrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

_Apple has left the chatroom_

**SCSA:** I love that guy

**Cane:** yugh

**Deadman-Walking:** my point exactly

_Beth has entered the chatroom_

**Beth:** morning men

**Beth:** and glen

**Deadman-Walking:** that rhymed

**Beth: **I know, David brought out my inner talent

**Cane:** I'm a man too

**Beth:** I know, I was exploring my inner talent

**Cane:** oh 'kay

**Beth:** whazzup this christmas?

**Deadman-Walking:** a party at Kozlov's

**Beth:** oh? I wasn't invited

**Deadman-Walking: **nobody was, we invited ourselves

**Beth:** does vlad know?

**SCSA: **not yet...

**Beth: **how convenient^^

**Deadman-Walking:** my point exactly, invite your lady friends Beth, we're gonna party like russians

**Beth:** how do they party?

**Deadman-Walking:** like russians -_-

**Beth:** I'll wear a dress

**Cane: **yeah me too

**SCSA: **... ugh

**Beth:** it's snowing

**SCSA:** why?

**Cane:** wtf?

**SCSA:** nvm, I'm confused, I gotta go

**Cane:** why?

**SCSA: **I need to scrub, bathe, shave and put on my base-make-up

**Cane:** oooh okidoki dude, catch ya kozlov's

**SCSA:** bye-os!

_SCSA has left the chatroom_

**Beth:** glen? what dress ya wearing?

**Cane:** something red and black

**Beth: **how original of you...

**Deadman-Walking:** I can't stand men in dresses

**Cane:** you wear dresses too, I saw it

**Deadman-Walking:** xcuse me?

**Cane:** a pink one, you pretended to be a ballerina

**Beth: **is their footage of that?

**Cane: **.

**Beth:** THANKS :D

_Beth has left the chatroom _

**Deadman-Walking:** I hate you

**Cane:** not the time, it's His b-day, let's be happyyyyy

**Deadman-Walking:** wanna make a snowman?

**Cane:** yeah, seems like a good idea^^

_Cane has left the chatroom_

_Deadman-Walking has left the chatroom_

_KozlovesChristmas has entered the chatroom_

**KozlovesChristmas:** someone tell me party at whose?

**KozlovesChristmas:** damnit

**KozlovesChristmas:** still alone in space and time

**KozlovesChristmas:** I'll just call Ken

_KozlovesChristmas has left the chatroom_


	95. Just a dream?

**Inspired by:** My niece and our insane conversations, that never cease to both amaze and slightly scare me.

* * *

_Kozlove says:_  
But why B's? Why not x's?

_Bubba's bees bring bears to ballrooms says:_  
'cause my name ain't xubba. though that would be amusing...

_Kozlove says:_  
if you say so...

_Bubba's bees bring bears to ballrooms says:_  
I say so

_Kozlove says:_  
I can tell...

_Bubba's bees bring bears to ballrooms says:_  
I'm glad...

_Kozlove says:_  
I'm glad that you're glad.

_Bubba's bees bring bears to ballrooms says:_  
That's sooo Pokemon!

_Kozlove says:  
_I know^^

_Bubba's bees bring bears to ballrooms says:  
_I'm glad...

_Kozlove says:_  
I'm glad you're glad, lad.

_Bubba's bees bring bears to ballrooms says:_  
Bubba's bright blues buy buzzing bees.

_Kozlove says:  
_you gotta stop doing that...

_Bubba's bees bring bears to ballrooms says:_  
you try...

_Bubba's bees bring bears to ballrooms says:_  
Kozlov's... fill in the blanks.

_Kozlove says:_  
No... Listen I had a dream right?

_Bubba's bees bring bears to ballrooms says:_  
really why??!

_Kozlove says:_  
'Cause I was asleep dumbass... Anyway I'm trying to tell you something!

_Bubba's bees bring bears to ballrooms says:_  
awesome, do tell!

_Kozlove says:_  
I was at my room, and everyone came in, yelling merry christmas, and they drank punch, and I drank vodka, and I passed out outside, and they trashed the place...

_Bubba's bees bring bears to ballrooms says:  
_Are you in your room right now?

_Kozlove says:_  
well no, I'm at Carlito AppLE's!

_Bubba's bees bring bears to ballrooms says:_  
just, stay away from your room... And you'll never have to stop believing that was just a dream...

_Kozlove says:  
_hm what?

**Bubba's bees bring bears to ballrooms might not reply as his/her status is set offline.**

_Kozlove says:_  
Oh shit...

**Bubba's bees bring bears to ballrooms might not reply as his/her status is set offline.**


	96. Easter Edition

6 to go... Will I be able to take randomness to the next level?  
Eh, we'll see -_-'

Inspired by: A fic I wrote months ago, just a different context and fandom. Dun dun dunnnn.  
Easter edition xD I'm using the p-word again. Gotta catch 'em all!

Matt Hardy wasn't in the greatest of moods today... In fact, he was in the worst mood ever.  
He had to listen to Jeff go on and on about only one thing; Pokemon, and he now wished Pokemon would be banned from tv, forever.

When Matt stepped outside he heard a noise he didn't recognise, and stepped to the bushes where the noise was coming from. After looking around for a few seconds he decided nothing was going on, shrugged and continued his way to the parkinglot.

Still Matt couldn't shake off the feeling that he wasn't alone, and every now and then he'd turn around to make sure nobody was following him.  
He got Jeff's car, and wanted to open it when suddenly he heard the noise again, but this time much closer.  
Matt turned around and came face to face with...

A giant bunnyrabbit, that was actually holding a basket.

Matt tilted his head as if to say 'What the hell?', and the bunny hopped up and down a few times. Matt shrugged again and stared at the bunny, not sure about what to do now.  
All of the sudden the bunny started to close in on him, and Matt got ready to perform a perfect Twist of Fate on the weird creature, but it wasn't necessary, since the bunny stopped in front of him and waved it's basket.

Out of the basket fell an egg, painted in Matt's favorite colors pink and purple. Before Matt could react the bunny disappeared and was never seen again.

Matt sighed, a bit wary he glanced at the egg and decided to pick up.  
Underneath it was a note, and Matt turned it around to read it.

'Dear Mister Sexy Matt,  
I'd like to wish you a happy Easter!

Love,  
Ash Ketchum, Pallet Town.'

Matt sighed and smiled, until it hit him... "Ash?" He mumbled. "Isn't he from Pokem... Nooooooooo!" 


	97. Newyears edition

I've been busy ya? Reading yaoi. I blame Sorryll. Yes I do.  
Ha!  
I'm so annoyed, I'm out of ideas again, so this chapter is based on REAL events! Yes, this actually happened to me and my brother too. It made me decide to never drink again.

**Note:** If you spotted a stupid error in the previous part: I'm sorry. I forgot to doublecheck lolz. It happens.

* * *

"Happy new year!" The Rock yelled to Bubba.  
"We'll just have to see about that..." Bubba replied annoyed.

Bubba was annoyed, because another year had passed, and he still didn't finish his book 'Bubba's bright book for blue brothers'. It was a sad thing, really.  
But The Rock couldn't be bothered by Bubba's mood, he was happy because he had.  
Fireworks!

Happily The Rock skipped outside, and lit some of the fireworks. The fireworks were beautiful, they were so colourful and bright, you know, just like The Rock liked it.

Just for fun The Rock decided to see what would happen if he would throw something in the hedge... He was slightly drunk, so he didn't really think, and well, as he would say later on, it wasn't his hedge anyway.

The Rock lit another fuse and threw the fireworks into the hedge. There was a funny sound and the hedge lit up, just like The Rock expected.

He smiled and skipped inside to ask Bubba to join him. He persuaded Bubba into playing around with fireworks aswell, and soon enough both men were having a blast.

After a little The Rock turned to Bubba and smirked.

"Throw it in the hedge, it'll light up really nice!" He said smiling.  
Bubba, now slightly intoxicated aswell, nodded and did what his 'friend' said.

They watched the hedge light up beautifully, and nodded at eachother, smiling.

Suddenly The Rock heard a sizzling sound, and stared at the hedge, confused.  
"What's that?" Bubba asked.  
The Rock tilted his head and took a step back, scratching the back of his neck.  
"Ehhhh..." He said, when flames started eat away parts of the hedge. "I think it's on fire?"


	98. Call Punk

**Inspired by:** The fact I WILL take randomness to a whole new level. I mean it. Ugh.  
I used a random sentence sentence generator, I don't know why, that thing cracked me up.  
It doesn't even have assassin in it -_-'.

* * *

_'CM Punk, to answer all of life's biggest questions, by saying only one line'_  
That's what the add said. Punk had been buying a lot of mopeds lately, so he was running out of money.  
Instead of selling one or two mopeds he started a service called 'Call Punk'. Yes, Mr. Kennedy was pretty annoyed by this, but that is besides the point.

After he installed the telephone people started calling, hoping to find some answers on questions that had been bothering them.  
Nobody however knew Punk was sitting behind a computer, visiting a website that generated random sentences.  
But once again, that's besides the point.

"Hello, this is Call Punk, what is your question?" Punk asked.  
"Heeeh, I was wondering, will I ever find love again?"

Punk hummed once or twice, and clicked 'new sentence' until he got something that could make at least some sense.

"Beneath the kidnapped trend leaps a favoring gender." Punk said with a serious voice.  
"Excuse me?" The called said.  
"Beneath the kidnapped trend leaps a favoring gender." Punk repeated. "Thanks for calling!"

He sighed when the next caller came through immediately after the first one.

"Call Punk, what's your question?" Punk asked.  
"Yeah, is there really a heaven and a hell?"

Punk hummed again, just for the dramatic effect and clicked 'new sentence' again.

"The array stops beneath the panel."  
"Eh, really?" The caller asked. "Is that a yes or a no?"  
Punk rolled his eyes, nobody could see him anyway. "I don't know, this is what the spirits tell me; The array stops beneath the panel!"  
"Spirits? So there is an afterlife!"  
"Thanks for calling!" Punk said. He hung up quickly.

Once again it didn't take long for someone else to call, and Punk started to curse his mopeds for bringing him so much trouble.

"Call Punk, what is your question?" Punk said bored.  
"Yeppers," a familiar voice said. "remember how I tried to make Santino shave his legs?" There was a sigh. "He got all pissy and now he won't talk to me anymore, what do I do?"  
"Ugh Beth, solve your own problems." Punk mumbled. "Lemme see..."

Punk clicked 'new sentence' because Beth did call him, and therefore she deserved to hear some nonsense.

"This is what they tell me..." He started. "A foreign heroin disappears throughout the apology."  
Beth remained silent for a minute. "So I should say I'm sorry, but halfway through the apology I should just... Run away?"  
"Eh yeah, you do that." Punk said. "I gotta go, see ya tomorrow."

Punk and Beth hung up their phones, and Punk waited for the next caller.

His phone rang, and he was about to answer it when suddenly someone jumped on top of him, hit him with an unknown object, and knocked him out.

The strange attacker answered the phone instead.  
"Yeah?"  
"Eh hi, listen, why did my mother marry a woman?"  
"I don't know..." The mystery man said. "But..."

Just like Punk he paused for the dramatic effect.

"But... Do you have any vaseline?"

* * *

Really, what'd you expect? -_-' Harr harr harrr...

Listen, next time I will post two chapters, 99 and 100, and a few days later 101, which will contain a big thankslist lmao. If you review you will be on it too... Duh.


	99. Brandnew Boy Band

Oh dear Lord I'm going through my very first fanfic... And believe me; I have improved haha xD Ugh, what a pain.  
... Why'd I write a lemon back then? Scary. Not even yaoi either. AHEM!

**Inspired by:** Sinterklaas, Dutch Holiday. People always write poems during this holiday... It inspires me to RHYME YEAH!

* * *

"The time is upon us..." Batista yelled, while, once again, getting on stage.  
"Yes it is!" Chris Jericho yelled. "I too, have discovered my inner talent!"  
"He really has, and boy, are you in for a surprise!" Batista smirked.

Everyone stared at the Animal and Y2J, wondering what would happen next... But nothing happened, except for...

For some odd reason more people got on stage, those people being Mr. Kennedy, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Triple H and HBK.  
Nobody was completely sure what to expect, so they just sat back and waited it out, knowing they could run away from here at any given moment anyway.

"Here we are, the newest boyband on the planet." The Animal said with a proud smile. "And we present to you our very first song! Sit back, relax and enjoy."

**Batista:** _'When life appears to be over,  
and everything seems to be going wrong,  
do what I usually do;  
get out and write a song!'_

**HBK:** _'When you think you don't look pretty,  
or really scary like Batista these days,  
go see a plastic surgeon,  
he can help you in many ways'_

**Y2J:** _'When your life gets too damn boring,  
and you think you might need a change of carreer,  
come see me and I will help you find one,  
for Y2J, the inventor is here!'_

**Chorus:** _'When you're feeling down,  
having such a very bad day,  
put on our awesome cd,  
and all will turn out okay'_

**SCSA:** _'When you're tired of your homeland,  
and a windmill it is you want to see,  
you should head to Europe because,  
In that case Holland is THE place to be!'_

**HHH:** _'When you're in need of new hobbies,  
and at the same time in need of a friend,  
I suggest you visit Kane pronto,  
for he's the dressed up, stealing man!'_

**Ken:** _'Or when you get stuck in a closet,  
and you just can not get away,  
"Call Ken and ask for vaseline",  
that is what they say!'_

**Chorus:** _'When you're feeling down,  
having such a very bad day,  
put on our awesome cd,  
and all will turn out okay'_

"Damn." Kane mumbled to his 'brother'. "Now everyone will know I'm a thief..."  
The Undertaker just stared back, slowly shaking his head.


	100. Personal Adds

Attempt 8 to write part 100. I am SO ANNOYED.

**Distracted and inspired by:** Bren -_sigh-_  
**R&R please, this is chapter 100, there's not much time left!**

_Note:_ This will be long, I want ALL of my FAVORITE superstars in it. So no Orton or Cena. Or Brian Kendrick, or Umaga... Damnit.

* * *

Have you ever wondered about how the superstars found their sweethearts?  
Do you really think all it takes is for them to smile at someone, pose like a bodybuilder and wink?  
Then you're wrong...

One of WWE's best hidden secrets is their newspaper WWE Revealed, and every once in a while, when too many superstars are single, they will include a special edition with.  
Well, personal adds.

It's very hard to get your hands on one of those, but for the sake of our own wellbeing, and maybe for the sake of the planet, you get read the latest edition!  
I highly suggest you don't reply to the adds though, I may cost you your sanity, especially if you happen to reply to one from the Game.

**0086 FinLay  
**Man, young, Irish, loves to fight, 1 son.  
Looking for; Woman, old, loves to fight.  
Keywords: Green, phones, leprechauns  
Misc: I'm awesome, and my mommy said I'm special.

**0401 Zoklov**  
Man, Russian, always pissed off, huge white knickers.  
Looking for: Glen, haven't seen him in a while!  
Keywords: Kane, thief, insane.  
Misc: Seen Glen? Please send me a message!!!!

**9813 Triple H**  
Man, pretty, friends with Kane and HBK.  
Looking for: New friends, preferably those with no criminal records.  
Keywords: The Game, Pokemon, Assassins, Kadabraaaaaa! SWOOSH  
Misc: Hmmm what does misc mean?!

**7278 Mr. Kennedy**  
Man, talkative, loud, sexy, awesome, blonde.  
Looking for: Loud woman, can not be as sexy as I am.  
Keywords: Kennedy Kennedy. KENNEDYYYYYY!  
Misc: I hail from Green Bay Wisconsin... Really.

**0001 Beth Phoenix**  
Female, young, intelligent and beautiful.  
Looking for: Someone who is not Santino.  
Keywords: Glamazon, awesome, fiery birds  
Misc: No Santino, you should NOT reply!

**0666 The Undertaker**  
Male, evil, dead, Brother of Destruction.  
Looking for: Souls.  
Keywords: Hell, fire, hats, chokeslam  
Misc: Now you're really going to hell!

**2310 Jeff Hardy**  
Male, sexy, rainbow-haired, smart and funneh  
Looking for: Woman with rainbow hair  
Keywords: Rainbows, Hardy, Disney Land, corpse paint  
Misc: Hardy Har Har^^

**4415 KANE!**  
Man, thief, Big Red Monster, Brother of Destruction  
Looking for: Sexy redhead to keep me busy between 7 and 9 PM  
Keywords: Redhead, sexy  
Misc: Rey... I am coming for you... I really am.

**0039 Pachirisu**  
Man with boobs, pretty, sexy boy  
Looking for: Man without boobs, tall and compact  
Keywords: Showstopper, Sweet Chin Music, Pokemon  
Misc: No. No thanks.

**1111 Mickie James**  
Woman, eh... Wait, you know who I am!  
Looking for: Woman, preferably one that looks like Melina  
Keywords: Heeeeh... You know!  
Misc: Ugh, what a pain.

**9079 The Animal  
**Man, animal, huge, talented, singer  
Looking for: A girl that has found her inner talent  
Keywords: working out, talent, animals  
Misc: No, nothing. Seeing me speaks for itself.

**2213 Santinooooo Marehhalera**  
Man, not sure how to write his last name anymore.  
Looking for: You? Yes, you.  
Keywords: language problems, Italy, icecream  
Misc: Marella? Harmella? Harrr harrr harrr (Carlito made me do that)

**3658 CM PUNK!**  
Mister, tattooed, pretty, has tagged with Kane  
Looking for: Girl that did not tag with Kane?  
Keywords: Pepsi  
Misc: Ahaha, I'm soooo baked.

**1234 Khali**  
Large man from India  
Looking for: Woman, so I can do 'Khali's Kiss Cam' again  
Keywords: Cam, kiss, chicken  
Misc: I'm not wearing underwear!!!! :D

**9909 Matt H-**  
Wishes to stag incognito  
Looking for: Tall, insane woman that does not like Pokemon  
Keywords: Eastereggs, bicycle, sexy torso  
Misc: Hardy Har Harrrrr!!!

**7654 Chris Jericho Y2J**  
Man, inventor, likes machines, likes to invent  
Looking for: Walls. I broke 'em all down.  
Keywords: Y2J, walls, inventors  
Misc: I ate your cookies

**4401 Stone Cold Steve Austin**  
Man, bald, awesome, insane, dance-machine  
Looking for: Sexy woman on clogs  
Keywords: Dancing, beer, winter and eh... Ho I dunno  
Misc: yay me matey, I gotst a wooden parrot

**0911 Natalya**  
Woman, best butt in the WWE  
Looking for: Man with big hands (Dalip)  
Keywords: Butt, diva, big hands  
Misc: No

**0112 REGAL!**  
British bastard, awesome entrance theme  
Looking for: Mr. Humphries  
Keywords: Free  
Misc: Mr. Humphries, are you free?

**2221 BUBBAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! YAYYY**  
MAN! Bubba likes b's.  
Looking for: Blue bears breaking black brooms  
Keywords: Bees, bears, brooms, bricks, balls  
Misc: Bubba's book brought black bricks

**6660 Mankind  
**... -  
Looking for: ... -  
Keywords: -  
Misc: I will crush you with my socks!

**9999 FeSTuS**  
Man, great facial expression  
Looking for: Kane  
Keywords: Festus, Kane, Red  
Misc: Tell me where Kane is, he's still on my hitlist. Because when the bell rings...


	101. The Ultimate Ending

Really, it's not that hard to guess what chapter 101 will be like right?  
**The ultimate, insane and longest Finish The Sentence in HISTORY.  
**Wow, I'm so dramatic.

**Last author notes:** Well, even though we're done, I am not done, and I will probably come up with something new. (WWE revealed? Diary of .... ? Suggestion Boxes? 101 Finish the Sentence's? (ARGH NO MORE 101!)) Sorry for the chapters that weren't funny, but really, what I do think is funny might seem lame to you and vice versa... By the way, some chappies made up for it big time right?  
I'll miss my long author's notes ugh.

**For the 101st. and very last time:**  
Please _R&R_ and ENJOY MY LOVES! And make sure you at least_ smirk_ a little when you're done reading!

* * *

"I want to play it one more time before we go on vacation." The Game mumbled with a sad face. "I'll miss it."  
Carlito sighed annoyed. "Stop rubbing it in, I can't come because I'm out of money."  
"Duh, you shouldn't have bought that many appletrees." The Game said.  
"Same here, I'm broke too, so let's play instead of feel bad over not going on vacation." Punk said.  
"Dude." Kane said to Punk. "Why do you have that many mopeds anyway? It's not like you can ride 'em all at once..."  
"Maybe because he keeps crashing into trees?" 'Taker said smirking.  
"Hmmm... Are you free, Mr. Humphries?"

Everyone stared at Regal before turning back to the subject that did matter.

"Let's play!" The Game said for the last time. "Here goes nothing."  
"Wait, wait." Rey Mysterio said. "Let's make a few notes, so we can get a really long story!"

Triple H sighed and made a few more notes, because Rey... Well, he did have a point.

"I'm done." He said after ten minutes. "_Time to play the gaaame_."

_Once upon a time there was a..._  
Wrestler?  
_His name was..._  
Mr. Humphries  
_He wanted to go to..._  
The movies.  
_But first he had to..._  
Call Punk.  
_He did, and he was told to..._  
start a boyband.  
_He decided..._  
he would nevah play with fireworks again.  
_Because..._  
Ash Ketchum sent him a note.  
_He felt really..._  
emo  
_And wished he..._  
was an assassin  
_so he could..._  
get outta that damn wooden shoe.

_His friends..._  
came to play Guitar Hero.  
_And he thought..._  
He would never get out of that damn pipe again.  
_He got..._  
new boobs  
_And ended up in..._  
the hospital.  
_He planned on...  
_Hiding under a bed  
_But was distracted by..._  
Ooyaka Booyaka  
_Who tried to make him..._  
decapitate someone with a feather duster.  
_Saddest thing of the day was..._  
The fact my Doduo got killed by a Pikachu

_In order to set things right he..._  
made two parrots annoy the hell out of Mark  
_And was happy to see..._  
His My Little Pony statue back at its rightful place.  
_But something happened! He..._  
Got run over by a moped!  
_And someone suggested he..._  
Should stop playing with fire all the time.  
_He said..._  
'har har harrrrr matey, savvy? yay me matey, I gotst a wooden parrot'  
_And in the end..._  
he decided to become an inventor  
_And... (Put in happy ending)_  
they were finally able to destroy Ken's vocal chords!

Ending...

"Wow, we really rule." Punk said wide-eyed.  
"Agreed, now let us go on vacation!" Jeff yelled happily, jumping around and into a wall.  
"Hmmm... Bye bye."

Everyone said bye to Carlito and Punk, and they all went to Disneyland where...

_Y2J got eaten by a grizzly.  
Kane fell off a flight of stairs and broke his bad knee.  
HHH became a stand-in for Goofy.  
Matt met Ash and married him.  
Jeff started another fight over nachos.  
'Taker took everyone's toys, taking after Kane a little.  
Bubba tried to make an army of little kids in order to take over Belgium, Bahrain, Bangladesh and the Bahamas.  
Batista fell out of a rollercoaster.  
Umaga got stuck in a closet.  
Mr. Kennedy started to illegally sell vaseline._

_And everyone else just had fun, and came home unharmed... Except for HBK, because when he was on the plane his boobs couldn't cope with the pressure, so they exploded and HBK was killed._

**The real ending of the chapter and of the whole series.  
**

**

* * *

**

**Thanks to these people for reviewing:** Warrior from beyond, BloodNGore, WWEAngel, Edward's Josie Black, Medieval Mystic, Ainat, Souless666, Heartbreak-Phenom, Vinnie K., Alexander Perry, CMPunksxXxGirl, Dark Kaneanite, BK, LCHime, BellaHickenBottom, ayumidah, TheVampireLucinda, kbbaby2123, Princess of Darkness 02, tinkrbell225, shadeana395, Sinfully Sined, FujikoFujikage95

**Also thanks to:** Those who have added the story to their favorites list, those insane enough to put me on their author-alert list, those who added me to their favorite author list, those who put this on story alert and those who read but never decided to show themself. Yeah I know you're out zere, hiding in ze shadows!  
THANKS MY LOVES.

Last thing: Do not forget about me! I will come up with something new soon, more humor and WWE.  
I just need a lil' break xD

**280 + Reviews, 12.000 + Hits.  
Hail readers!**


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